Cest la vie

Mornings are moments of peace. As I sip my coffee and stare blankly into space, my mind wonders through my past. Scenes of history have started replaying in my mind. The moments were blurry yet I can still remember every emotion I have felt. They were sad glimpses of my past, but strangely my heart does not hurt anymore.

These flashbacks made me remember the little wonders I have learned through the years that have made me the person who I am now. I have been through painful nights and hopeless days. I was hurt by the people I loved the most yet I did not turn my back on loving. The pain was heavy yet I carried it and learning from that pain made me better. Thanking that pain and the people who gave me that pain was my way of healing.

I used to think that I should be grateful to those people and the pain they left me, yet I have realized it was wrong. Pain changes us. There are people who came into our life who left us wounds. Those were wounds we tried so hard to heal until they become scars. And those scars are the proof we have learnt and we have grown. They are reminders of our past that have shaped us as who we are now.

But no, let me tell all of you. You do not have to thank those people for hurting you. You should not feel indebted to them because of the pain they caused you, the pain you thought that changed you. You do not have to be grateful of the pain they gave that you think that made you into who you are now

Thank yourself. Be grateful of your own efforts to heal. You were the one who fixed yourself up from the mess they left you in. It was all thanks to you, not to them do not give them the credit because them being an asshole is not to be thankful of.

You do not owe them anything. You will still grow even without them. You hold that much power. You hold countless possibilities and endless potential. You can grow on your own. You healed because you tried so hard. Be proud of yourself. Love yourself more. And never go back to the same pain.

I have learned that as I go through the stage of acceptance. I was my own savior and I will always be. I saved my own self and made it better. There were so many things I have learned as I heal from all those wounds. Even with all those hurtful experiences, I want to remind you to never lose yourselves. Never throw away the person who you were. Never freeze your kind, loving and caring heart. Never bury the you who were full of love and selfless.

Of all the ways that pain may affect you, I find fear the most difficult. Many of us become scared of loving again because we are afraid of going through the same pain again. But we should not. Never lose yourself. Do not be afraid of loving again because of the pain. Never let the people from the past dictate how your future will be.

You can never say that you have healed when you are still imprisoned from the past. Closing the doors of your heart is not your end goal of moving on, but opening your heart again. Forgiving yourself is the right way to heal. I have learned to forgive myself from letting it go through such pain. I have learned to stay the kind and loving me even when being that way only led me to heartaches. Letting myself stay true and making it become better was my healing.

Love yourself and love the ones you want to. Some things do not work out but some things will. DO not let go of hope and everything will be alright soon. That's life. Let us live the life where we can be happy and free from the pain of the past. Let us live a life with hopeful mornings with peace emanating from our hearts.