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Repeating activities on daily basis feels like I am a robot. A robot that has been programmed to do the task repeatedly every day, nothing new just repeating the cycle. The only difference is that I felt different emotions every day, unlike robots they don't feel anything. I get annoyed, angry, sad, excited, happy, and confused while robots are not.
I think all stay-at-home moms feel like this, sometimes we don't feel ourselves anymore because we are fed up doing house chores, taking care of the kids and husband. We forget that we are also humans that also need attention and care because we are so busy giving our full attention to the family that tends us to forget in including ourselves that we also belong to the family. From the moment we woke up, we will start doing the chores, and even if we will be asleep or take a nap if there is a need for our attention we will wake up no matter how much we wanted to take a rest. We are almost on an on-call duty 24/7.
Stay at home moms don't have day offs too, we looked out for the family 24/7. That is why sometimes some mommies are getting paranoid, especially the new moms because they are having a hard time adjusting. The funniest thing is that our efforts are sometimes not being appreciated because they think it is just normal, that we are not doing extraordinary things that it is our duties that don't need to be recognized. It's as if we don't deserve to be appreciated because we don't have a career just a plain housewife. It's as if we are not allowed to have rest, as if we don't get tired as literal robots do. It feels like there's nothing great about taking full responsibilities watching over the house to maintain and balance the ambiance to be called a "home".
Whenever kids got sick or some accident happens, they will bluntly ask "Why does it happen? What did you do here? Why is the kid got sick? Did you not attend to him properly?" It sounds like mocking, mocking that you are incapable that is why negligence occurs. It feels like it's our mistakes that the kid got sick or involved in any accidents, it sounds like we wanted it to happen because we neglected their welfare.
When the kids are so naughty and accidentally bump their heads in the corner and got little bruises while you are busy washing the dishes they will ask "What happens to his head? did you not watched him out? how come this happened?". It feels like it's our mistake that they were hurt by their actions.
When the kids misbehave and throw tantrums they will murmurs "that are the effects of not paying attention to the kids and not teaching them good manners" while you are having a hard time to balance your time because the kids only have one year age gap from their siblings and there are three or more of them, while you are alone nursing and watching them.
When we cannot finish our task they will ask "what did you do here all day? why haven't you done the task I wanted you to finish?". When the house is messy and untidy, they will ask "Don't you know how to clean? what did you do all day that you can't even clean the house?". When we say that we are tired they will say " Why don't you take a rest for a while?" like really? they even question why we are unable to clean the house or finished the task on time, so you think we still have enough time to take a rest?.
Some husband sounds hesitant when their colleagues asked "Is she your wife?" after seeing you with a lousy shirt and messy hair because you don't have enough time to take good care of yourself to look good. After all, you are busy all day. Some even hesitate to answer "What is your wife's career?" "Nah, just a plain housewife" like really "just?" If we only have a choice we would like to be a career woman than staying at home boring us to death and making us like a robot doing things repeatedly without taking a break. Some will be ashamed because their wives became fat or thinner. After all, we don't have enough time to get back our figure. Sometimes we are not even treated as a wife but as a maid.
This is dedicated to all stay at home mommies that felt neglected just because they are a stay at home moms. Less appreciated because they cant contribute to the financial aspects of the house. Feeling worthless because they can't do better in society's eyes.
This is my mom inlaw's point of view voicing out her frustration to me sometimes when she's being neglected by her husband, she was treated less worthy and is not appreciated.
I felt like a robot too sometimes, to bring back my human sense I pamper myself and watch movies to feel myself again, buy myself gifts or go to the spa (but not now, the pandemic isn't over). That is why I don't want to have a lot of kids, I might die early. I also don't want my firstborn suffer from babysitting her siblings instead of enjoying her childhood, I don't want to repeat the history that it feels like my childhood was stolen because of responsibilities which are supposed to be not mine. But stay at home moms in this generation is different, we are now into multitasking and find ways to have our little income even if we only stay at home.
Treat your wife better, there's a saying "a happy wife is a happy life" pamper her sometimes, help her with the house chores and help attending kids if you are free. Don't let your wife carry the burden of molding your kids, to grow up in the right manner. Help your wife you both are responsible for your family.