Insecurities.

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We all have insecurities; those features we have that make us feel inadequate, that quality that crumbles our self-confidence every time we think about it. It could be your height; you wished you were way taller, it could be your weight; your self-confidence dwindles as you think about the folds at your back and your stomach, your arm fat that gets in the way of wearing that nice armless top you got months back. It could be your stretch marks that seemed to appear on every part of your body. You probably wished you weren't skinny, your thin legs that you try so hard to hide, or wearing brassieres with foam because you feel your boobs are minute, or you avoided situations that made you not wear brassieres because your boobs aren't the standard perky ones.

It could be the size of your weeny that made you opt for enlargement creams which only seemed to drain your pocket rather than cause an increase in the supposed area. It could be your looks; you wished you were lighter in complexion, you wished you had smaller eyeballs or a smaller nose, a bigger lip, or that perfect hairline unlike yours which seemed to recede more every single day.

You wish you had money, they say money makes the ladies flock around you. You couldn't change your features but you could at least throw money around to be accepted and your lacks ignored.

We all hear motivational speakers talk about how embracing insecurities are vital and it shouldn't make us feel less of ourselves. We should stay strong despite the insults that might be hurled at us.

I agree with them, we should really do that but when are we going to talk about the real problem?

The bullies especially internet bullying, is famously called trolling. You would know what I mean if you use Twitter.

These people hurl insults and pick out faults in people bits by bits without regard for their feelings. Sometimes, I get the urge to shout "Do you realize you're talking to a human being with feelings? Not a doll"

All those slight comments you make jokingly actually hurt, they take a toll on their self-esteem. I know how this feels because I had a really low self-esteem growing up, comments made by people about my looks made me self-conscious a lot, I wanted to look a certain way and have a certain type of body.

It affected my confidence, I would always stammer when I spoke in public, I would always doubt myself. I would say to myself "Dee, you aren't this, you aren't that"

It took years for me to get over it and right now I'm in the process of building my confidence.

You have no idea how that slight comment can shatter a person. Preying on a person's insecurities isn't fun, it isn't being Savage, it's just being insensitive.

Sometimes, I see people make certain comments about me, I look at them and see various things I could make fun of about them but I just laugh it off because it's so not worth the disgusting way I feel after that.

When I was ten, I had just finished primary school and was attending a tutorial to prepare for secondary school. There was a boy there who usually picked on me, calling me blackie and hurling insults at me. I knew who he was, we both did, he was the son of one of the cleaners at my primary school, I guessed he probably lied about that in the tutorial centre. I felt it was stupid of him to insult me when he knew I could tell everyone who he was and he would be laughed at. The boy continued and I just swallowed it all in, there was a day that he went over the top, I got angry at him and reminded him that he shouldn't insult me when he was just a cleaner's son. They jeered at him, he looked at me spiteful and never talked to me again.

I thought he had it coming but then I regretted it a lot, I kept thinking about it. I wished I could rewind time so that I would ignore him and deal with the hurt by myself as usual.

He reported me to his mom, of course, and she told my mom. I apologized but I still wasn't sure if I did the right thing.

Rather than pick out people's insecurities, let's make conscious efforts to compliment someone from today. Let's make someone smile, "Hey, you look beautiful today". It won't take anything from us. Let's do better.

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©Deeepensiverse

December 12, 2021.