The case of couples who were strengthened by quarantine -Because there are two sides to every coin-

Here I share with you the experiences of four couples about some aspects that have been overcome thanks to the quarantine; situations that are part of the problems of adaptation in the first years of cohabitation and that any marriage can experience.

Pixabay-Niko_Shogol

Concerned about the increase in the levels of divorce during this pandemic year, and looking, as I always do, for the point of balance, I set myself the task of finding out if there was another side to the coin; and of course there was, since I could see that many couples have taken advantage of this isolation in the home with all the members and have managed to strengthen their relationships.

And the fact is that there are several aspects that couple relationships must develop as they spend time together; thus, with constant work, there are transformations of personality that are generally aimed at creating values that correspond more to a union, and new paradigms in the way of relating, such as the assessments in terms of appearance, the presentation of arguments to make decisions, even the approach of goals and the perception of the family of the other.

These things can only be carried out with shared time, which, for almost everyone, is little due to the fact that households today are composed of workers who only have scarce moments in the family nucleus to rest, share and grow.

But this preventive quarantine that we have all lived through has shortened the time it takes to form values and new ways of treating each other with trust, as couples; and in contrast to the statistics that show a high number of divorces, there have also been couples who have managed to strengthen and settle their relationships thanks to the fact that they have enjoyed, have known each other and have grown together in this time of recess in their homes.

José and Laura:

The case of doubt in appearance

Pixabay-Sammy-Williams

I noticed that for Laura it had always been a problem to worry about her physical appearance in front of her husband; of course, they have only been married for three years, they both work, and the time they have been able to share in a prolonged way is limited to only two or three vacations with no more than 10 continuous days; for her the defects or carelessness regarding her personal grooming or her feminine care, were a source of doubt about whether she would displease or disappoint José.

The isolation has allowed them both to show themselves as they are, and for Laura, to feel a little freer from worrying about her appearance before her husband; and this has been when she has been able to see that for José the fact that they form a team that works is much more important than the right hair color or the perfect combination of Laura's clothes; something that couples achieve after many years of living together.

Manuel and Rosa:

Unconcerted changes

This couple never changed anything without discussing it first, it was a decision taken during the engagement, which later, with the arrival of their first daughter, became almost a ritual; I think that what is behind it is the fear of change, and it was due to the fact that both considered that they had a perfect couple and that any transformation, no matter how small, could be a danger to family harmony.

With the preventive quarantine they understood, especially Manuel, that personal decisions could be made; that while one decided how to attend to the daughter's education from a distance, the other invented resources to produce at work from an office in the middle of their rooms; and all without losing their own identity.

Something that in the long run couples of years achieve when time allows them to understand and conform as a team, but of beings with individual decisions and solutions that add up, and never subtract; and, on the other hand, changes are necessary and inevitable and do not risk marital stability, because we adapt to the new conditions as we get to know and love each other.

Luis and Farinna:

The conflicting arguments

Pixabay-RyanMcGuire

This couple managed to solve a situation that they frequently lived, and consisted in the fact that many times, due to opposite arguments, generally superficial, they ended up in discussions that altered the communication, even for days; and those arguments that for them were of great importance at the time, were diluting their value when facing such difficult situations, such as having a sick relative with Covid-19 or the difficulty to have meetings with the other family members.

Sharing for longer periods of time made them discover that discussions over which movie or which meal were worthless and, on the contrary, became fun ways of airing thoughts of current worries.

For long-time couples, having differences is fine, and in the long run, it is those differences that make the relationship grow stronger, where each one contributes what he or she is most familiar with and where he or she is strongest, to the team they form.

Jonathan and Cecilia:

The doubt of the right moment

Pixabay-Niko_Shogol

This couple belongs to a Church that solidifies bases in relation to the couple, that is to say, it instills in them guidelines towards service and tolerance towards others; also about fidelity and about the commitment to raise healthy and happy children; however, the fact of having arrived at marriage at a very young age, 24 and 22 years old respectively; had left them with the doubt of whether it was the right time.

I believe that all couples at the beginning go through the conflict of wondering if this was the right time to get married; it is something normal; but for Jonathan and Cecilia, this time in which they had to face the home alone and for days; made them understand that it is not really important to know what the moment is, but how much strength is available to make the relationship grow.

With the values that religion has given them and the time to understand and enjoy each other better, they understood that they would never know if it was the right time or not, but that now is the right time to get along, fight for their future and learn from each other.

Pexels-ahmed kriter

There are many other cases that I will try to describe later, that have been an example of being the other side of the coin in terms of statistics of broken marriages or relationships; and it had to be, because everything in life has an opposition, otherwise nothing would have sense or value, there would be no path to justice, nor would it be possible to make a choice.

I have always believed that intelligent beings in times of difficulties grow, resolve and are reborn more evolved; and I understand that this is part of being "human"; so the hope that we change for the better is not only here, it is also found in many examples that occur daily and anywhere on the planet.

Emilio Rios. Venezuela

emiliorios580@gmail.com

#Iamgrateful for the capacity of human beings to understand, tolerate and love, which increases in times of difficulty.

Lead Image: Pixabay-Free-Photos