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This feeling only comes when I'm with family, new family or those that we just recently get acquainted with and even those that we have not met for a very long time. And when we are finally together, damn! One cannot explain accurately the connection felt and the joyous moment of love that is shared between these families. Oh! it is unmeasurable.
I am an extreme introvert, and if measured statistically I would say I'm about 90% introverted, leaving the 10% extroverted.
I sometimes long to be in the midst of people, family and friends. But I'm always able to enjoy sitting with the ones I'm comfortable with regardless of whether they are family or friends. But when I do stay among them I hardly get disappointed and I Sometimes miss the moments and fun that was shared. But I don't always like to show it. Because if you know a real introvert you'll know that we do not always get excited as others.
I am always greatful for having this family with me here on read.cash. always greatful to them
Today I'm among my family, at my uncle's house with my cousins and his two wife's whom I have no childhood history with, even if I had I can't remember. I have been here for more than a week and I'm still learning to be comfortable and connect with them. But of course as the shy and introverted person that I am, I know it's gonna take some time, it always take lots of time for me to come around and feel as a unit with strangers even if they are family, lol. pathetic, right?.
However, they are such nice people and surprisingly yesterday I sat with them (whole family) in the parlor and we had some family time. All chatting and laughing while I was just sitting there saying nothing just staring and laughing at their funny jokes. Even though i was just sitting there like I'm not part of the room I payed attention to them while I was paying part of my attention to my phone, yet I enjoyed that moment and it made me feel like I belong and I feel connected.
It is so beautiful and exciting that it is giving me this feeling of regret of why we didn't meet earlier, like how come we didn't know each other before, like since when we were young, why didn't our parents bring us together sooner. It is annoying and frustrating if I feel this way. I get this kind of feeling anytime I meet my part of family I am not so familiar with and it is sad. But I guess it is not too late. We can be family now, and I love them.
Being an introvert has really took a big toll on me. Considering my withdrawal from certain types of people and family. Shyness and not wanting to socialize with friends and families. Sometimes people say I don't like them but is not true. I just hate the crowd sometimes and the noice they create, hate the crisis and troubles that people always cause and I just love having myself alone in a quite room. It gives me this calm energy that allow me to think alot about my personal life and my future plan. That has always been my problem. And I lost some friends because of it and even closely related families.
But is it who I am. And I guess i can't change but I will always try to be the best version of myself and make people close to me happily ever after. This is me.