To Forgive

When was the last time you have argued with someone else?

Last week my neighbor and I had a heated argument over some payment. It was intense that even his brother intervened and sided with him. So I was battling with them, exchanging words and yelling for about ten minutes.

Both of them are bigger than me. I only weigh 120 lbs and if the scenario went worst I am no match to both of them. I will end up being badly beaten. But it did not happen and the debate had cooled off with no physical contact. 

Here is the story. Let’s name my neighbor B1. 

B1 and I were both lessees in this area for three years and counting. But we rarely talk and have no such bonding moment, not even on one occasion. We are both busy minding our own life.

One time he asked me to lend him $20 (1000php) because he had a kind of short budget to pay for the electric bill.

If you are going to judge my personality, I'm the kind of person who’s straightforward and always abides by the rules. Like I said in one of my previous posts, I grew up in a place where people always abide by norms and strict parental guidance.

So being a good citizen and as a family man, I lend him the money with no hesitation as agreed on what he has promised.

The day had come that I was expecting he would pay for the money he borrowed but for whatever reason he didn’t show up. I waited the next day and then the following day but B1 wasn’t knocking on my door. He was like ghosting.

The next morning I told my wife to go to B1 to ask for the money because we will be needing it to pay the rent.

A few moments later she came back with her face frowned. She told me that B1 raised his voice on her. I know my wife more than B1 so I'm pretty sure she will not do anything to make B1 have his voice raised on her. I went over instead and made a confrontation. 

As much as possible I don’t want to make someone mad at me or me to anyone because I don’t want an enemy. However, it appears that this man doesn't seem to have manners or doesn’t have one word.

To make the story short we end up yelling at each other like stray dogs barking. Good thing it did not end up to the extent that we have to measure our physical strength. I still manage to be sane enough while making arguments with B1.

My point was, he was the one who had arrears on me and still showed arrogance when confronted. B1 agreed to give back on a specific date but then it was overdue and still nothing to give.

Two days have passed after the incident, B1 knocked on my door and handed over the money. He apologized for what had happened, saying that he was just kind of stressed that day.

I accepted his apology right away and apologized too. I mean there is no reason to hold a grudge. It will only bring health risks and mind disruption.

In the end, we have settled the trouble and live peacefully.

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There are instances in life that we can not avoid conflicts. There is always misunderstanding and arguments. This is normal to human beings because people have different interpretations of things. People don’t have the same exact perception of everything. Other people's ideas and beliefs would sometimes match parallel to the other.  That makes people understand each other and the result is a harmonious relationship.

The event that had happened to me could have been avoided. I mean there might also be something wrong with me. I am always looking back at every conflict that happened to me because I want to make sure it will not happen again in the future.

I know there is something wrong with B1 because in the first place he was the one who had to attend a responsibility and broke the agreement.

I also looked into my actions. Maybe next time when a person raises his voice on me I will find ways not to contradict and raise my voice too. That way we can both avoid being agitated.

I haven’t argued with someone else for so many years because I am avoiding it. But it seems no matter how hard I try to avoid such an event, it’s inevitable especially when my wife has been involved.

Forgiveness is the only solution to any conflicts. Apologize when you are wrong. But don’t be too apologetic to anything just to please people. It is also not good for you. People will judge you as weak if you always apologize for even a very small blunder. 

Thanks for reading. Ciao!

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Feel free to check my previous post:

Life Is Too Short To Spend Negativity

Bitcoin Cash: Contagious Than Coronavirus

Reviving Forgotten Writing Skills

Don’t give up: Write even when you don’t want to

There is no Truth, no Reality: Only Stories

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Vitaly Taranov

Yuvraj Singh

Robert Gramner

Felix Koutchinski

Tyler Nix

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