2018

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3 years have past but the memories still intact on my mind. I remember I was busy packing up my things that time and I forgot that my ID was on my classmate. I contacted him because it was an emergency to get my ID. I'm not on my self that time, my mind is flying and I can't feel anything on my surrounding. I think my body still fighting and controlling my gestures. We pack everything that we need, clothes, important documents, ID, Food, money, etcetera. An uber van pick up us on our house, we put our belongings at back of van then enter inside of it. There's an aircon but I can't feel anything, I'm still daydreaming and sadness overcome my whole body. The Van starts moving and it travels ore than 3 hours to it's destination. Finally we arrived at our destination, we pick up our belongings then starts walking at wide area of Manila Sea Port.

North Sea Port

After 6 years I saw large ships again, I can't feel any excitement due to what happen. We are holding our ticket and the time we will ride the ship is 9 in evening, we are early that's why my older sister decide to make us stay on waiting area while she fixing the documents. My auntie decide to go home because their house is near at the Port. She asked me if I want to accompany her then I said yes. We ride a tricycle into their house and when we reached Parola, Tondo, Manila, people keeps looking at me but I don't care. Her neighbors asking her who am I and she says I'm her relative. I went inside her house then I helped her pack her things, we bought one tray of egg and we boil it. I met her grandchildren and I play with them. After an hour, we decide to go back at the Port. I saw my siblings and relatives at waiting area. We find a good spot so that we can sit, at 4 PM the guard let us pass and we enter at the Port. The security is very strict, every baggage we have is needed to inspect and we need to walk in sensor. After that we went at the desk and show our ticket to confirm. Hopefully, there's no error in our ticket, we find a seat at waiting area. I met a man who playing mobile legends and I have good conversation with him, he told me that he's having vacation at Bacalod. We wait there for couple of hours until the rain suddenly pours. Maybe mother nature's sympathize on what we feel right now. The buses of airport fetch us passenger to ship. It was very wet, while we ascend at the ship I sense the wave that also sympathize on what I feel. Finally we are aboard, there's there's bed number on my ticket but first I helped my relatives to find their bed number before mine. After they find all their bed numbers, I also find mine but I can't find it, when I saw my bed number someone occupied it that's why I decide to occupy the bed alongside of it. I put my things there then check my belongings. After that I went at the corridor of the ship.

It's already 6 PM that's why the darkness lurking surrounds the Port. I saw other passengers below me also ascending at ship, the ship will travel the sea at 9 PM that's why other passengers are rushing to go up. I saw lots of containers that surrounds the Port, maybe it has goods and foods inside.

Container that has goods inside

I was there thinking deeply what may next happen. My thoughts occupied my whole body and I feel sorrow, agony, sadness that time. I can't stop myself from crying. Hopefully, I'm at the end of corridor in which there's no people that near to me that's why no one can hear me sobbing. I can't believe that it was happen. I can't believe that I will go home to my province but not to enjoy. We will go back to out province to bring my sister's coffin so that my relatives will see her for the last time. We decide to bring her back where she was born, its her dream to have a vacation on our province and now it's true but she's already inside the coffin. As a write this now, I can't stop my tears from falling. It's still hurt that my only bestfriend and sister left me in this battle of life. I was in pain and I can't feel anything, even eating is not on my mind because I can't feel hunger. My relatives convince me to eat then I smile to them and I say I'll mesmerized for a while at the corridor. At 10 PM I saw St. Peter's Van ascending at the platform of ship together with other Van, inside of it is my sister's coffin. There a misunderstanding happened but it was fixed. The engine starts and the captain speaks for all passenger. Also, the announcer gave preventive measures to avoid accidents and tellcus what time we will reach Bacolod and the speed of ship. After that the ship start to travel at vast sea, as the ship goes away from the Port the little light I see. Until we reached at the middle of the sea and the darkness occupy the surrounding. Hopefully, the light of ship gives me vision as I look down while looking at the waves that the ship creates.

Author's Message:

Sorry for Kadramahan, I just want to remember every moment that I had even though it's a bad memories. Itchas continuation but I will 2nd it for now, maybe I'll continue it if I have courage to write about this again.

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Comments

Sorry to hear that about your sister. This is really touching. They say the more we tell about our sadness, it helps ease the pain. We will never get over it. It takes time to grieve for the someone we love and care.

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3 years ago

Thanks for concern po, it's true that no matter how decades may past, the pain will never gone specially if people who leave us is very important in our life.

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3 years ago

Hala. Sorry po for your loss. Masakit masyado mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. Tapos, in your case di mo masyado ma eenjoy na if nasa ship ka. Praying for you healing. God Bless You. This is my second article that I read. Since, this is my first day here. Pero naiyak ako. Be still kahit masakit masyado.

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3 years ago

Salamat po ate, new user ka po pala dito. Enjoy po dito, stay active lng po and share everything you've got. Everyone is friendly here po, you can interact with them.

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3 years ago

I'm sorry. I know it does hurt to be in the situation. Time heals. Forgiveness heals. Gratitude heals. Sending you all the love and light you deserve, Code!

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3 years ago

Stay strong. Loss of a loved one and feeling that void really never goes away. It just becomes part of your everyday. Grieve if you must. Then get back up ulit. God bless!

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3 years ago

thanks po ate I'm happy to encounter such people like you on this platform. God bless po.❤

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3 years ago

Sorry bout that.. Kht ilang years pa lumipas. Hndi tlga mwawala ang sakit

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3 years ago

thanks po ate Jane, siguro move on na lng po tlaga pero di po ganun kabuo mag move on kase malapit satin yung nawala.

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3 years ago

Nawalan dn ako ng mahal sa buhay. Hirap mag move on. Pro kelangan

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3 years ago

Sorry for your loss. It's been 3 years but I can still feel your pain. Stay strong and God bless you!

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3 years ago

Strong po tlagaa ako kaya nga po hanggang ngayon lumalaban padin.❤

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3 years ago

Napaiyak ako.😥 I remember my brother. Hindi ko kasi siya nakita nung namatay siya. Hindi na siya inuwi sa lugar namin. I feel your pain po. I'm sure happy na ang sister mo kung nasan man siya naroroon.

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3 years ago

Sabi nga nila everything happens for a reason, kung may taong umalis, merong bagong darating. Maybe God has plan why our loved once left us here on earth.❤

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3 years ago

Tama po. Kaya tanggapin na lang natin ang katotohanan na wala na talaga sila. Pero hindi naman sila nawawala sa ating puso't isipan.

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3 years ago

Sorry for your loss bata, mahirap talagang mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. Gaya nong ate ko noon, grabi, galing syang Batangas binyahe din lang sya dito ng partner nya. Nakakalungkot man pero kailangan natinf umusad. Anyways, waiting sa kasunod.

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3 years ago

adventures ko na po sa barko next nyan, saya sana tingnan yung dagat kaso di maenjoy kase may pinagdaanan. It's almost 4 years pero di padin nawawala ang sakit, siguro ganun po tlaga pag mahal natin sa buhay ang nawala.

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3 years ago

Sorry for your loss brother, masakit at nakakaiyak pero kaya mo yan. Ang ganyan pangyayari ang kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas napakasakit pa din kapag naaalala. Sending you my virtual hugs..

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3 years ago

ok lng gusto ko lng alalahanin pra maging sad boy ako, lahat naman tayomay pinagdaanang ganyan, di lng mahahalata kase bakas padin ung ngiti sa mukha natin.😊 Thanks sa hugs.

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3 years ago