My Wondering Questions And My Wandering Mind

Do you also want to write something meaningful but end up not getting to write anything because your thoughts are rambled that it's so hard to formulate them?

Do you think this article has some sense in it or I'm just gonna blabber nonsense questions? Whatever your answer is, are you ready to read and get to answer some or all of them?

This article is just full of personal questions, sentences that end with "question marks" and not "periods" because why not, right? I'm just gonna let my mind and fingers do their works, and let myself be amazed if I will be able to pull these messy thoughts together, will I?

Do you also ask things even if sometimes they are nonsensical, random, or full of sense? Because I do, and I wonder if it's just me or I'm not alone with this, am I?

I would want to start by asking, why was I even born on the 22nd day of December, and after 21 years of living, I still don't know what to do with my life? Sure, I have a lot of goals and dreams that I want to achieve, but I wonder, will I be able to accomplish all or some of them?

Then as I sit down and stare outside my window, I ask again another question, am I a prisoner who doesn't have the right to get out of the four corners of her room because when the pandemic occurred, we are no longer allowed to travel unless it is essential?

And as I look upon my ceiling, I wonder if I will be able to live the life I want, live in a different house, where I am far away from my parents, friends, and relatives, far from my comfort zone, and the only thing that would connect us together is through the Internet and social media platforms because I have a dream of getting to live alone, traveling from one place to another?

As I comb my hair, I wonder how my hair grew 26 inches long in just 2 years of not getting a haircut or hair treatment? I've been wanting to cut my hair short because I want to change something in me but I wonder how I would look like with it and if when will I push through that plan, maybe at the end of the month?

Then I gazed upon my 7-day weekends and endless summers notebook, flipped a couple of its pages, saw some of my writings, and got reminded of my other dream which is to live on the other side of the world, Europe, through a cultural exchange program, but every time I think about it, will I actually be able to do it?

Am I brave enough to leave my comfort zone or am I still weak who is not capable of getting hurt and disappointed?

I saw my wallet lying on my study table, which I bought in Baguio City when I stopped over the place after hiking at Mount Pulag, I wonder again if I will be able to hike the highest mountain in the Philippines, Mt. Apo, which is one of my goals in life? And I wonder if when will I be able to travel back to Baguio City with my parents because it is also my goal to travel with both of them to that city?

As I open my wallet, I saw some coins and peso bills that I've worked so hard to get, and the reality of not having so much money hit me and made me wonder how would my life be if I was born into a wealthy family or if my parents were rich?

If I was born rich, would it make my life a little easier because I don't have to work hard anymore as I have affluent parents who would provide all of the things I need and want?

But my nature's spring bottle that is placed at the side of my table also reminded me that I get to drink clean water while some people on the other side of the planet only gets to drink muddy one, so who am I not to be grateful for the things I have?

Then my eyes saw my laptop, an old one that was bought by my parents for my brother when he was still in his second year in college, and it was handed down to me when I already entered into my college life, which means this laptop has been working for almost 6 years now, and I wonder, when will I get to buy a new laptop for myself?

This laptop also reminded me of my plan of being a freelancer, perhaps a freelance writer or whatever freelance work my skills would land me with, where I can work just by using my laptop and the Internet for me to be able to live the life I want, of being a nomad, but would it be as easy road to take?

As I sit back and try to finish these wondering questions and stop my mind from wandering, I wonder what my life would be 5 to 10 years from now?

I wrote this article without any topic in mind, just letting my mind and finger write whatever they want, and gave myself 1 hour to formulate a full article for today, and this is the output, now I wonder if I really made some sense with it or nonsense at all?

I used random objects inside my room as a basis for my questions, did I do it right? Lols 🤣