She said No...

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3 years ago

I made my intention known about proposing to my lover this month, it is something I have always look forward to doing for some time now because we have been together for quite some time.

I made my intention known to her and she didn't hesitate to turn me down immediately, it broke my heart badly. Why would she turn me down because she isn't ready and I am?

I thought once I proposed, she would jump at it even though she isn't ready to be a wife or mother yet. Now I feel sad and wished I didn't take the step when I did, I don't know what to do.

I proposed to @Princessbusayo on Monday morning and she made me understood that she wasn't ready, the denial opened my mind to a lot of mistakes we are making in relationships today.

Don't mind me, I was just joking with her due to her response to my comment on her post but I saw things differently because it is not a proposal that should end with yes. It would hurt but that pain would be greater if you guys aren't prepared before going into the marriage.

It is everyone's dream to take their relationship a step further but it is something that must be done with caution.

These mistakes are the reasons why we see relationships crash some years after marriage and I think the first every male and female must ask themselves before proposing or accepting a proposal is that, am I ready?

The readiness would be judged by the following:

The world today is fond of doing things because others are doing it and it has landed a lot of people in problems, some were able to get out of it while some got stuck in it forever.

Love is not enough to keep a relationship today, there are lots of things attached that we are not taking seriously.

Compatibility:

What's the first thing comes to your mind when asked are you compatible with your lover?

I have seen people talk about their lover's character when asked about compatibility but it is more than that. Before proposing or saying yes to a proposal, there are health issues you must pay attention to.

Things like the Blood group, Fertility status, and others must be put into consideration before taking things too seriously.

These things must have been checked to avoid situations that would end up breaking the marriage in the future.

Ability to Endure and Tolerate:

Before proposing you must be sure you can endure and tolerate your lover's flaws because we are all imperfect. I think this is one of the top priorities to avoid everyday conflict in the relationship.

We see the issue of domestic violence every day on the internet, the inability to endure one another flaws is what results in quarreling and fighting in relationships.

Embracing each other differences.

We are born differently and raised by different people, we grow in different communities, we have different ways of life, we were taught different values, trained with different ideas and these things make us different.

They make us think differently and take different actions to same the same issues even though there are times when we reason alike. Our differences are enough to tear relationships apart and that's one reason why we must be ready to embrace our spouse's differences.

Been compatible doesn't mean there won't be differences, there will always be one but we must be ready to endure if we want to take relationships to the next level.


Aside from these points, there are things both gender must put into consideration.


For The Male...

Becoming a husband and a father is not a simple task, it comes with lots of sacrifices and once you make the move, you are in for it except the person has made up his mind to be an irresponsible person.

You must be ready to protect and support the family mentally, morally, physically, and financially.

You must be matured enough to handle a relationship else it would end with regrets.

For The Female

Females these days believe that they don't have much to do in a relationship, most of them believe it has to do with just been called a wife or mother. It is more than that because women are meant to be a man's supporters in marriage.

They have lots of tasks just like the male and the happiness of a family depends on the woman beautiful they are the bond that holds the family together. A lady who is not ready to be a mother and a wife at the same time shouldn't see marriage as a priority.


Both parties in the relationship are meant to support each other, the house chores don't have to be for the woman alone while the family finance doesn't have to be the man's duty alone, they are meant to boost each other effort.

The marriage proposal isn't something you should accept because your friends are married or because you want to boast about the ring, a wrong purpose can see you drown.

This is just a piece of advice and it has nothing to do with my plans, we must be sure of what we are getting into before taking that huge step.

It is a lifetime journey that brings lots of happiness, thanks for reading.

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3 years ago

Comments

We should be ready physically, emotionally, spiritually ♥️ I pray the best for you , you going to get there not now but in Gods perfect timing ♥️

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Thanks buddy, I really appreciate your wishes.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You deserve to found that girl ♥️

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hahaha. You caught me there. I thought she had said a NO........... Marriage is not child's play. There is need ro be psychologically prepared before going into it.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Lolz, you are very right sir. Experienced people like you can give us more lectures like this in an article

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Yes, it's true. Marriage is no joke. You become one as a family, so we should think about it over and over again.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

It requires deep thought before going into it.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Lol....so it was a joke. I am agree with you marriage is not only about being in relationship but its about accepting the several kind of responsibilities and for that we need to know the real meaning of it.The things you mentioned above are necessary for both male and female.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

At first I thought you were serious o, I was already feeling sorry for you 😂 But truly, marriage isn't something to just jump into, a lot of checks need to be carried out before you even think of proposing.

A lot of marriages are crashing these days because the couple rushed into it. Compatibility check is very important before diving into the world of marriage

$ 0.02
3 years ago

The title and intro were meant to steal attention, lots of checks need to be done to avoid rushing in and rushing out of marriage.

A lot of people won't admit it but people are truly making that mistake.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Even when the checks have been done and they see they aren't compatible, some people will still go ahead with the marriage. Why will a person with AS marry another AS deliberately and end up having SS children

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3 years ago

Oh my Gwad, you caught me! I will not forgive you for this 🤣🤣. I was just like , awnnnnn you're crushing on @Princesss busayo, and I got to know it's a joke....🤣🤣🤣

So many people fall into marriage because they want to feel among. Yes your mate are getting married but that doesn't mean you should jump into it and you end up having problem.

This kind of a thing leads to Marital instability, and Marital instability has an effect mainly on the children and it's also have effect in the community.

Checking of blood group is very important too, we should not be blinded by love if we don't want to experience hell on Earth, that's just the fact, you'll be face with the problem in the future.

This is indeed an article that can help those who are into relationship.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I guess that was a payback article, I truly like @princessbusayo personality. We must take precautions if we really want to have a happy home, I wonder if people still do this love is blind thing, everyone opens their eyes now before going into a relationship.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Shine your eyes very well, love is no more blind , it work with a 3D microscope to view everything, so as not fall into pit . One you fall, it will be very difficult to come out...... hehehehe Don't mind me , I'm too playful 🤣🤣

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Being ready to do something is ready matter alot not in only relationship but throughout the life. The thing you have suggested to assure before forward a relation are very necessary

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You are right, getting prepared for things matters a lot.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

"Things like the Blood group, Fertility status, and others must be put into consideration before taking things too seriously." are you kidding me? If that is something you consider to be a factor in deciding if you and your lover are fit for each other, then you're not. This should be talked about and considered AFTER you're married, but in the sense that you need to know it about each other for practical purposes. It should not even enter your thoughts when considering proposing or not.

The only real important questions you need to answer before you propose is:

"Can i live without the one i love?" "Do i want the one i love to be the parent of my children" "Do i want to share the rest of my life with the one i love" "Am I okay with being identified for the rest of my days as the husband of"

Because all other things will be conquered by your love. The final question, the one truly important one that makes all other questions redundant:

"Do i truly love the one that i love"

If you feel true love, and i doubt you have been fortunate enough to experience it if you give importance to blood groups, fertility and nonsense like that, than you know there's nothing you can do about it. You will love the one you love, no matter how incompatible you are. And if the feeling is shared by the one you love, than it is inevitable you will marry. True love is something that does not give you a choice in the matter. True love is the one that even if you desperately wished you did not love the one you love, you love her nonetheless. The love of the kind that makes you love someone and be with someone, even though being with her could get you killed.

And when you experience that... the questions and issues you mention and caution about..... they do not even enter your mind.\

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I get your point sir when deeply in love some things don't matter but these things we don't pay attention to can steal joy away from marriages.

Imagine two AS, getting married. There is a big probability of having a child with sickle and that's not fun. The stress of taking care of them can be very tough, I respect your opinions.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I agree with the compatability...., have been informed that one of the causes of disability among children is the incompatible blood something..,

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Yes, the blood group can be a big problem if not paid attention to.

Two wrong genotypes can give birth to a sickle cell and it is a big issue because they always have huge health complications.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

True..., before I was not aware of such things, but since I was informed, it's a thing to be considered before getting married 😁

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Yeah, it is why we need to always approach a marriage counselor. They will guide us about thing to consider, things to do, and others.

Marriage is a lifetime journey you must be fully prepared for.

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3 years ago

Trueness.. getting informed/ being aware is a must.., that's why we have a pre-marriage counseling ..

$ 0.01
3 years ago

After my painful breakup.. Someone patch my broken heart.. He even kneeled down to propose to me. But I rejected his proposal.. Not because I don't like him. But because I wasn't ready yet at that time. He came at the wrong time.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

A lot of people make the mistake of just saying yes to every proposal that comes their way, they don't care if they are ready or not.

It requires a mature mind to be able to turn down a proposal when not ready. I respect your decision and what was the guys reaction??

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3 years ago

It's okay to reject than to say yes and then she's not ready. you will have a hard time in the end if the result is that she doesn't care about you because she is not ready yet. Just move on if she doesn't want to, or wait for her.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Yeah, it is better to wait than having a difficult time later in the relationship. It is not like she doesn't love but it wasn't time for her to take things to the next level.

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3 years ago

Oh, you got me hooked up. 😂 No one should force what is not ready to be. Marriage is a life long commitment. Know what you are going into and be well prepared.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I am sorry about that, you are right. If the time is not right, there is no point pushing it if either of the two-party ain't ready.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank God I made a move to say No yesterday because I am not ready yet and besides we haven't known each other 🤣🤣🤣 I know it was a joke too.

Proposing and saying yes when you aren't ready is a wrong decision to take. All because she or he is going for it doesn't mean you should also take the train when both of you aren't ready for it.

All of these mentioned above should be considered and put into use before venturing into a lifetime contract with each other.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

😭 I am down because you rejected me but it is understandable because a lot of people say yes barely knowing their lover and at the end, they start having issues in the marriage.

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3 years ago

Omoo mama.who is that guy? 😅

$ 0.02
3 years ago

😅😅😅

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3 years ago

Hmmm truly love is not enough is some cases like this because it takes two to work it out but when the responsibility is too much on one head then the house won't settle or there won't be peace anymore

Am still waiting for the aso ebi o 🥴 so go and propose to someone else if @Princessbusayo did not accept you some one else will or you can come to me am still single and searching 🤣🤣🤣

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I am on my way to your place already. Leaving the responsibility of the family on just one person is terrible, anyone who isn't ready to support the other person shouldn't bother going into a relationship.

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3 years ago

Be fast about it ok Yeah that's true

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3 years ago

Its OK sir, maybe she's not ready yet, I know she love you so much howvwer she's not ready to engage on that type of relationship, there's a perfect timing for that. Don't asked her what's wrong, show her your love and sincerity, make her feel like she's the only one until the day comes that your both ready to enter in the world of marriage. It's true that both parties in family must support each other in order to main stability and healthiness of family, a woman should also help her husband financially and the husband should also help his wife in household chores.❤

$ 0.04
3 years ago

I love your advice, her rejection doesn't mean that she doesn't love me. If I am not in a hurry, I just have to wait until she is ready for marriage.

@princessbusayo I will patiently wait for you.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I don't know what kind of facts lie behind the reasons why your lover says no, but as far as I can observe from my environment, people, especially women, are moving away from marriage. They may have legitimate reasons. I'm not married yet, and getting married is not something I'm planning to do soon.

$ 0.01
3 years ago