"Felling like I have a broken wings"

Hello everyone it's me again, how's everyone doing? I wish you're all doing well and everything's fine. So far I am good.

So yesterday I didn't get a chance to write an article because of exhaustion. I am so bothered with the condition of my brother and I'm stressed so I can't focus in one topic. I have so much in mind and that allows writer's block to distract me. Honestly I don't like, that negativity takes over me, because it made me feel hopeless and weak. But it's really hard not to get affected with the situation most specially if it's about your family. My family is my weakness and at the same time my strength as well.

So yesterday my brother sent me an update about the condition of his hand. If you could still remember, last Monday I wrote about the feeling of being the first daughter in the family and how much I care with my siblings.

I told my brother to see the doctor so he can get a proper medication, as I don't like that they would only rely to the power of faith healer.

Then last Tuesday they went to the hospital and this is the prescription that the doctor give him.

Then yesterday, which is Thursday, I was actually expecting for a good news from him. But unfortunately I received the opposite, and that triggers my anxiety. The medicine that the doctor give him didn't help. His hand even got worsened, and so they will be going to go back to the doctor today to have the surgery. Because the doctor said it's needed to avoid infection. I got so stressed because they need some funds for the expenses and I can't give, since I don't have. I don't have work and it's really hard for me that I can't help them in time's like this. I already give them the last amount that I have, but I know the amount is not yet enough.

You know, it's really hard if you can't help. It feels like you have a broken wings. You can't do anything but just to listen to their rant's and it's really hard, most specially that I used to help them before and maybe this is the reason why I feel like this. I can't help not to feel hopeless because they need me but I can't do anything to help them. How I wish I still have a work.

Anyways, some people really believe that my brother needs a faith healer, not a doctor. Because his hand looks so different now even after taking all the medicines that he has. I just can't show you a clear photo because I don't wanna disgust you. But they already went to the faith healer last Sunday and nothing happens. His hand still sore and it's still painful to my brother.

So today is the schedule for my brothers surgery, and they will be at the hospital right after the kids go to school. I hope things will be alright and help will be in their way.

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Anyways this is all for today and I apologize for this rant. I just need to express myself just to release some thoughts. I don't have any intention to look myself pity here, hopefully you won't misunderstood me.

Thank you for reading.

The photo attached are mine. Lead image was from Unsplash.com