What other signs do you need?

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Avatar for George_Dee
2 years ago

I would like to use this opportunity to say a big thank you to everyone who made yesterday special for me, the calls, messages, tags, comments, and tips mean a lot to me. I pray we will all live long to celebrate more beautiful moments in our lives.


There are lots of things that shouldn't be a do-or-die situation in life, relationship is one of them and I believe that when the future of a relationship doesn't look secure, it's best to walk away from such relationship else it might end disastrously.

I was wondering what other signs people need to see people in a relationship before they know it is the right time to quit. It is impossible not to have misunderstandings in a relationship, it would come because we can't be perfect no matter how much we try to be, and the fact that we were raised differently would make us have lots of differences but going into a relationship mean that you are matured enough to handle and endure the difference but this maturity and endurance of thing mustn't be done blindly.

Domestic violence is one big issue lots of relationships experience today and I keep asking myself if it all started over the night. This has nothing to do with a particular gender, the world has graduated to a state where both males and females experience violence in their relationship.

This act doesn't start suddenly even though people are smart with hiding who they are before they tie the knot properly, you don't just meet someone today and marry them the next day, relationship will pass through the dating and courtship phase which gives us the privilege to understand the other person in and out.

That period is enough to make you decide if you should stay or pass but people forget about the most important thing to do at that period, we are more concerned about gifts, outings, sex, and others. Our biggest priority should be knowing the other person and being sure that he or she is the right person for us.


A lady once mentioned that they have courted for years and it was difficult to make that decision, shouldn't your happiness be a priority?

I am not surprised because many relationships today aren't built on feelings, the goodies in them are what matters, and some people wouldn't mind getting tortured as long as the benefits in the relationship wouldn't stop.

A guy once said he has spent too much than just let her go, that sounds like embracing a time bomb because your wallet was locked in it.

I read the story of a girl who was beaten to a coma on the internet by her boyfriend, she claimed it wasn’t the first time but she was always hiding it from people. If the new case didn’t go public, I am certain she would still cover-up and will one day say yes to his proposal knowing fully well that she will remain a punching bag forever.

If the beating is not enough to make her quit, what other sign in the world would make her understand that she was practically digging her grave if she remained in the relationship? This is common sense; you don’t need God to come down to tell you to quit the relationship.


I know a man who endured his wife's violent attitude; he didn’t know he was in hell until the woman pour hot soup on his head after an argument. She ran away leaving her two daughters behind, the man almost lost his sight because of the incident. Many years after the incident, we had a conversation and he said it was his fault because she has always been like that even during their courtship days. She threatens him with a knife and other dangerous things but he thought he was in control and wouldn’t react which later backfired.

The lady beaten to coma or the man who almost lost his sight wouldn’t have experienced such if they paid attention to the signs in the early days in the relationship, they don’t just develop attitude suddenly. They have been showing it bit by bit but we didn’t pay attention to it, for some they think they are in control while some believe that they can change that habit.

It is dangerous having the hope of changing people; some people can’t be changed no matter how much you try. I wouldn’t hesitate to quit even a long-time relationship if I notice any form of toxicity in the person, a relationship should add to your happiness and not be a threat to your existence.


If you choose to stay because of the kid or because you are carrying a baby, be rest assured that the kids will be fine when you are long gone. Many had the opportunity to see the sign severally while some saw it a few times before meeting with their end, if you have the will to live then you wouldn't hesitate to quit.


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2 years ago

Comments

Whatever the reason is, don't lay your hand on a woman!

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's the point, it only show how weak a man is.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

For me, violence MUST never be tolerated. That's how my father raised us. He never touched my Mom in a violent way, even if he's angry — and my two brothers got it from him too. He always tell them that they should not hit their wives. Maybe this is the reason why I really hate violence against women, especially when coming from a boyfriend / husband

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I love your dad for that, I believe it should be a lesson every parent must teach their children.

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2 years ago

Any kind of violence shouldn't and must not be tolerated not just in relationship but to everyone. I'm so lucky that violence doesn't exist in our family, of course my mom and dad will be in a fight sometimes but they don't tolerate any kind of violence and just talk after they calm their heads.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is impossible not to have those times when there will be an argument but both sides must understand that it mustn't lead to violence.

Issues should be ironed out properly without violence.

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2 years ago

This is one of the reasons why some of my friends chose the "live in" set up rather than getting married. Trully you won't see the real attitutude of your partner unless you too live together in one roof. So for them it would be easy to end the relationship just in case it doesn't work. No need to spend a lot of money in annulment😂

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I don't really understand the "live in" system, it is best not to get involved at all. That's my belief.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Same here, I don't agree with that set up.

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2 years ago

Although we usually hear or see that domestic violence are mostly against women and children, there are a few cases also of violence against men. I agree with your points, even if a person spent money for his/her partner, that does not give the right to just let him/her be violent and live life a complete mess. I hope people could not just dwell with feelings but value their lives before its too late.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

There are lots of men who are suffering in silence but won't quit or even voice out because they will be referred to as weakling. As long as the relationship doesn't add value, it is best to quit

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2 years ago

If a man shows his red flag to me, that is considered a warning to me. I will not stay for someone who walks with a red flag in them. The worst sign I've seen to a man is being too much clingy and attached. There's a chance that it will develop into an obsession and if something happens that he doesn't like, he'll end up beating the woman. My grandfather always told me, a man who raises his voice and hands to his woman is not a real man. A real man shows respect and patience to his woman.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Grandpa was right, no real man will raise his hands on a woman.

Once we notice the signs, we should quit preventing inflicting pain on ourselves.

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2 years ago

That's true. It's the woman's prerogative to distance herself from the man who could become a monster in the long run of their relationship.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Walking away is the surest remedy, anything aside from that can cause a bigger problem later in the relationship.

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2 years ago

It's better to prevent the worst things to happen than be in a situation wherein you're too late to walk away.

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2 years ago