Our generation is misinterpreting a lot of things and it doesn't feel cool seeing the repercussions of their silly belief, people are losing their lives every day all for the sake of being in a relationship that doesn't have to be so. Anything that doesn't give you peace or happiness, anything that serves as a threat to your life must be cut off. I don't care what it is, as long as your life is on the line for doing or engaging it then it is not worth it.
I am practically writing this to every woman/lady/girl that comes across this article, I pray you don't lose your life trying to prove a point especially when it has to do with relationships. This doesn't mean the males are not affected but the females fall victim to this problem.
When our mothers are talking to us about their marriage, many of them usually make it clear that they suffered with our father before they became what they are today.
A lot of females today have misinterpreted the word "suffered" and it has turned their lives into something else in their marriage, it is a good thing for a woman to stand by her man because that was what most of our parents meant but it is the other way around today.
Some weaklings who call themselves men now find pleasure in abusing their wives physically and some of our females today would sit comfortably in such relationships claiming that after all, their mom suffered with their dad. I am not sorry to say this but enduring such a thing is like digging your grave before you even die because sooner or later, a man who finds pleasure in beating you at any slight issue would put you in a bus going to the afterlife.
The suffering our mother endured has to do with not having the things they needed but they struggled with their husband to improve their life materially, financially and in other areas, this doesn't mean there weren't men who abuse their wives then but not at the rate we are seeing today.
I am staying because of my kids.
Is it until he kills you before you understand that your kids would suffer more if he marries another wife after you are gone?
Nothing is worth you giving your life for and you are close to death once your marriage becomes a threat to your life, your kids will live after.
Some countries take the issue of domestic violence seriously and they will go at any length to get justice for the woman but when you are in a lawless country like where I am writing this from right now, you might be endangering your life all in the of giving your kids a good life.
Do you think your kids are happy seeing you serve as a man punching bag? Or what mentality do you think you are building in them?
You want your male children to think it is normal for them to beat their wife since you are enduring it or the female child to settle for something like that.
Many of us think we can't give our kids a good life but we are mistaken and this mentality is coming as a result of the fact that we depend too much on our men. Opting in for the position of a full housewife is a big issue because it deprives you of some rights in your relationship, it might sound somehow but that is the truth.
People will speak dirty about me.
If you think anyone cares about your life then you are making a big mistake, the same world you are worried about what they will say will also say that you are foolish to have endured the abuse to the point of losing your life.
Putting the world into consideration above your peace, life, happiness, mental health and physical health is shit because no one cares about what you do with your life.
If anything happens the same world will use your story as a lesson to other young ladies our there. In life, you are either an inspiration or a lesson to others and the choice is yours to make.
The reason why many people are stuck in an abusive relationship is that:
1. Financial purpose
After putting the financial aspects of their life into consideration a lot of people will choose to stay, I can't afford a big house in the best part of the city, I can't go around in expensive cars, I might be able to put my kids in the best schools and so on, that is why every woman must have a means of income.
Thank God the world has gone digital and this gives us different opportunities to earn, there is a way to earn that will fit into your time.
2. Having excessive kids.
People don't see this as a problem until power changes hand in their relationship, having too many kids would some women stay because the first thing that would come to their mind is how do I cater for all of them?
These articles wasn't written to advise anyone but I believe some points would make you think twice about enduring domestic violence. As for the single, we should be sure of what we are getting into. A man doesn't just become abusive over the night, you must have been seeing signs you are not taking seriously.
It is a long list and whatever we think ours is doesn't worth it trading our lives for, we should always be prepared ahead for things like that. Don't lose guard because your relationship is smooth today, always pray that God should never allow the devil, and don't be the devil yourself.
Whoever or whatever makes you feel that you won't be able to survive alone is just trying to walk you into the grave, it might be tough but it will get easier and it is better than enduring the everyday beating.
I said earlier that this is not an advice, your life matters more than anything. I have a true life story that inspired this which happened to someone I know very well and I will share the story tomorrow to avoid adding to the already lengthy article.
I agree with you that is why I would like to tell everyone women I know that we should be a " FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT". It is very important because in case you got an abusive husband you can leave him without thinking . You know you can manage. Besides we have a law here in our country to protect us (What is Republic Act 9262 in the Philippines). In addition I believed that somehow if a man knows the capability of his wife somehow he would think twice before committing those. So if ever my husband would abuse me, I gonna leave and sue him.