Staying true to my identity

I must confess that I have been living a double life for the past 1 year. Not so much because I wanted it that way, but circumstances pushed me in the direction where I did not really want to be.

I have been having some struggles with my faith, since I barely have enough time to focus on my primary assignment, the job that has took me from my home land to a far away city fully sponsored.

When I started writing, my purpose was to establish myself on a niche about my faith, and issues related to what I do in real life. But, I gradually deviated from the line, and follow popular demand and trending topics and subjects, all for the hunt for a big payout.

I succeeded in getting the big payouts quite a good number of times, but, not without a cost. This may seem funny to you, but I urge you to read on to know why I said that.

A verse from the Holy book says "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". And what does the Holy book further say? "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaketh". I discovered that my success and popularity in blog, on social media, and online activities have overshadowed what I do in real life.

The time for study and meditation to broaden my spiritual capacity has been replaced with researching technical crypto subjects to write articles on while hunting for a few almighty bucks. This has so much impaired my vision about spiritual things and affected my proficiency in teaching the word of God as a serving pastor.

The night hours I would be spending in studying and prayers, I now spend them chasing almighty dollars. The days and weeks that I should spent doing spiritual work in church, I now spend them hopping from one platform to the other looking for new earning opportunities, while at the same time writing and volunteering to manage social media forums and groups.

Why am I writing this, you may be asking?

Blogging is good when you you are doing it full time without any other obligations in the real world. And, it's more efficient when you blog around the things you do in real life.

Blogging as a crypto writer will turn you into a crypto dude. You don't have to tell people stories, you must experience it yourself to have something meaningful to tell people. And, getting involved take much time than you would have thought about. Gradually, you become immersed in crypto investing and started thinking crypto all days.

Investing in a Defi token for staking and farming is not a thing for people who have something serious going on for them in the real world. Much time and attention is needed for monitoring and following up on your investment for profit maximization. Anyone who invested in a token for the purpose of staking or farming and forgot about it, would definitely lose money, because people can dump on you anytime.

That's where I got myself trapped. Since smartBCH was launched, I went into the decentralized finance with full force, investing in several tokens with staking and farming rewards. Spending days on end on telegram groups to keep myself informed about the projects I invested in, while at the same time keeping a vigilant eye on my investment. This is time consuming, and required all your attention, and eventually, all you think about is the investment. Now and then, you are there checking if anything has changed that needs your actions.

Cryptocurrency can give you much gain, but it can also give much pain. I have seen the both sides of crypto. I made huge gain from my investment in smartBCH projects, but the pains of losses overshadowed those gains. The more you loose, the more you want to find other ways to recover the losses. This got you more immersed into the crypto dream world, and make you more useless in your real world pursuit.

Do you think I should put a stop to all these crypto madness and face mppy real world pursuit?

I remembered two years ago, when my addiction to social media was getting a hold on my spiritual life. At that time, my wife called me to order and I stopped all my online activities for a period of 3 months. I stopped writing, stopped visiting Facebook, telegram groups, and WhatsApp groups. The time helped me to recognize my life and focus on my real life.

But, now, things are different. I have put my hands in so many things such that pulling out of them would lead to two things; going out in losses, and disappointing those who are looking up to me in the virtual world.

In all these, I have to think about my life, which inspired the writing of this article. I am becoming more useless to the people who are looking up to me as a guidance and leader in the real world. I am now only bearing the title without the capacity to function in the office that I am known for. This is my dilemma, to pull out from the things that are taking my time from giving attention to the things that will make me useful to the people who are looking up to me in the real world, or continue chasing the dollar on every new online platforms.

I know becoming more useful in the real world will not give me any financial reward, but it will help me be the best in my calling, and also build a stronger relationship with the people I am leading.

At this point, I am ready to count my losses and take a bow from most of the things I have put my hands into. This also means I will start writing with much flexibility and on subjects around my real life. It's time to stop chasing the dollar and start rebuilding the broken walls in my calling. If what I write from these days hence do not earn me the dollars so be it.

This is my life, and this report is true.

Thanks for reading.