Friendships: Not Everything is Forever

While I grew up believing that everyone is my friend and that we will be together until the end of time, reaching adulthood made me realize that most friendships are not meant to last forever and that it is better that way.

Friends are like family to me, and they are a treasure. I am always deeply and emotionally invested in considering people my friend and may be this is where I go wrong at some point especially when the relationship halts and I get to blame myself for it and look for the possible mistakes that I may have done.

To be very honest, I was terrified of ending my ties with other individuals. I wanted everyone close to me to be a constant in my life. I cannot stand the thought of bumping into someone I used to know and someone who truly knows me and a simple “Hi” would become so hard to utter.

But guess what, life moves that way.

Sometimes, friendships become toxic and with this kind of environment, no one will ever grow.

It’s also hard to understand why and how it becomes toxic. What I am sure of is that no one is to be blamed because no matter how close or tight the relationship was, individually, we grow and change and a person’s heart and soul desire different things that will no longer match with the others.

There are various reasons why friendships reach the end and it is a case to case basis. I’m writing this to let you know that it is normal to lose friends – to let those whom you’ve known the longest, whom you’ve cried during those dark times, whom you’ve hugged with joy and sadness, and whom you’ve shared the most beautiful memories. It is really painful at first; the bittersweet feeling will arrive too, until acceptance and discernment will come to you.

How do you realize that a friendship has to end?

While some has exact and deep reasons that totally cut the friendships, in majority, the friendship dies just like a bubble in a thin air – it fades away just like that.

Here are some things that you can observe in friendships that are about to end:

• Being with them and meeting up with them becomes tiring and it feels like a big responsibility.

• You will perceive that their bad behaviors are something you can tolerate but it starts to affect your individuality.

• When the line drawn has reached the limits and the respect is no longer given or felt with each other.

IN MY 20 YEARS OF LIVING IN THIS WORLD, I can say that adulthood really teaches us greater things that are crucial in dealing with the bigger world. At the present, my circle has become small but there is peace and serenity in my mind that I belong somewhere and I am accepted for who I am despite my mishaps.

My life finally started to be lighter when I let go of the relationships and the people that I was holding onto for a long time while I patiently wait for the right time for everything to go back to normal and the chances in my hands just turned heavier and heavier each day because the doors are long closed and I was in fact waiting for nothing.

To the existing friendships we have, here are friendly advice that may help:

• Always be honest. Honesty is a really big thing in all aspects of our lives. Dishonesty could turn everything upside down including trust.

• Do not take expectations and assumptions. You may know who truly your friends are but not at all matters. Speak only for them if you have to – it’s a way to show respect to your individuality.

• Show appreciation and compassion. Make time for each other and give off simple and small supports to their goals, achievements, and everything in between.

Once again, thank you for visiting this article and I hope to see you in the next one.