I long to have freedom from my in-law, they're not bad people it's just that I want some space of my own without having them around all the time. When my mom decided to go home in our province I go along with her.

It's been almost 3 and half years that I see four corners of my in-laws house everyday. I think mostly doesn't like to stay with their in-laws for the rest of their lives due to privacy reasons and other stuff to consider.

No matter how much I wanted to have our own house my partner cannot afford yet, all he was saving as of now is our wedding. I don't want him to spend a lot on it but maybe he also wanted to have memorable wedding since it only happen once.

Just because I want freedom that means I have to spend

Now that I finally breathe from living with my in-laws as I come along with my mom in our province, I have to spend every now and then for our food. Aside from that I also bought all the stuff in the house since we started from zero as in no things such as bedsheets, blankets, kitchen utensils, rice cooker, heater, gasul and etc aside from electric and water bill.

My mom and my siblings doesn't have income so I have to cover everything, it's not that I am complaining because this is I WANT, I just realized that sometimes FREEDOM IS COSTLY.

Just like when we were younger (teenager)

When we were younger we wanted to have freedom from our parents because they nag all day long, it suffocate us and we long to have freedom.

Freedom to do what we want without them interfering and without nagging of this and that.

But then we cannot simply have it when we are still dependent with them because we cannot afford freedom.

Freedom means TO LIVE ON YOUR OWN. When you live on your own, you have to provide all your needs such as food, house rent and all the bills you have to pay.

Therefore FREEDOM is costly.

On my side it is more expensive since I have to feed all mouth in the house (siblings- 2sisters 1 giant brother, mother, aunt and my niece)

Yet some Mariteses are saying “What? Galing sa Manila yung mama wala sila pera?” or “Ano, asan na ba yung seaman na asawa ni Eybyoung?” but I don't really mind other people's opinions about me or about us, because in my point of view people who keep critisizing others without analyzing their own critics before flaunting it are IGNORANT.

I haven't sold my BCH intended for my mom's capital since the market really shitting me, not just me but all of us.

Some people didn't think that I run out with fiat as I spent all of the stuff in the house, buying stuff in here are very expensive than in city.

I am not ashamed of my situation, nor I mind people who think I am in bad situation because I had a family without establishing first as I believe we will come to that as long as we keep striving. Nothing is impossible for people who are hard working.

Closing Thoughts

I can go back to my inlaw right away if I am scared spending a lot but I won't do that unless I can see that I already helped my mother establishing her sari-sari store, that's the only way I can help her. I can't bear to abandon her without having stable source of income or she'll get back to work on farms, knowing the heat of the sun these days can cause heat stroke. My siblings are not like me, sadly they don't think so much about our situation maybe because they are not mature yet.

I envy those students blogger in here because they are willing to find money on their own just to lessen the burden of their parents, my siblings isn't like that. Although I understand because we were away with my mother causing them to care less of family situation as they were use to live without us physically.

I just hope they'll mature later on and help my mother and let them have compassion with our family that was broken.

I also want to breathe for a while with my in-laws presence, again they don't bully me. I just wanted to feel the freedom of being myself without minding their presence even if it means I have to spent a lot of my upcoming earnings.

After all, hard earned money are meant to be spent and it's not a waste if you spent it for good cause.

So I apologize, this time I decided not to have any Christmas events for the community sponsored from my own wallet because I am spending a lot lately. Although I did plan for it but, I really need extra penny these days, except for the fund raising campaign I did for AxieBCH scholars who are affected by typhoon Odette.

Thank you for reading!

Image is mine, model is me XD.

Date Published: December 21, 2021