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Eros is all about romance, passion, and attraction. It describes the intoxicating and thrilling emotions that the initial stages of a relationship can induce. "Relationships often begin with passion, including infatuation and attraction," marriage therapist Jason B. Whiting, Ph.D., LMFT, tells mbg. "As exciting as this is, it is mostly a fusion element, designed to draw people together."
*2.Pragma (enduring love)*
Pragma is sometimes translated to practical love, referencing the kind of love grounded in duty, commitment, and practicality. While this might apply well to the type of love that blossoms in an arranged marriage, this is also the love you see in long-standing relationships and life partnerships—like when you see an old couple that's been together for decades and decades. These are couples who find a way to make it work over time.
*3.Ludus (playful love)*
Ludus is very flirtatious and fun, without the strings that come with eros or pragma. It can be seen in the very early stages of relationships, when two people are flirting, courting each other, and crushing on each other. It often involves laughing, teasing, and feeling giddy around a person. It's very childlike in that way, though it can certainly evolve.
*4.Agape (universal love)*
Agape is selfless love, like the kind you might associate with saintly figures like Mother Teresa or activists like Malala. Hallett describes this love as a compassionate love for everyone, also known as universal loving-kindness. It's the love you feel for all living things without question, that you extend knowingly without expectations for anything in return. It's a very pure and conscious love. It's similar to what we sometimes refer to as unconditional love.
*Philia (deep friendship)*
Philia is the love that develops over a deep, long-lasting friendship. It's platonic, but nevertheless, you feel very close to those you have philia toward and can confide in them, trust them, and respect them on a very personal level. And according to Hallett, these friendships can be just as impactful as romantic relationships. "People may be surprised by the depth of pain and loss related to a long-standing friendship," she says. "Often the loss or 'breakup' of a friendship is as painful and challenging as the loss of a romantic relationship."
Philautia has actually been having a bit of a moment lately—and rightly so! This love is all about self-love and self-compassion. It may seem obvious, but the relationship we have with ourselves is very important, and yes, it needs to be nurtured. Philautia is important for our own confidence and self-esteem, and it will also influence how we interact with the world. More love of self equals more love to offer. You can't pour from an empty cup, after all.
*7.Storge (familial love)*
Storge is the love shared between family members (typically immediate family), and sometimes close family friends or friends from childhood. It differs from philia in the way that it's reinforced by blood, early memories, and familiarity. There's a reason people say "friends are the family you choose." You don't choose your family, and whether they actually like your family members or not, many people often do love them instinctually. Storge is compassionate, protective, and deeply rooted in memory.
*8.Mania (obsessive love)*
While some might argue this isn't really "love," the Greeks did have a word for "obsessive" love, and that's mania. This is what we would describe as a toxic relationship or codependent relationship, where there's usually some imbalance of affection causing one person to become overly attached. It can be hard to come back from mania, but if you can, there will need to be a healthier balance of affection.