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What have your memories shaped you into?

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Avatar for George_Dee
Written by   254
1 month ago

I had something else planned for today but I felt like this can't wait because it baffles me a lot when people claim that they are doing things based on what has happened in the past.

It is can be good or bad, probably someone helped and got rewarded for helping, he or she wouldn't hesitate to help next time but what if it is the other way around?

This thought has been running in my head since yesterday after a discussion with some people while I was waiting at the farm for electricity, it was a lousy one but I was mute all through trying to figure out why we make some mistakes in life. Indeed, we are not perfect but I think not all situations require us to be perfect before we can handle it.

My mom use to say an adage in Yoruba, it says "Ti aba diju ki eni buruku koja, ti eni ire ma fi koja - a koni mo".

It simply means that if we close our eyes hoping that all the bad humans pass us, we wouldn't know when the good ones will pass us by.

I wouldn't want to go into the story because I missed some parts so I decided to come up with something very related to it.


There was this barren woman, she lost her relationship because of this and her husband was too weak to handle his family pressure. They have tried different means of treatment but nothing came up, the husband decided to have an extramarital affair.

The woman caught him and filed for a divorce and the man didn't hesitate to go for the offer. The woman in person is a doctor which means she would have done a lot just to end her barrenness, every result says they are good but why isn't anything happening?

The husband's new lover got pregnant after few months and the child finally came into the world. The woman was in deep sadness and she decided not to give a man a chance again because she thought she had the issue since the husband could impregnate someone else.

Her siblings tried to talk her into marrying someone else, she was 34, and making such a decision doesn't look good for her. They staged her with suitors on different occasions and she even turned down advances from her church brethren, I guess she was too hurt judging by the husband's action.

She was like that for the next six years of her life until she came across a man when she went on vacation to Canada. Her cousin wanted her to come to stay for few months and everyone was in support because it could help her snap out of that life she has chosen due to betrayal and it worked.

She surrendered herself to the advances of the man but just for fun and after few days of outing, she felt loved again. The man is single, his wife died and he wanted a mother for his child and a woman for himself.

She visited him at home, after lots of fun they ended up in his room. She felt stupid to trust a man again but acted cool, there was nothing to be worried about since she would be leaving the country soon. She eventually left the country only for her to discover that she was two weeks gone, how did that happen??

It looked impossible, she told her family and she immediately contacted the man, he was very happy and never doubted her. He immediately started organizing how he was going to visit Nigeria and after everything, they eventually got married and she had her first child at 44.

The husband's child is a sickle cell patient which is a mystery, he is AA while the new lover is AS so how did the issue of SS come up. In the long run, the man discovered he wasn't the father of the child he had called his own for over six years which means he has been the one with the hidden problem all this well.


I think it is wrong to judge everyone by what someone has done to us in the past because we don't know who will make us happy again.

Aside from the relationship affair, I have seen people who choose not to help people or do some other things because they were once betrayed, taken for granted, or not appreciated.

It is impossible to say that you wouldn't visit the hospital because a relative once died there, we just have to get over whatever happened so that we can be on the brighter side of life again.

Bad things will occur, we will experience betrayal from people we never expected it to come from, breakups, and others will shake us, break us but we mustn't let it reshape us from the good human we have always been. Nothing or nobody in the whole world is worth letting go of your happiness for, we must pick ourselves up and learn to walk on that path where we once fell.


Imagine a man who caught his lover cheating, they left each other but he ended up becoming a beast to another woman. He monitors her and beats her for every little mistake she makes because he now believes every woman is a cheat, that is not right. Such a terrible experience doesn't need to reshape you from being a good person to a bad one.


Or


While growing up, you had financial challenges and no one stood up to help you. You have finally become successful and you think that since you made it to the top yourself, nobody deserves your help.


You are wrong about that, people not helping you when you needed help shouldn't reshape you. It should make you understand that there are lots of people out there struggling without anyone to support them and since you know what it feels like, you should come to their aid instead of acting cruelly to them.

Those things you went through are a lesson to make you stronger and better at what you are doing, it doesn't necessarily should make you inhuman. We are not the only one who has been through this, a lot of people did and healed so why are we harboring those memories when they hurt our present life.

You not doing the right thing because of your dark memories might make life terrible for someone else out there, or do you doubt that?

A person who chooses not to help ignores someone who is in need, has he made life good or worse for the person in need? Whatever ugly memory you have shouldn't reshape you for bad, it should only make you a better human in life.


Thanks for reading.

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Avatar for George_Dee
Written by   254
1 month ago
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Comments

Hmmm we can't say because we have had an accident with car we won't enter inside car again So life goes on we should just do what we want to do and let the past remain in the past

$ 0.00
1 month ago

This kind of scenario is available everywhere. But it is common when someone gets hurt, next time he/she will find everything in pain. And also it will never be justice to impose someone's fault, on others.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

That's right, taking vengeance of the past on the present or the future is a very terrible thing to do.

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1 month ago

Yes, My friend. I think so.

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1 month ago

Nice read. We come across so mamy peoples in our daily lives. Never expect everyone to be good to you, for that one should have an welcoming heart. Though we cannot forget a person who betrayed us, we can forgive him to a certain extent. Cos life should move on.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

That's true, everyone can't be good but if we decide to shut ourselves out of the world because of the bad people, we won't realize when the good ones would pass us by.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

That adage though. My memories really does shape me into thinking in some particular ways.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

It should be into a better person than you were before, those memories should give us the urge to be the best we can.

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1 month ago

I said this here before in another article,. Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place. Not because you suffer uncertainty doesn't mean you will suffer forever..there is always a new hope in every day you wake up in the morning. You just have to follow the right path.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

We experience some shit by involving with the wrong people, it doesn't mean that we are unfortunate. As you have said that we have to follow the right path, the best thing is patiently involving ourselves with the right people

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1 month ago

Everyone has a memory to share, either good or bad. There's are some tough memories that will always remind us of where we start from , we thought about the struggle we pass through, we think about the windy moments.

All this memories should always make us to be filled with enthusiasm because it will always be a story to tell. Not all winds came to cause destruction but some wind come to reshape us so that we we'll be able to fit in to the right place.

So in this case, we let the bygones be bygones, acting upon the bad experience we face will always limit us to do great things, we just and to move on with life.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

That's it dear, we have to move on regardless of whatever is happening in the past. We should surely not forget the lessons so that we guide us as we walk through the path again.

How have you been? I have been as busy as hell for the past two days now but I am back to life again.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

This article is active on our every day to day occurance in this world, not just in movies, it's happening. Sometimes I wish to question God, but who am I? Allowing the good ones to suffer what is never their fault and takes a "never to come" to balance back. ||| it wasn't the woman's fault to play that fate on her decision for men cause of what she suffered, but thank God for God.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

Some things are beyond our control and we should bite ourselves too hard over them.

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1 month ago

Everyday is a chances. It doesn't mean if you haven't good image at the past it will change yourself who truly you are. Stay the same..

Just continue who you are. Live life with a positive surroundings. Motivate yourself and lift up. Treasure the time. It's God gift.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

That's true, the present is a gift that must be treasured and valued. Failure to do that might end in regrets.

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1 month ago

Yes George. Just continue the life with a positivity..

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1 month ago

Its our common attitude, we always restrict ourselves from doing good or to believe others, just because of our bad memory or bad experienced. Not everyone is same, if someone cheated us, it doesn't mean that every person would be the same.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

We are all different, we might be unlucky dealing with some people in the past and that doesn't make us unlucky forever.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

We just have to try another one, everything can be the same, if we have the mentality that everything or ever is the same, we end up losing a great opportunity. And opportunity they say it comes but once.

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1 month ago

My memories shape on me was becoming a better person. Im thankful that all my past journey serves as a lesson to my life.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

I am happy to hear this, your memories helped you in becoming a better person. It would be great if you can share some memories with us in an article.

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1 month ago

Aweee I already did. Just check out my account🤗🤗

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1 month ago

It was a nice story and a great lesson too. We can never be happy if we keep on looking back on the sad memories of our life, I mean there is no use if we keep hanging to the past, it will only make us more miserable and we will not find our happy ending. In the end it’s all a matter of choice and decision.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

There are good and bad memories about the past, whichever memories stand as a hindrance to having a beautiful life in the present should be trashed.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Not necessarily. He does not help you or refuses to help you for different reasons, but the most likely thing is that that person does not like you or has hatred and envy of you. I prefer to always help everyone I can, it makes me feel good about myself.

$ 0.02
1 month ago

That's one thing about helping people, I feel very fulfilled doing it because it is one of our mandatory purposes in the world and we must do it.

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1 month ago

It's not easy because I once suffered this betrayal from a trusted friend and I had decided not to put my hopes on friendships.

$ 0.01
1 month ago

I understand you very well Prisca, the point is that you don't have to think you won't have friends anymore.

You will have you just have to know your limit and boundary, what if the friends coming your way now are here to have a positive effect on your life.

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1 month ago