Should there be privacy in relationships?

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Avatar for George_Dee
2 years ago

Privacy in relationships is a subject that has led to lots of bad happenings in relationships in the world today and the impact of our smart phones on privacy issues has taken things from fair to worse. I will approach this topic from different angles just to express myself clearly.


What do you think in regards to privacy in relationships?

Privacy in relationships is not something I encourage 100% but I also think it can't be completely avoided in a relationship and this depends on the people who are involved in the relationship.

Whether we like it or not, there are things our partners wouldn't want to share with us no matter how open they are to us, and the decision whether to talk about it or not is left to them. This is not because they are cheating, sometimes it could be for good reasons.

During the early day of my relationship with my partner, she tells me a lot. She is beautiful and guys were always disturbing her, I mean guys that can pay me off to leave her alone.

I started feeling insecure because I was very broke, she noticed it and stopped giving me a complete breakdown of her daily experience at work, on the road, and others. It only increased the level of insecurity in the relationship because I felt she was up to something and when we talked about it after a quarrel she told me why she stopped.

Privacy in a relationship has to do with trusting one another that's why it is wrong to go into a relationship with someone you don't trust because every move your spouse makes becomes something to be suspicious about.

As much as we think that privacy is not okay in a relationship because it builds chances for people to cheat while in a relationship, we must understand that there is a need for it to some extent.


How do you expect a woman whose boss is crushing on her to tell her husband such a thing? What do you think would run through the husband's mind when she is dressed up for work or when she closes late from work claiming she had too much work on her desk?

She has the right to keep that private as long she can handle it without breaking the trust of her husband, telling things like that even make the husband insist on her quitting the job but it shouldn't be a secret if she can't control it because it could get worse if the husband finds out.

Privacy in a relationship is a very complicated thing and I think the level of the lover's understanding will determine a lot of things about their individual lives.

Is it okay for partners to go through each other's phones?

Yes, it is okay. I do check my fiancee's phone but do not intend to find something incriminating, there are times when I leave my phone with her if she is around. She knows my passwords, our finger prints opens each others phones so we trust one another and wouldn't do anything to ruin our beautiful relationship.

We spend time together watching videos on Facebook, she tells me to help reply to messages when it pops up, and I play candy crush a lot on her phone. Checking to find incriminating things on the phone will only make you get mad at irrelevant issues.

There is no big deal in that as long as they don't have anything fishy about them on the phone. I don't know all her friends because I am not interested but she knows mine and the relationship I keep with. There are boundaries though, I don't reply to messages that have to do with her family even if she tells me to help her do so because that should be private.

Does keeping your phone away from your partner spell infidelity?

It does and it doesn't, if it has been a tradition from the early days in the relationship then, it is probably fine but if in my relationship such happens, we will know that something is wrong.

I was trying to flirt some time ago, I was just pulling legs and I had to start hiding my phone. I didn't complete 10% of the mission before I was caught, it was easy for her to know that something was wrong. It was funny then, I have to take my phone to the bathroom whenever she is around. It is the foundation that has been laid that would determine if hiding a phone from a partner spells infidelity.

Or are these just thoughts of an insecure body in the relationship?

Insecurity in a relationship can build up all these issues about privacy and it beats down to the question of "Why would you go into a relationship with someone who you don't trust?" This insecurity feeling ruins a relationship and it is better not to get into it than deprive yourself of peace all in the name of being in a relationship.


Too much privacy in a relationship can create a hole or room for infidelity.

A woman once told me about having a separate room from her husband in the same house, they sleep separately except they want to make love and the husband took advantage of that.

She was checking through his phone and saw a contact that he does video call and voice call with every night, she confronted him but it was late because the lady the husband was dating was pregnant already.
Too much privacy can lead to infidelity so we have to define privacy in our relationship in the best way we think no one will get hurt in the relationship.

The most important thing remains that lovers must trust each other to a point where their individual lives won't become a problem in the relationship.


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Avatar for George_Dee
2 years ago

Comments

Everybody has a right to their privacy no matter the situation. I don't see why a person will be going through their partner's phone, what are they looking for? It simply shows they don't trust their partner and it makes no sense to be in a relationship with someone you don't trust. I don't have to tell my partner everything because there are some things that are negligible and doesn't need to be discussed.

If eventually my partner finds out and she's someone who trusts me, then she will likely not discuss it too because she knows I can handle it. It becomes a problem when she starts jumping to conclusions and seeing smokes where there's no fire, that signals lack of trust in the relationship

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I tried checking my partners phone before and I found some saved texts there that makes me hate him but after he explains that it was all finish and the girl is out of his life now, I feel ok and now I touch his phone but I dont care anymore with who he is chatting, it will just cause me stress🤣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

my husbnad and I were open with our phones, when I come home from work, I give it to him or the kids, for they will borrow it so they can watch videos. Sometime ago, I saw some group chat on his messenger with lots of porn videos in it and it became a fight since then I felt insecure but after a moment, he must have realized he does not want to lose me and the kids, and deleted it. But he said he did not ask for it, just random friends added him the group. but other than that, he never did anything that made me insecure and he now is more careful not to hurt me with his phone.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It's all about trust. And this is deemed as one of the foundations of building a harmonious relationship. For me is it okay for me to keep a relationship in private, however, it's a different kind of feeling when you know that your partner can proudly flex you in public. ✨ Bro this is an interesting topic!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I love keeping my relationship private, it is a good thing to do.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I love how you ticked every aspect of this post and I absolutely agree with you. There are certain things we wouldn't want to share especially when we know the person we are dealing with. It's a way of protecting them and like you said not breaking the trust code.

I don't give her my phone all the time for two major reasons, I know how clumsy she can be. She doesn't mean it to happen but she's not very handy when it comes to phone. My phone is my work mode and I know how she can leave pages open, mistakenly delete things or even drop phones and my body no dey take am 😂😂😂🤣. Even when she does the same with her phone, I complain... How much more, mine?

Also, based on the nature of advice I give to people... Some of her friends with relationship issues ask me stuff and I don't want her to start looking at her friends differently to know they are having relationship wahala...so I don't tell her and she knows I won't either...

There was a time she was explaining the qualities of a counsellor and she mentioned how it's important for a counsellor to learn how to be secretive and she made reference to me...she said she understood better and that's why she won't even poke further.

This is a wonderful post, brother. You nailed it.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's one of the reasons why it is important to marry someone who understands you very well.

She understands the nature of what you do and she respects your opinions plus you aren't the type for cheating so she has nothing to worry about. I believe in pure openness and it is definitely okay to hold back things when it will make your lover uncomfortable.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's it, my brother...mutual understanding and trust...they are important... It saves a lot of drama.

Thank you so much, my brother.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

My partner and I have been together for more than 20 years and I do agree that there are things that you should not share to your partner if it will only cost him more pain.

We are also open in our phones like he knew my socmeds accounts and so do I. I have his accounts in my phone because he sometimes forgets his...

This is a nice topic George.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Many people don't think some things shouldn't be discussed, it would only bring fears and doubt to one of the couples.

20 years is a long time and I am happy you guess trust each other with a very important part of yourself.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

To go through each other phone, yes it's okay for me too George. As a couple you need to be open. There's nothing wrong with that if you are open through looking each other phone, it's your wife, it's your husband. Trust each other.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's what it should be, I believe that there should be transparency in relationships. Couples should live as one, the Bible said two shall come together to be one

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes George you're absolutely right. Be open always with the partners. It's the best in relationship.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

For me, everyone in a couple has the right to respect each other's privacy. Me, I don't touch my partner's phone. I also let him do what he wants. I just told him, if he intends to cheat on me, he should just break up with me first and I don't want to be stressed.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I respect your opinion, the fact that you don't want stress makes it clear that you are not a troublemaker.

Have you been tempted to check before?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ahahahahha yes I was tempted but after that, it just left me overthinking things but actually, its just normal. I know my man will not break my trust for him so yeah..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agree about going through each other phones too. But as for now, I respect my partner's preference of not liking it. I respect his privacy. We also talk about it before we became couple. But of course, if sooner or later, I became his legal partner (wife), I will surely discuss it to him.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Do you think he will allow you to check his phone when you are married?

Does he check yours? I like how you are making things work by respecting your lover's preference for privacy and as long as you trust him there is nothing to be worried about.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I feel like, nothing should be kept away from your partner. And if you can't trust your partner, do not enter a relationship. I love your relationship are. God when🤣🤣🤣

$ 0.01
2 years ago

God when ke? Trust is what really matters, couples should really be open to one another.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I'd you are still keeping any form of privacy in your relationship it means you don't trust your partner and if you don't trust your partner then there is no future for the relationship

Family privacy is a different thing entirely

$ 0.01
2 years ago

You are about that, there should be total transparency between couples because it makes relationships very healthy .

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Privacy? It depends if we woman feels something is off. Sometimes it's not a matter of trust but if one has nothing to hide, privacy is not an issue. We have to keep an eye on our belonging, you know. 🤣

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah I support that because your partner is part of your belongings 🤣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

As long as there is nothing fishy, there is nothing to be hidden. You are right to protecting your property, it is very important.

$ 0.00
2 years ago