What a week.

I started my July, full of positivity and enthusiasm. I meditate and pray for peaceful and smooth days coz it's my birth month. I want to start the midyear right. But life is full of surprises, situations that we can't control, and the first 13 days of July is a hell ride for me.

This is all about how my day went these past few days, a nonsense post for some, apologies for that, I just want to write all of my emotions, what I've been through and how I cope with difficulties here.

Everything started when my 4hrs deep work schedule was ruined because I don't feel well physically. I started doing Surya Namaskar Yoga and I can say that it really gives me so much energy before I start the deep work. It's okay at first but last week after my yoga session, I can't focus on doing my deep work. I'm so sleepy to the highest level, I had enough sleep though. I tried hard to follow my schedule and give my remaining energy and got failed. I gave in and just slept, I wasn't able to work that day. My body was not cooperating and for 3 days it's just a cycle. I don't know but I suddenly unproductive and all I wanted was to sleep. I'm not talking much at home and even in the online world. I wasn't able to visit here in read cash too. It feels like my life is at pause at that moment. I'm struggling for some reason that I'm not sure of. Maybe it's a hormones or I don't have quality sleep. Though I had enough sleep if you're going to count the hours, but it's not that a deep sleep, I woke up easily, and it affects my performance the next day.

I'm fighting this unproductiveness for a week, then another situation occurred. My mom asked me for some money to be used in our home in Bulacan. It's still under construction, the stairs and the floorings are not yet done, the tiles are not yet installed. I'm struggling with my finances lately, my account in noise is currently in the zero zone for almost a month, my earnings there is a big help for me. But well, that's life. There are things that out of our control and we just have to accept them and move on. There's an advantage actually, I just chose to look in the bright side of it. I have more time to focus on business and on myself because honestly, I loved noise so much that it became my social media and I'm so active when my account was still okay. Back to my mom, I told her where will I get the money. I don't have much too. I was so stressed and my heart breaks as well. For me, the most painful part is when I don't have enough to give for my parent's request. I wasn't able to sleep that night. I cried and was disappointed with myself. But keep on telling myself 괜찮아-Gwenchana (it's okay) while tapping my shoulder. It's my habit every time I'm struggling with different situations in life.

In God's grace, I was able to send some money to my mom, it's not that a huge amount, but it's more than half of the amount she asked. I want to give more than what she asked but I can't coz I don't have an extra budget as of now.

I thought that I can move forward with no stress after that but Nah, the Universe is playing with me. Our printer that I'm using with our business doesn't function well. Actually, 3 months ago, I already noticed that it's not okay anymore, but because buying a new one is not my option, I fixed and used it for some orders. I even opened it and clean the printer head. I succeed in fixing it but not the 100% potential of the printer. After few days when I tried to use it again, I know that maybe we need to replace it already but because I'm still hoping, I clean the printer head again but I failed this time, I accidentally pour some cleaning oil in to the wire in printer head area (I forgot the exact term) and our printer didn't open anymore, I think it's the power supply. I temporarily delist some of our products in shopee because of the printer. Another stressful and hopeless moment, I'm mentally exhausted to be exact. The next morning I moved on, coz we still have products that don't need a printer, but during the production, I was so shocked coz while I'm using our cutting machine, it started to smell. I think the motor had those burning smells. What a nice world to live right? hahaha. I'm trying to ignore my problem with the printer then the Universe gave me another problem.

It's really a hell week. I'm tired of thinking about what to do. I'm tired of all these sh*t, but because I have to do something, I moved on again the next day and bought a new printer for installment. For our cutting machine? I don't know yet, I really need a break from these roller coasters of emotions.

I know that this too shall pass. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

I wasn't able to visit my favorite writer's here lately because I'm really not in the good shape, I want to read their articles when my mind is already clear so I can fully understand their thoughts and articles because that's what they deserved.

Thanks for dropping by. Stay safe.