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Define your relationship.

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Avatar for George_Dee
Written by   393
5 months ago

I experienced a situation over the weekend, it didn't happen to me but I had every detail because my brother was involved somehow. I was pissed about the incident because I never expected such to happen from the guy who messed up, he is an adult behavior like a toddler and even some toddlers would do very much better than him.

It started on Friday evening when a woman called my brother, she happens to be his friend's mom. She sounded sad on the phone, we know her to be very energetic and jovial. My brother asked if anything was wrong and she said, a lot is happening. We were at the farm working so he had to put the phone on speaker and I was able to hear their conversation very well.


She called because of her son who is my brother's friend, he left home for some days and didn't return on the day he mentioned, he switched off his phone and was unreachable. She became worried and started calling his friends but no one knew his whereabouts so my brother was her last option but unfortunately, he doesn't know his whereabouts as well.

She mentioned that she had an accident on the day he left home, she couldn't even walk because her leg was badly injured and he wasn't bothered. My brother remembered that his friend mentioned on that same day that his girlfriend was ill so he suspected that he would be there.

I immediately said it was impossible because I didn't believe that someone would leave his mother who had a severe accident for his girlfriend who was feeling feverish.

The girlfriend has another option, her parents or friends could come to help her out but his mom depended on him because she lives with her. This same woman feeds him and provides shelter for him at the age of 25, it got me pissed knowing all these details.

My brother called his girlfriend and she stammered while answering that he wasn't with her, he didn't let her know that his mom called so he acted neutral but she said she would try to reach and tell him to call.


To my surprise, he called less than five minutes after and that has proven that they are together but he denied it as well but he didn't disclose his location.

The conversation went on, the guy came visiting on Sunday and I wasn't happy with him so I sat in my room but I could hear him and my brother thrashing things out. Of all people in the world, making your parents regret they raised you is a terrible thing to do.

When he left, my brother told me a lot of things and I was shocked. This guy has placed his girlfriend over the family, he would do whatever has to do with her first before even considering his family.

I got surprised because it looks like he has been charmed but that's not the case, I have heard stories of people being charmed in a relationship but I believe that such a thing will work on you if you refuse to define your relationship.

The guy has failed to define his relationship and it might not end well for him because he has rubbished the people he can run to if things go wrong in the relationship.

I further discovered that he is treating the lady like a god because she has a good job and he is jobless, it looks like he is pleasing her since he is getting things from her and that doesn't make him a responsible person. If he could treat someone who has taken care of him all his life that way because of someone he met less than four months, it means he can do the same to the lady.


We take a lot of things wrongly in relationships and it becomes difficult when we try to correct them in the future, no matter who you are it is certain that you will find someone who will fit your status so making someone a god because of the things you are benefiting from them or pretending to be what you are not is wrong. What if the other person stops doing the regular things that make you worship them, it means your love would definitely reduce or vanish.

Relationships should be for a neutral purpose which is loving one another and not loving someone for their status financially.

I remembered a time when my fiancee gifted me with a blackberry phone, I turned it down not because I had a better phone but because I wanted to be sure of where she got the money to buy it. I took the phone a month after I was sure she bought it from her saving and I think that's the way things should be.

People we meet in life have a role to play in life, our parents, lover, friends all have different roles, and not defining your relationship can make you place the wrong person as a priority.

Another thing is that not all kindness should be defined as love, some people are just meant to help you achieve some things in life but we allow this false feeling to grow because of the things that we can still benefit from them. If we fail to understand the feeling and define our relationship with people, we might end up regretting that we started the relationship.

I have been away for a few days due to electricity issues, it is affecting my business and draining me at the same time.

In the absence of electricity, I made roasted fish for dinner with charcoal. It has been a long and stressful day at my end and this should help me relax and have a great night's rest.

Remember the Pepper soup stuff I mentioned the other day? Something is cooking already, I will definitely update you guys so you can patronize me as well.

I missed you guys and will be going around the read articles after dinner, love you all.


Thanks for reading

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Avatar for George_Dee
Written by   393
5 months ago
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Comments

People tend to ignore certain things at the early stage of relationships, this causes problems later on as they wouldn't be able to change anything anymore- it would have been too late.

Speaking of electricity problems, I'm experiencing the same thing here. I'm currently at Ondo state. May I come join in devouring that roasted fish?

$ 0.02
5 months ago

You are free to come, bro, let prepare a fresh one and consume it together.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Where in Ikorodu do you stay?

$ 0.00
5 months ago

No matter what you are doing or what you have or where you have gotten to, family must be put first. If you come across any forms of danger, the family is there to help you out.

To be sincere, there is nothing wrong with taking care of your girlfriends or boyfriends, but the place they are to you is not same as where your families are to you. In whatever way, always put your family first

That guy is an idiot for ignoring his mum who has taken care of him for twenty five years. It's not easy to train a child from childhood and see him taking you for granted. The mum will feel so sad.

Running after money in a relationship is not the best. The girl in question might avoid him when the time comes because she is not gaining from him. And when this happens, he is going to call back to his family.

$ 0.02
5 months ago

I know how the mother feels, it can be very painful to see someone you are giving your all treat like nothing. I hope the girl breaks his heart so he can know the importance of family.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Glad to see you back!

Yes, there was a time for me as well when I put a relationship before my family and it was a big mistake. I was 19 and it was a learning experience - never again.

I'm sorry to hear of your electricity problems. We are going to start having outages here again soon as well. They are trying to do maintenance to one of our stations which is going to take 6 months. By taking that unit offline for maintenance the whole country is going to suffer, then when they finish with that one it will be another one for 6 months. It is going to kill the small businesses, but that is what happens when government institutions decide to steal the money instead of put it into maintenance.

What is causing your electricity problems? Is it just in your area or all over?

$ 0.02
5 months ago

The issue here is that we are paying $30 every month for 9hours of electricity for 5 days a week so the Landlord complain and it has been put off since then. We really don't know where this is going but it might take some time, do you use a power generator at your place.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Oh missed eating fish roasted using charcoal, we called that "inihaw" When it comes to your brother's friend ,well he is supposed to take care his mother rather than his girlfriend On the contrary does he really love his girl? Or maybe because he can have some benifits from her?

$ 0.01
5 months ago

Seriously I don't see him loving her that way for long, he would change once he starts earning and not depending on her again.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

That's what I thought!

$ 0.00
5 months ago

It's things like this that makes me want to believe that all those stories about girls using kayamata to trap men are true, how will someone willingly abandon his mother that is heavily injured to go take care of his girlfriend? Girlfriend o, not even wife. That's just too bad

$ 0.02
5 months ago

I don't believe in it as well because I wouldn't even give chance for me to be charmed, I don't think he is under charm influence. He just doesn't know what to put first in his life.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Family is a constant thing and even in the worst and good time they always be there for you. Friends come and go some stays but we should always prioritize family. Family before everything.

$ 0.01
5 months ago

Yeah, it should be family first because of trouble days. Friends would run but family will stay so we must take family things seriously.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

this is a story of rebuke to every child who is in a relationship with their partner. loving someone is necessary because in essence we will get married when the couple is suitable. but it must be remembered that family and parents are the main thing. If we think logically, what would happen if our mother didn't give birth to us or raise us, would we be where we are now? maybe not, so we have to respect them, sometimes love has blinded our eyes to make decisions, don't neglect your parents while they are still around because when they are gone forever we will regret it. life is only temporary so consider carefully.

$ 0.02
5 months ago

I don't think love is blind, people just shut their eyes to the right thing pretending not to know anything. Family should always come first no matter what because they will always be there to stand by you no matter what.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Your interpretation makes sense too, it's all up to you for the final decision. the spirit of this friend is very useful. good work

$ 0.00
5 months ago

The guy really needs to be spoken to because how can a responsible person choose someone else to his mother who gave birth to him/her. It is really wrong with what he did.

$ 0.02
5 months ago

I think he is sick or something, he would definitely regret it because he had violated the law that says, honor thy father and mother so that your days can be long on the earth.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Omo some guys self will just be behaving somehow, what if something bad had happened to him and the girlfriend was the one that did it, how will they find justice for him, there are limitations to temporary things because not all relationship lead to marriage

$ 0.01
5 months ago

He is not putting that into consideration, there is no assurance that they will be together so will cut his head to serve her meal.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

One thing that can make someone a fool forever is depending on someone and making him or her a god because of what they are getting from them. When you fail to define your relationship, it will later ruin you and making you regret. I really pity the guy because if the girl leaves him, that is it. Instead of finding a good job at his age and still not ashamed of being fed in his parent's house and to make the matter worse, placing the girlfriend over his family. Such wrong step.

$ 0.02
5 months ago

He is dumb and I don't think I can have anything doing with him again.

He shakes at the sight of the girl, he even ignored all his friends and I am sure the girl has another guy because she is not earning much from the information I have but he is not seeing it because he is not thinking straight. He feels dependant on her and he will regret it definitely

$ 0.00
5 months ago

Ofcourse he will. No lady of that type would stay with him and not have someone who loves her and can benefit from him too.

$ 0.00
5 months ago

This is too sad to hear, I have seen a lot of people who choose friends over family and that's totally wrong,its friend before family ...

$ 0.01
5 months ago

I guess you meant family over friends, I agree with you because only your family will stand by you on your worse days.

$ 0.00
5 months ago