I made my intention known about proposing to my lover this month, it is something I have always look forward to doing for some time now because we have been together for quite some time.
I made my intention known to her and she didn't hesitate to turn me down immediately, it broke my heart badly. Why would she turn me down because she isn't ready and I am?
I thought once I proposed, she would jump at it even though she isn't ready to be a wife or mother yet. Now I feel sad and wished I didn't take the step when I did, I don't know what to do.
I proposed to @Princessbusayo on Monday morning and she made me understood that she wasn't ready, the denial opened my mind to a lot of mistakes we are making in relationships today.
Don't mind me, I was just joking with her due to her response to my comment on her post but I saw things differently because it is not a proposal that should end with yes. It would hurt but that pain would be greater if you guys aren't prepared before going into the marriage.
It is everyone's dream to take their relationship a step further but it is something that must be done with caution.
These mistakes are the reasons why we see relationships crash some years after marriage and I think the first every male and female must ask themselves before proposing or accepting a proposal is that, am I ready?
The readiness would be judged by the following:
The world today is fond of doing things because others are doing it and it has landed a lot of people in problems, some were able to get out of it while some got stuck in it forever.
Love is not enough to keep a relationship today, there are lots of things attached that we are not taking seriously.
Compatibility:
What's the first thing comes to your mind when asked are you compatible with your lover?
I have seen people talk about their lover's character when asked about compatibility but it is more than that. Before proposing or saying yes to a proposal, there are health issues you must pay attention to.
Things like the Blood group, Fertility status, and others must be put into consideration before taking things too seriously.
These things must have been checked to avoid situations that would end up breaking the marriage in the future.
Ability to Endure and Tolerate:
Before proposing you must be sure you can endure and tolerate your lover's flaws because we are all imperfect. I think this is one of the top priorities to avoid everyday conflict in the relationship.
We see the issue of domestic violence every day on the internet, the inability to endure one another flaws is what results in quarreling and fighting in relationships.
Embracing each other differences.
We are born differently and raised by different people, we grow in different communities, we have different ways of life, we were taught different values, trained with different ideas and these things make us different.
They make us think differently and take different actions to same the same issues even though there are times when we reason alike. Our differences are enough to tear relationships apart and that's one reason why we must be ready to embrace our spouse's differences.
Been compatible doesn't mean there won't be differences, there will always be one but we must be ready to endure if we want to take relationships to the next level.
Aside from these points, there are things both gender must put into consideration.
For The Male...
Becoming a husband and a father is not a simple task, it comes with lots of sacrifices and once you make the move, you are in for it except the person has made up his mind to be an irresponsible person.
You must be ready to protect and support the family mentally, morally, physically, and financially.
You must be matured enough to handle a relationship else it would end with regrets.
For The Female
Females these days believe that they don't have much to do in a relationship, most of them believe it has to do with just been called a wife or mother. It is more than that because women are meant to be a man's supporters in marriage.
They have lots of tasks just like the male and the happiness of a family depends on the woman beautiful they are the bond that holds the family together. A lady who is not ready to be a mother and a wife at the same time shouldn't see marriage as a priority.
Both parties in the relationship are meant to support each other, the house chores don't have to be for the woman alone while the family finance doesn't have to be the man's duty alone, they are meant to boost each other effort.
The marriage proposal isn't something you should accept because your friends are married or because you want to boast about the ring, a wrong purpose can see you drown.
This is just a piece of advice and it has nothing to do with my plans, we must be sure of what we are getting into before taking that huge step.
It is a lifetime journey that brings lots of happiness, thanks for reading.
We should be ready physically, emotionally, spiritually ♥️ I pray the best for you , you going to get there not now but in Gods perfect timing ♥️