Have you attended a kindergarten class when you were a kid? How does it feel? And when your teacher gives you a star, do you feel happy? Star means you did a very good job in your class, right?

For sure your mom was very proud and appreciated you. Your classmates would clap their hands as you have that star in your hands or in your paper 😍. The feeling was great isn't it? However I didn't went to kindergarten class and so I am just imagining given by a teacher a star and I feel happy 😊.

During my time we still don't have kindergarten yet. If you turned six years old, you can directly attend grade school. But my sister went to kindergarten, because I think kindergarten starts at year 1996, if I'm not mistaken😁.

Everytime my sister go to her class I always sit in😂. Although I am already ten years old that time the teacher still allow me to sit in their class if I had a chance. My sisters kindergarten teacher was actually my father's cousin and so it is also one of the reason why I can sit in to her class😂.

Anyway from their class I have witnessed why their teacher gives them a star and it was because they did a very good job on their class. I felt the happiness. How I wish I can also have that star 😂.

Anyway I came to this topic because I always felt that kind of happiness whenever I made a comment and at the end of my comment there's a star.

This is what I am talking about. That thing didn't really look like a star but for me it was. And base on my understanding, that star means you understand the main subject of the article(s) and the site gives your comment an appreciation as you did a great job. As we all know our contribution,(opinions and thoughts)are one of the most important thing for this community. It is to make the community to continue to grow not only for how much we can earn. Our opinions are also important to have an exciting interaction with each other. Through our contribution each and everyone of us here are helping each other to have a great relationship. We become a family. This is my understanding.

Anyway I am not saying that this star was really necessary in every contribution that we give to each and everyone's article, so please don't get me wrong, what am I trying to say is our efforts matters. In fact not all my comments always got a star but it doesn't mean I/we didn't read or didn't understand the article. Sometimes it really happened that we don't have any thing say😁. I hope I made myself clear here😅.

However this is just basically my own opinion. You can share your thoughts about how important reading and sharing opinions for the community, and I'll be glad to read it from you in my comment box.

So now, you may be asked, Why do I felt this kind of happiness with that simple thing? Am I bragging or showing off?

That's a big NO!

Well, Honestly I have so many reasons, but I wanna be honest that for the first time I felt being appreciated 😂. And so I am expressing my happiness. I never received a star nor being appreciated by my teacher when I am still student. All I received was humiliation. I think some of you know that already, as I already shared to you my past experiences. When I am still working, I also received some hurtful words from my boss as I always do a lot of mistakes. Their expectations was too high for me to reach as they want me toI be perfectly smart. Like one's they rise they hand I should know what they need 😂,but unfortunately I can't understand. Lol. And so just like the other people, they also think that I am dumb and so they started to abuse my weakness.

This is my reason that I wanted you to understand why I shared this feeling to you. That appreciation from the site, help me boost my confident. I can say that this community was the only community who never judge me.

Disclaimer:

This article isn't intended to discriminate nor to judge anyone. My point is, no one was born dumb, but humiliation, toxic society and perfectionism makes a person looks dumb.

So now allow me to express myself and how lucky I am that I've been part of this beautiful platform and how the community help's me to grow and boost my confident.

As what I have already confess in one of my previous article. I confess that I am a kind of a slow person. That means I am not smart like the others. I've been saying this repeatedly 😂. And so I have insecurities with my intellectual ability.

I wasn't born as a fast learner, and so after all the humiliation that I have already experience back then. From the people I know, to the people I don't know😅, I have already accepted that I am dumb 😊. Yes! I already accepted it.

I choose to accept that humiliation from others, not actually because I wanna look down myself. It was actually because it was a way easier for me to move on😁. It was one of my best way to cope up with my failure's. Because before when I was younger, the more I refuse to accept that judgement, the more I loses my confidence. The more I loses my trust to my self and the more I loses my self. Because everytime I tried to prove my learning ability to other people, the more I get a painful judgement. Those hurtful words are torturing me, emotionally and physically.

I keep on trying to tell myself that I am not dumb, I am just slow. But the more I fail. The more I got disappointments and the more I hurt myself. So, I began to keep my words to myself. I started to feel afraid to let other people hear my voice (opinions). I distance myself to everyone as I felt that I don't belong to their world.

Honestly, I would admit that at my younger age I suffer from depression with all those humiliation. Sounds weak right? Well, who can judge me? The society is harsh, lol.

I felt pity for my self, I felt that I'm literally a big loser and I started hating myself. I even asked myself why I am so dumb and why do I found all things so complicated though they are just simple? I felt that there's no any glance of a better future for me. I'm a zero confidence and that was because I am dumb.

However, as I age I understand that sometimes we don't need to prove ourselves to anyone. Sometimes we don't need to explain ourselves. We must not allow humiliation to win over our emotions and don't allow depression to drown us And don't allow those hurtful words to lose your self.

As I continue to grow, I always told myself that I might not that smart, but I'm always ready to learn and I will grow from my own experiences. I know I can. I don't need to prove it to anyone. However Empowering those words are Honestly difficult. I have already live half of my life being locked inside my dark room and when I tried to step outside from my comfort zone, I felt that I am being burnt.

Painful judgement and humiliation are flashing back in my memory. I was scared to be out from my comfort zone. I was scared to fail and I was scared to try. But if I'm gonna stay inside my comfort zone, I have no air to breathe and for sure I'm gonna die with regrets. And I don't want it. No want it for sure.

So I came to choose between my fears and dreams and eventually I choose to conquer my fears. I slowly opened myself to other people. I socialize as I wanted to be a better person for myself, not for others and not for the society's acceptance but for my own growth.

I joined this community, I tried to rebuild that confident from within. Although I was full of hesitation and fears at the beginning, I still did try. I starts believing in myself and most specially to my ability. It took me seven months to gain a little amount of confident. I know it's a bit long, but this is me 😅. Now, I can say that I am now free. I am now free from that nightmares as I can now freely express my thoughts and share my opinions without any fear of being humiliated and judge. The kind of freedom that the society has deprived from me, a long time ago was now given to me by read cash community. However I wouldn't say that I am totally open nor confident, because sometimes I felt scared. But I don't have any plan to turn my back anymore. I don't wanna see my old self. Not anymore 😊.

That is why every time I had that star I can say to myself, that this time I am already ready to grow. I know that this time I can. I can now socialize, I can now express my self and I can know trust myself and it was because of this community.

This is one of the reason why I am always grateful to be part of this community. As you, each one of you here lifted me up from being down. Your thoughts, your beautiful opinions and inspiring words reborn me. This community release me from my hurtful past.

I can say that somehow I am now a way far from my old self.

Closing thoughts:

If you were like me, who had an insecurities with intellectual ability, don't be afraid to try. Join me and grow with me. We weren't dumb nor stu***, were just slow. In a perfect number of experience we can grow, just don't hold back because of the hard times, rejection, toxic society etc. It is part in our journey to grow. Don't be afraid to express yourself. It's fine if it's takes time for us to understand the situation, the importance was we still did try to understand it. It's fine if our grammars was poor, atleast we voice out, we share our thoughts and we try to contribute. It's fine if sometimes we struggle to deliver our message clearly, its a way better than to remain silent and be left behind. It's fine to fail, but it is not fine to stay in the same failures. We were still special. Cheer up!

Lead image source edited using Canva app.