MAY 2, 2022

Fact thing about me is that I value friendship very much; I could offer even myself just for a friend whom I know is real and genuine. I could do impossible things to keep that relationship, and I could even change what I am just for friendship. Is it martyrdom? I guessed it's not. Because I am also hidebound from looking for friends, we could say that everyone could be a friend, but only a few could be real friends. So, when I knew and felt that someone was honest in what he showed if they showed nothing but real things to me, I must keep them no matter what.

I have the same feeling with my friend, who has been with me for four years now. She gave me nothing but unconditional love and the best of things. She couldn't speak, but you could feel happy with me; she knew how to thank me for whatever I could give to her. This friends of mine that I lost, but I had the things within me, the feeling that she never let go, she was still there or just me that not yet moved-on for every morning I am looking for her that wagging her tail waking me up in my bed. I can't forget the name of when I fed her sibling's dog, and I still say her name.

Upon losing my phone, I also lost lots of memories. I also loved taking pictures with my friends, men, and animals. I lost those pictures inside the phone. Then I was bored and just looking at the ceiling. It just popped out, and I realized that I had a photo. I keep it somehow. I tried to look on Facebook, but nothing was there; then, a friend opened up about the noise.cash troubleshooting. I realized where I posted the photo.

When the site was fine, I decided that I won't stop until I found that photo. I scroll down gently, for I don't know when I posted that. In just my head, I remembered that, yeah, I made some microblog about her a month or year-long ago. It took me 30 minutes, and I found it; I don't know, but I felt strange. I knew it was happiness and nothing more. I found out that I posted it eight months ago; imagine that scrolling for a single photo that I posted eight-month-long.

https://noise.cash/u/Eunoia

Not everyone could understand how it was to lose a friend, even if they say just a dog. It took me two days to finally moved on. It also added to my anxiety that why the hell a lot of things are losing this year is a bad omen trying to cast within me?. That's one of the reasons why again, I was absent for two days here; the moment I type, I look somewhere.

It's not easy. What do people see if I cry just for a dog?

When I was in college, I thought I was such an evil man when I laughed when my friends just came to my dorm asking if he could stay for the night?. Their house was just a kilometer away from the university; why, just so suddenly, did he want to visit? I looked at him. I never questioned him, for I see that he just cried. I just kept the things went, prepared dinner for both of us, for that time some of our pals had already gone home for it was Friday night.

Times flew, and he said what happened. He just found out that his uncle butchers his dog. Sorry for that, but that's also happened here for some people who are still ignorant and cruel. He burst with anger but chose to leave and again went to school to let the feeling lay low a little bit. I just laughed secretly, I don't know, but maybe because I saw him crying; he was one of the gangster frats who always wanted trouble, yet he was emotional.

We spend the night with beer with us on the calm and fresh air rooftop. I just suddenly missed that, just the two of us drinking beer, talking about life. He was also one of my very few friends until now, and I just said that I valued friendship very much and could do things for my friends. He always called me boss, and he promised that until the end, he could d call me that callsign. I am not proud of what we did in college, but I am still proud of him, knowing he graduated on time. Back then, he felt that topics wouldn't absorb by his mind, I was the reason he passed all the exams, and I did some of his research papers (of course, just the data and book, he made the experiment).

Have you watched the "bad genius "? Haha, we made that.

I wanted to keep the photo forever; as I screenshot the picture, I knew that the quality wouldn't be as good as the original, so I just ran it to photoshop to increase the size and quality. Soon I wanted to keep and print it, as I don't wasn't. The memories we shared will just come in none.

Thank you, noise.cash for keeping my friends memories, I was careless to lose my phone and pictures inside, but I am still grateful that some backup happened. Thanks for everything.