Parenting requires skills, do you have them?

Parenting is a huge role and a very complicated stage in humans life, it is a stage many of us crave without evaluating how prepared we are for it and this unpreparedness of a thing is part of the results of the ugly things we are seeing out there happening with children being the culprits and victims. Isn’t it funny how people rush to become parents because their friends are having kids already, do you have what it takes or are you competent enough?

Every person's preparation for parenting shouldn’t start when you are expecting a child; you ought to have started before that time. I learned this from Patjules, doing it because you are expecting a baby makes you prepare in a rush which might automatically make you miss a lot of things in the process.

Parenting isn’t just about providing clothes, food, or sending kids to one of the most expensive schools out there; it involves morals, spiritual life, and even the relationship between parents and their children. Many of the immoralities we see out there today among children doesn’t mean they have bad parents but the public would end up blaming the parent for the child's behavior, do you know why?

It is because the parent lacks the basic parenting skills, that having a successful marriage doesn’t guarantee you to become a good parent; they are two different things we must understand. A child is a mirror of who you are so you have to put in efforts to make them a child people will look up to as a role model for their kids.

The topic says what would I have done differently as a parent but the truth is that there is nothing new to be done, we just have to upgrade how things are done.

As a parent, I will be disciplined not wicked.

Children's level of understanding is quite different from adults, there are things we see as a way of disciplining a child but it is pure wickedness to a child's understanding and this doesn’t help matters at all.

I love fruits a lot when I was a child; I do pluck unripe fruits and kept them till it gets ripe. The habit got the best of me and I was fond of disobeying the school that says we mustn’t pluck fruits from trees in the school, the law wasn’t meant for me.

I do sneak there with my classmate to pluck pears but we were caught one day, and the teachers brought us to the front of the school. My mom came to do something in the school and saw me kneeling, she came to ask what happened and I explained to her. I even begged her to help me talk to the teachers which she agreed but immediately she left, the teacher said "George, your mom told us to flog you more". I was shocked and was mercilessly beaten that day.

It was an act of discipline but wickedness to me because I felt there was nothing wrong with plucking the fruits. On a fateful day, I was throwing a big stick to pluck fruit as usual but I ended up injuring a boy. Blood was gushing from the side of his and he was rushed to the hospital, my mom said to me when you will ever understand that the way you pluck fruit is dangerous; it was then I realize that plucking the fruit wasn’t the problem but the way it was done could cause harm.

If they told me the reason why I shouldn’t pluck the fruit after beating me before, I would have understood better. A lot of parents beat their kids for every mistake and this makes children sometimes become wayward, disciplining them with love is what matters.

Sometimes, a discussion is okay but we overreact and these kids read a different meaning to it.

I will teach them God's word and not just go to church.

There is a difference between going to church and learning God's word, it is not enough for kids to just go to church. You must be sure that the things they are learning are having a good impact on them, the word of God is light that would brighten their path as they grow, it would be a guidance for them and it should never be done with force, make them see the reason to allow God lead them.

I won’t leave moral teaching to their teachers.

This is terrible mistake parents are doing, every parent must be in charge of their children's moral lives else it would end badly for them.

You can't expect a teacher do it all, some things must be taught by a parent, and failure to do that most times doesn't end well.

I plan to have a good relationship with my children.

Having a good relationship with your children would make them feel free to share everything going on in their life with you, that would help you know their shortcomings and you will be able to work on them successfully.

A child should see their parent as a confidant; they can seek help and advice from their parent instead of a stranger who can mislead them.

I won't restrict them to the Internet but ensure they aren't abusing it.

I started using the Internet at age 12, my geography teacher loves giving us research to do and we visit cyber cafe to do them. The internet is a powerful tool for learning but people are less concerned about that, I have seen parents say that won't allow their kids have access to the Internet because of the immorality they learn from there.

That's not the solution, I will give them access to the Internet but will ensure I know what they are doing with it. That would be difficult because kids these days are smart and as a parent, you have to be smarter without giving them the slightest hint that they are been monitored even with the limited time they are having to access the Internet.

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This post was written by me and first appear HERE, thanks for reading.