On Life, Mass Manipulation, Love, Society & Humanity, My Dark Thoughts & Feelings, A Call for Action

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Written by

ChristinaMadart

Passionate about making life better (mine as well as others'), Music & Art, Travelling, Te... [more]

3 years ago

In community: Open For All(cc80)

Topics: Philosophy, Reality, Community, Psychology, Life, ...

On Life

I've been wanting to write about my deeper thoughts and feelings on this world and my life so far for some years now. I've been writing and writing things down but it was too dreadful for me to actually post them, as some of the things I have got to share may be considered as complaining and I don't like complaining.

So I would just shut my mouth, keep burying my writings and try to find ways to fix things. And yes, of course I am the strong one that can carry all the weight of the world and all the snapping from others and just keep shutting the fuck up and taking it because I don't want to hurt others, I am afraid of them getting enraged with me and/ or shaming me for speaking my mind and I also don't want to sound like the bitching one.

After all it's my fault always, isn't it? If I've done things differently you all wouldn't have to treat me this way, would you? After all none of them is a real monster, right? They are just people like you and me, some of them really love me and I really love them and they are trying to do their best with what they have and I’ve done mistakes before, haven’t I? So I deserve it and since I love them back I should just be the mature one and take it, right?

And let’s not forget that we are all supposed not to let ourselves feel bad and overwhelmed, after all who wants to hang out with someone that wants things and not just to offer? And who wants to have people hang out with them and knowing that they might feel pity for them?

You may wonder why the prologue. Why am I telling all these things and not getting to the point? These are all the thoughts that are still trying their best not to let me share this article with you. Dragging my hair, slapping my face, throwing ice buckets to me to get my s..t together and not act “crazy”, trying to warn me of the consequences from the people that will get annoyed or will think less of me after this. I think and think some more and I overthink it a little more.

I've reached that point though that it's inevitable. I can't hold it inside anymore, it's choking me and I have to spit it out. Puke it if there’s no other way. This fucking poison. This world is utterly berserk. I don't know if it was always like that or if it's ever gonna stop being but right now it's absolutely and idiotically bonkers.

I don’t want your pity, I still have a whole lot more of things to offer than your typical fellow person, but I’m not offering them anymore just because you want to take it. You have to deserve it. And those of you who will stop liking me after this I am prepared to accept it and let go of you (yes, even YOU). I don’t need you nor want you anymore if you can't really see me.

I am using Ghost Town as a metaphor for our souls. Our towns may still have life and music in them, but do we?

Important note for my articles

The songs that I include, their video clips and their lyrics are adding to the meaning and the sensation of what I am writing about.

The suggested way of reading my articles is that when you meet a song you open the video and watch it (if it has a video clip of course, elsewise just listen to it. If needed, read the lyrics too before you continue with the rest of the article.

On mass manipulation techniques

I don't know what is truth, what is a lie, what to believe, what not to believe, what to do and what not to do, where to look and what is going on under the table where that thing that I am looking at is.

I don't know what to think, what I am allowed to feel and I most certainly don't know how to have control over my life and how to contribute on stopping the psychopaths (mildly phrased) that keep screwing the whole universe. And I know that I should be afraid of them and be careful, because they can end me in a million ways in a single nano-second.

That ladies and gentlemen is a mission perfectly accomplished. Its name: "Mass Manipulation and Control".

Some of the techniques from its cookbook:

Always control the narrative. No matter how bad it seems you can always turn it around to service your profit. People are easy to convince if you just set it right.

Demagogy. Use these beautiful and full of meaning and value words like liberty, prosperity, growth, development etc etc even if you plan on bringing down exactly the opposite. The sheeps will follow blindly.

Fear & The Dogma Of Shock. When you’re done with demagogy and you want to take your game to the next level and totally cripple people, it’s time for the heavy machinery. Tell them that they’re going to die if they don’t do what you say, create or use already present circumstances to your advantage, damage the economy and the small/ medium sized companies, create economical and survival havoc, let them know that they can’t really live anymore, the only thing they can do if they want to keep existing is obey you. Let that sink in.

Social experiments. I won’t really get into this, it’s a vast subject on which I don’t have the needed knowledge in order to speak about it. I just know that it’s happening.

Assassinations / imprisonment/ career destroying / marginalization/ making a fool out of the ones that threaten your shenanigans. Once again, people are easy to believe the narrative that you will sell them and even easier in forgetting if you feed them with the necessary damage-controlled scandals. After a while they will forget those too, or be extremely confused to process anything anymore and will go on with their routine. The poor bastards that you have undone can have a page in history and folklore (best case scenario). Also you can make movies of them to make more money.

Create confusion, paralysis, haze, fog and disorientation to the masses. They shouldn’t know what is coming, when and where it’s coming from, have absolutely no idea of who the enemy is and how to fight back.

Attack methodically the educational and the art system. Create stupid and docile sheeps or angry barking but idiotic hyenas and you should be just fine. Their idols should be more stupid than stupidity itself. And gross and violent and sick in the brain of course. The ones that won’t want to obey will destroy themselves and each other.

Poison the well of information and facts, apply mass gaslighting techniques. Make them doubt themselves, their sanity, isolate them from the docile and believing ones and they’ll finally accept that they can’t do anything. Survival instinct kicks in after all, nobody wants to die or be left alone.

Did you forget the old classic one “Divide & Conquer”? They haven’t. You can see it all over the place.

Start observing around you and maybe you'll spot them next time. On the news, on the ads, on your governments, on your apps, on your socials, on your friends & family that bought it.

What you can do about it? Oh, I don't know. That's its beauty.

Even when you see it you can't do jack about it, unless of course you're a badass motha fucka batshit crazy marine ninja hacker reincarnation of the mixed energies of Sun Tzu, El Profesor, Elliot Alderson, Che Guevara, Nikita and Chuck Norris (I don't care if some of them are fictional or still alive, you get the point) and you decide that you can save the freaking world.

And the ridiculous thing is that even if someone was to actually save it and not do some major fuck up or get killed on the way, do you really think that it could remain saved, or it would just find different ways to fuck itself and shoot its own legs again? Maybe, as The Sisters Of Mercy phrased it " You won't get what you deserve. You are what you take".

No, one person can’t save the world so don't wait for no-one to save you. We all have to take responsibility and start educating ourselves, care enough for every form of life and for each other’s feelings, cultivate critical thought, not buy into dogmas and single minded quotes.

Be the water, be the fire, be the earth and be the air (lol, I used a quote 😸 ). Process everything we hear, see and feel and find ways to act, not react. Question our sources and ourselves enough so that we are sure that we are not being played and we are not playing others.

It’s slower and harder than just shouting and posting, but at least it CAN give results. Only then is there a chance that we make it as a species and not eat our own guts. Only if most of us are in it. Become a decentralized force and not a single point of failure.

Some of the things you can educate yourself in:

Political History & Education
Negotiation techniques
Manipulation techniques (so that you won’t buy them next time anyone tries to apply them to you – that can happen on your close environment too, you’ll be surprised if you realize how many narcos and socios are out there and it can literally save your life and/ or sanity)
Explore what is your bug (what can be exploited in order to destroy you one way or another) and patch it. Fix yourself.
Find what your adversary’s bug is in case you need to fight back.
Social engineering skills can help on the above.
Strategic thinking, solution thinking, solving big and complex problems, pattern recognition.

On love, lust and companionship

Yeah, there's this subject too. The one that I particularly avoid talking about, the most dreadful one. The one I fought with myself the most not to get out of the article and just leave the rest. The sin. It stays.

Yes, I want you like there's no tomorrow and I don't want to feel guilty about wanting it while the world is burning around us. It has always been burning and it will never cease burning if we don’t be smart and human about it for once.

It's not that I do nothing about the world burning. I do and I don't see you doing anything better except getting pissed off and posting about it. I do things, I just don't find pleasure or meaning in bragging about them. And I plan to do even more. If you thought I wouldn't, boy I got to tell you you've been betting on the wrong horses and when you understand it you'll be disappointed from your intuition. Not just you, most of the people in my close environment. They keep seeing me as the underdog and have been preoccupied for a great deal of time trying to convince me about it too. I'm not convinced anymore.

It's not like you could know what I'm doing (or if I could know if you’re doing more than the things I said before) and if we could work together to do things about it, as I can never find you for more than a rushed hour of talking about the weather. See, I don’t want you just to fuck our brains out like animals, I also want you as a partner and a person close to each other, but you fail miserably to wrap your head around it.

What can we possibly say in one hour? You’re never open to closeness and you're never eager to really talk about solutions. It's always about the unsolvable problem with you, or you seem to believe that the solution is in the violence you're fantasizing of practicing but will never do unless you have a (stupid) death wish, or in punishing yourself and me by denying living. So, as long as I don't get to have some real interaction with you and since I just can't take this shit anymore and I believe I deserve much better than that, I will write about my thoughts and let them out.

If you read it that's fine. If you understand this shit, even better. Even if you don't, it will serve for getting it out of my mind and soul and going my way. You keep saying that we shouldn’t close doors. Well, if you want my door open you should open it yourself and find ways to keep it open. You've got to work for it, for us too (if there's ever going to be an “us” of course). Walk your mile too.

All I've been doing for the last four years is respect you, not trying to force my opinion on you, believe in you with all my heart, soul and mind, defending you without depriving you of the chance to defend yourself too and waiting. Waiting and waiting and waiting and then some more waiting just to make sure we don't forget what waiting feels like. All you've been doing is finding unbelievably many reasons to not be open to us being a thing. I'm starting to feel like Penelope's suitors with all the plots you're weaving. 😸

I'm not regretting those things I've done the last 4 years, not for a single second. I'm just done waiting, I'm done being the calm one. I'm not calm, I'm fucking pissed off, sick of the crap and wanting to live. Really live, not just exist. Just existing doesn't work for me, it exhausts me. Not another walking dead, not another waiting zombie in this bloody apocalypse you keep buying for some incomprehensible reason to me.

Wake up. Just wake up and smell the roses, the napalm, the scent of possibility as well as of personal responsibility. Not the one they've been selling us, the one that they never want us to know about. The one that maybe even we don’t want to know about, because it will take us out of our comfort zone, out of the box, out of the normal, out of what is considered revolutionary and badass but is lame misery really. Don't be trapped into stereotypes.

The one where you finally understand that you have both the power, the mind and the responsibility to use them. As well as the responsibility to not screw with other people's souls.

With or without me from now on, this letter is my gift to you.

On the society and humanity - My dark thoughts and feelings

I feel like we're on an infinite loop of unending stupidity. Always eager to be pushed around, manipulated to our core, be, do, think, dream everything they bloody tell us that we should, and of course let's not forget about snapping against each other, biting other people's heads off and killing each other’s souls so that we can say we did something, that we matter, that we are superior and badass.

I feel alone dudes and dudettes. Alone in a crippling way. So alone that some days it feels like my soul is cracking to a million pieces. Additionally, unwanted and an intolerable burden to others. Despair is the word, still trying to save my fucking sanity and make this world a better place for others and for me.

I'm fucking tired of this crappy world and in occasions I have trouble breathing in it. Still there's a stubborn fire and lust for life, creation and beauty inside me that keeps me going on and on and ends up causing me even more torment when I see its futility and the strength with which people around me hate its guts.

My friends use to tell me from time to time that they like having me around because I make them feel good, like a rainbow of good energy. With some of them I end up being the rainbow, always listening and thinking about solutions to problems just to receive problems to my solutions and another ask-hole to my collection. And I have quitted talking to some about my feelings some time ago, as I have observed that very few were really listening to me. Most of them were so preoccupied to just speak and be a smart-ass, never listen, that I ended up feeling worse than before talking. Violated actually. My soul opened and people pissing on it. Get out of my house now. My cat is a better listener.

Not all of them are like this of course and some of the ones that are I still love and value them, otherwise they wouldn't be my friends at the first place. I just don't open to them until they realize and fix this behavior.

So I keep being the rainbow and people keep being ignorant for the endless hours I may spend crying from time to time when the s..t hits the fan, until my eyes burn, my head spins and I can do nothing but sleep the whole day off. And those who know it push it back on their brains because come on now, everybody is miserable and hurting, you're not the only one and there are worse situations out there (* I’m getting into this subject a little later so hold your fire if YOU are in a much worse situation), but you are the strong one, you'll get over it. We're not worried for you, you’ll be fine. I’m not fine. You should know it and I’m telling it to you. Plain and simple, I am making a statement that I’m not ok. Do YOU care enough? If not let me live or let me fucking die, but don’t kid yourself and don’t try to kid me that you’ve ever been a true friend of mine. And own your asshole-ness.

Social media is a joke. Facebook and its rotten energy and misery wanting to force itself to everyone, reflecting the stinking state of our society. Being miserable is the new word of fashion, it will be worn a lot and it’s here to stay. Always a classic item for your soul’s wardrobe. You can get some sedatives in the form of a false sense of power and authority to judge others and bitch around of course, it’s on the house. You just get to pay with your personal data and preferences so that we can send you more related ads to your interests. And every stalker is free to spy on you as long as they don’t violate the terms of the community (that no-one really guards) and no-one will do nothing if they don’t assault you physically first.

Instagram and its narcissistic role models, look at me, I’m so smoking hot, I take the best selfies, I am an influencer and my life is perfect.

About Twitter I ain't got a lot of things to say because I can't get enough of a hang of it to have an educated opinion.

I have found some great people and energy on noise.cash though. I really wish I knew personally some of the people there, that we were friends IRL. Sometimes I wish I could leave my country and go live somewhere else. I am the opposite of proud about my country and most of its people.

You're out of the concept girl, you can't be posting about music and beaches and love and beauty while we're posting about the important things. Well, stop just posting about them boys and gals. You're ridiculous, in one month from now it's proven that you're gonna forget all about the important stuff you're posting now and you'll be back on posting about Meg and Harry or fighting if we should take the vaccine or not and calling each other vaccinated or sprayed. Take a good look at yourselves. You are all (most of you anyway) sprayed. Sprayed with lack of foresightedness and “Hitting your heads to the walls” eau de toilette.

There are exceptions of course, I’m not saying that everyone is like that, just the majority. Also I’m not saying that we shouldn’t post about important things, just not use it as a statement that we are doing something and do nothing other than that.

STOP the keyboard revolution. Do something about it.. Something that matters. Starting from fixing your sadistic and responsibility avoiding manners. How can you possibly believe that you care for humanity and human lives and life itself when you are so eager to attack one so easily just because they are not adopting your vision of revolution or for any other small insignificant thing?

The Call to Action

(*) I understand and respect that there are indeed much worse situations than the emotional pain I’m in, my hurt feelings, my despair and my incapability of really living.

There are indeed the children that are hungry, the whole countries that are being bombed for the most ridiculous and rotten reasons, the people that have absolutely no way of getting out of the shithole, the kids and the adults that are being abducted and used as sex slaves or killed for their organs, the ones that are being poisoned and slowly murdered physically, mentally or/ and emotionally by their jobs, the kids that are forced to work, the people that are getting slayed in the name of religion or some promise god made to them, the women that are getting slayed because someone looked at them, the others that are getting raped and violated on a daily basis just because they are women and their people’s god says it’s ok. The forests that are being burned to the ground to make villas and money making machines/ buildings/ whatever it is that is going to take their place, the animals mass killed, the raping of the environment, the total destruction of everything and everyone they can get their hands on. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

A huge part of my emotional pain is here at the first place because all these have to be allowed to happen. I can’t even start to process what state of mind you have to be in to even think about doing them and they have to be allowed to freaking happen. Because it’s normal for us to see those things on the news, because we’ll be pissed off and some of us will even spend a week or two talking about them with their friends to find ways to help, but they will end up to the acceptance that we can’t do a single thing about it. Because I am trying to open a conversation with my friends about them and we always end up spinning for endless hours and bitching around the facts and the problems. No solution on the horizon. Just bitching and getting miserable about it.

Others will go out on the streets and protest about them, some will break some other people’s properties in the process, even beat/ cripple other people to get it out of their systems. The police will beat the s..t out of some, arrest some others, put some of their own to create a havoc and say that the protesters created it so that they can beat more s..t out of them and call them left wing unwashed anarcho-commies. Can you see the stupidity? Can you see the futility? Can you see the need to take it otherwise? To find other ways?

I am calling you to comment with your country’s and community’s big problems and if you are interested on finding new ways. Let’s make a community of solution thinkers and peaceful but effective action takers, ways to communicate with each other and make organizations, applications, blockchain projects, education initiatives, anything that can make this fucking deranged world better in ways that matter. Not just so that we can post and bitch and get fucking miserable about it. So that we can make it.

I can’t make it on my own. I don’t have the money, I don’t know twenty different professions, I don’t have the mental strength to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. No-one does on his/ her own. Together we stand, divided we fall.