January 09, 2022 Blog#117 no.07

Everytime that I read an article about their experiences and good memories from their high school life, I cannot deny that I felt envy to the author as she/he has a good memories to remember way back then. As whenever I remember mine, I felt pain. All I remember are those bad things that had happened and I had experience from that school in the city. If only I listened to my mom, maybe I won't experience those embarrassment and bullies and I won't lose my self confidence. But eventually everything is now only a memory and those experiences already give me a lesson. And since it happened 18 year's ago, I think it's time for me to move on.

Allow me share you my high school life that I can consider as my worst nightmare 😅.

The beginning.......

After I graduated Elementary, my parents decided to enroll me to the nearest public school in our place. They choose that school because most of our neighbors children's graduated from that school and also the school is far from the city, and the expenses was quite cheaper.

When I entered high school as a freshmen student, everything was so exciting. All the students from my first school are friendly and nice. I can even make friends with boy's without any judgement. I can play with them, hang out with them and no judgement. All the teachers are nice, and they are also very considerate, and my classmates are nice too.

The only reason that I don't like from that school is, it is far from the city, I can't get a chance to roam around as the place has nothing but bunches of forest tree's. Another reason that I don't like about that school was it has a bad image, as gossip spread that the school is full of prostitute's, I wonder why but the gossip is bad for me as a student. I also get disappointed with the grade of my general average that I get in my report card and even received an special awards which I think I don't deserve. Yes, I don't deserve them, because I am not that smart, honestly I'm just an ordinary student who loves to play than to study 😅. When it comes to our class discussion I don't really participate unless our teacher have to call my name. I only participate in some other activities if it is for my grades.

While I'm studying to that school, I feel envy to my cousin's who are studying in the city. They're uniform are much prettier than mine, lol. I'm a little ambitious at my younger age as I also wanted to experience studying in the city and I also wants to wear a pretty uniform too.

Before the school year end I decided to asked my parents if they can let me to study in the city. I talked to my father first, i asked his permission if I can transfer and study in the city, because I know I can have his permission immediately, unlike to my mom😅 I'll be in a big trouble 😂. When I get my father permission I was so happy and excited, as I am imagining that I will become a student in the city. When I tried to ask my mom's permission, she immediately disagree, as what I have expected she didn't give me her permission. She don't want me to study in the city as all she knew that if I'm going to study in the city I can't concentrate with my studies, as there's a lot of bad influence and distractions there. I don't understand with my mom during that time 😅, I'm still a kid.

And since I'm a little bit stubborn, I still continue with my plan and no one can stop me to transfer😈.

When the school year ended, even without my mom's permission I took all my papers from my old school. I returned all the books and make my clearance, as I am really determined with my decision.

But when my mom figured out what I did, she was really mad at me. She gets mad at my father as well, because she knew that I can't have that confident to pursue my decision if I don't have my father's back. I can even hear them arguing because of it, and my mom tried to dared me, that if I don't want to continue my studies in my old school she won't send me to school anymore 🙄. My mom is kind, but she's also strict to us😅.

When the enrollment came, my cousin told me that I should go to their school to take the exam with her and get the admission if I pass. I was really nervous and excited for that day as I am going to see the city but I need money for my transportation and my father wasn't home. I tried to talk to my mom and ask her if I can have some money for my transportation, but she gets mad at me 😂. She told me that I'm not going anywhere as she won't give me money, unless if I'm going back to my old school to enroll myself 😅. I was disappointed with my mom that time, but of course I still love her😅.

I went back to my cousin and told her that I can't go with her as my mom didn't give me money. When my cousin left, I was wondering if, should I still pursue my wants to study in the city or should I just follow my mom? I keep on thinking of which decision should I follow, as I know that I can't afford to support my studies if I can't have my mom's permission. I don't have money, and I'm just 14 year's old, what can I do with that age if my mom won't support me?

to be continue.........

All photos from this blog including the lead image are all from: Unsplash