The first day before Xmas (1/25): I missed someone but not my ex.

The freshness of the green memories still presented in my cabbaged head. I looked upon the saved data in some secret drive within my cerebellum and still, the file was within, like cloud storage that ranging my mission to fulfil. Imagine just imagining what was happened and surely they will come again in another moment of time. I just missed someone but she wasn’t my ex.

December first and should we start singing “on the 1st day of Christmas I missed someone that closed me, oww did you get the rhyme? Because I did. The video of cold air was capturing my inner self and it feels like a blanket becomes thinner as the days pass. Maybe I should get some warmer or should I add another?. We don’t have snow and I am not in a cold space. The cold will interrupt my sleep, and I only get some time for my body clock has rust inside.

I missed things and all I could do is to remember. I also missed my ex but not the thing LOl. The thing I missed is the real drama of December.

Young boys in my time are always excited when December comes. We always wait for the news to end so they will announce how many days left before Christmas. Yeah Kiddo like me wanted to see some proof that I am not dreaming and I am standing.

We never had any Christmas decoration within a Christmas, I remember my time I like seeing the Christmas tree of my friends for I wished atleast we could also had one. But my family afforded could rather be in food and some more foods. The lights and the colourful small pigment bulb was amazed me when I walked alone and see the houses filled within. We never get that, but I never said we won't have that in future.

But the days and older me come in life. I thought more clear that having a light will only cause electricity bill to bloom LOL, that’s christmass tree could be just anything that could have small decorations. For money could be given in a better purpose rather than in decorations and light. I don’t disregard or uplift myself. If you could afford one then do it, my family needs more than lights. That’s what's in my head. I just missed the day I once dreamed and jealous to others house but now I could understand the reason why I must not.

Planning and attending Christmas pasties are also on my list. As the pandemic starts the usual parties and activities wasn’t that fine and looked more exciting. I just stunt and raised my eyes brows that last year the Christmas party was held online, via a zoom conference. Okay, not so good right?

I missed my ex-classmates whom with me, planning what will happen at our End year celebration. That’s how they cast “end year” for some group of people who doesn’t want the idea of December 25. The food and activities, the exchanged gift that some random things to hold.

That’s the time were all students will be gathered and become excited. Meeting full of ideas of what should be brought and who will bring it. I missed those days that I will stay quiet so they won't notice me and give me an assignment of what food I should bring. We were nothing in financial in my boyhood. I don’t want to cause a problem for my mother thinking about where we should get money to pledged food. Again as I remember the time it makes me more thankful that as time goes as by.

I was also once a boy who cried because I don’t have a new shirt during the school Christmas celebration. Why have we been in that state? My father's fault for he just sold out a piece of land and galore with his mistress. Again that’s the file I mentioned you in my intro. Yeah, not all good I remembered Christmas is. No filter. as I grows older, I realized again wearing an unbranded and simple shirt was fine.

I was a cabbage head for the memories was still fresh within me during the first drop of the December vibe. We tend to reminisce and makes things more clear as time flies. We missed our ex, that’s is our old self. I missed my old me but I also want what was in me right now.

Pandemic and Nobel strains will evolve. Let's accept that Christmas this year still wasn’t looked like the past events like in our childhood, but still a gift. Thank you for reading…