How do you find yourself after losing it?
Some people come into your life and wreck every piece of you that you will not even remember who you were before they hurt you.
They come into your life, give it a new meaning and fill up the spaces and void in your heart. You see yourself becoming kinder, softer and more gentle than you have ever been. The darkness inside of your heart disappears little by little. The demons that live in your darkness fades away with it. You begin to be a new person because of them.
Then they’ll leave you unknowingly and confuse yourself.
Out of a sudden, they are gone with no goodbyes. Not even an explanation to you. All the progress you had in becoming better just became blurry. All the feelings you invested became worthless. You poured out your heart and it was only thrown away.
You showed yourself to them and they only left it in the open. You begin to assess yourself as a person, what do you lack and how you could not have been enough. Where did you go wrong? As the pain they gave you seeps into your being, you begin to lose yourself.
Losing yourself is getting lost in a vast ocean without any sign of land nearby.
You will never know where you will go. Forgetting who you were is one of the worst things that could happen to you. The changes I made to be better became nothing and I did not know if I should go back to who I was when I could not even remember that.
It was after losing myself that I begin to understand how important it is to know oneself.
Knowing yourself means knowing your worth.
You know how you should treat yourself and how you will let others treat you. If you know your worth, you will know let others treat you in a way you do not deserve. I gave myself for one person who cannot do the same to me. It could have been acceptable if the rejection was clear and early but the person gave nothing but a silent farewell.
To know oneself, you should know what you are capable of and what you are not. In that way, you could face every situation knowing what you can and cannot do about it. It will let you assess more the situation you’re in and make a decision you know you can stand by.
However, after losing myself, I started start to doubt who I really am. You do not know how you should be treated by yourself and by others. You just let people do whatever they want to you even if you do not deserve it. You become a coward not able to face anything because you do not even know if you can.
All those time staring in space are for naught.
I asked myself who I really am and I constantly end up getting confused. Yet, after wondering every sleepless nights and quiet mornings, I came to a realization. The changes I have made should not be thrown away. I realized I did not do it for the other person but for me. I became better for myself. Why should I deem it worthless?
Time heals. It was a long period of searching for answers but time will help you find what you are searching for. Keep holding on and you will see yourself again after losing it. Who I was before is still a part of me. The new patches of my self is also a part of me. This is my life and no one should be in control of it besides me. One person rejecting me does not mean I am not valuable.
Closing Ideas
We should never lose ourselves because of other people. Even when we feel like lose ourselves, we can surely find it still because it is not hidden. We may not actually be lost. We just turned our backs on our own selves that we cannot see how beautiful and worthy we are. Look at yourself again and see. See how wonderful you are. You do not deserve of being treated like nothing. You deserve better.
Thanks for your wonderful time!
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There is nothing greater for you than self-love! ✨ thank you for this article