Lesson I learnt from being divorced

It took me time before I decide to finally write out my mind concerning my divorced marriage and what I learnt was that “Don’t Get Married To Prove to them that You Love Someone" it really hurt me because I never had someone advise me or to tell me this, I learnt this just 3 months into the marriage

One of the main reasons I ended up getting married earlier than I thought was because of the excessive pressure from the woman I was with at that time at first I was pretty satisfied being in a non married courtship which she also love at some point in our relationship and i try as much as possible to be financially stable before getting married to her. As time goes on she starts questioning me and at every chances she get, she tries to tell she is no longer okay with this anymore.

As time goes on it turned into a heavy implication that I needed to show my love through marriage. The first question I asked her was that why do you want to get married and she told me. And she answered

• I love you

• My parents are really disturbing me at home and I can't wait to leave

• Being alone really sucks. And what sucks even more is that my friends keep telling me “But no one is going to be happy being with me if you can’t be happy being by myself"

I was shocked when she told me this but being in my early 20s and I don't have experience in relationships and she was also my first love, so it made it easier for me to fall for her manipulative idea, and ultimately giving in to the idea. I persuaded myself that I might probable marry her at the nearest future anyways so I accepted.

That become a huge mistake from my part, it doesn't make a difference what age you are, how handsome or beautiful you are, the amount of affection you've got or developed for your partner shouldn’t be utilized as a device to extort or blackmail you right into a significant issue like marriage. I learnt it in a difficult manner that I shouldn’t have given in to a someone else’s insecurities.

From my heart I'm telling you Getting married isn't just any joke I never knew till I entered. It’s a choice which can have side effects on you for your entire life if you jumped into it both emotionally, mentally, and additionally financially. Don’t ever feel intimidated or urged to leap in earlier than you actually need to.

As the marriage continues into the the 10th month we started having issues, she always complain, what she doesn't do before she started doing it like going go the night club attending night parties, coming home drunk and wasted and at this point I discovered “Not Having Kids Can Be A Blessing in disguise" because I knew this marriage is not fit to have children. For married couples the first thing they think of after getting married is to start having kids the proper way. But I didn't because I found out fast enough that the person I'm married to now is not living in a right and healthy life and which may have effect on my children, imagine my children seeing her drunk everyday and if she maltreat them also..... so I tried avoiding bringing up my child in the mess I caused which was this marriage.

One day I walked up to her and try to tell her I don't like what was going on and that was when she told me if I'm not ready to let her be and continuing doing what she love that she would leave, I thought it was a joke at first until i started seeing her with guys, she left her job and i knew the relationship is at the edge if crumbling.

So many couples have a fantasy of beginning a new cycle of relatives and need to begin having kids proper away once they get married. I discovered that despite the fact that there have been temptations to start having kids with my ex-wife early on in our marriage, in the long run the option of not having kid changed into really the proper one for me because I don't have any attachment with her since we divorced, just imagine we had a kid it would be hard for me to leave her because I knew the importance of both parent raising up a child.

When I got divorced, it wasn't easy but it was still the better choice for me and I'm okay with it that “It’s OK To Be Divorced At A Young Age"

I keep in mind this story when I was a quantity surveyor, so I had this construction work with a female client and after the completion of her work she asked me was I married.......I told her everything and how I turned into getting divorced.......And she said....“Wow, you forgot about it so fast and moved on!”

Obviously she thought I never loved her but she had no idea what I was into at that moment and I was so young then that was my first relationship and I tried my possible best to change her but everything was in vain.

Things have changed is over 2 years I saw her last and I acknowledge that I was so fortunate to get out of that abusive relationship.

I have heard stories of guys getting into early marriage and it doesn't suit them well but they don't want to get out if it because they regard it has failure but i’m right here to inform you that divorce doesn’t mean failure. Divorce can keep your life back together, Divorce can open your mind. Divorce can train you a way to be a higher companion for a person else down the road.

Getting Divorce doesn’t need to be the end of the world. It may be the start of an entire new one, give love a chance and see what will happen. It was a hell of experience for me but I'm here today happy with 3 kids and a beautiful young woman.

Thanks for reading ❤

It was really emotional writing this and I hope you find it interesting.

Sir @Fexonice1 thanks for the sponsorship I really appreciate thanks for the support.

Make sure you check out my wonderful sponsors they've been encouraging me a lot thanks to them I had the courage to write this.