Ever felt awkward after hearing someone else's problem?

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Avatar for Bilqees
2 years ago

"You can't help me, nobody can. You wouldn't understand, believe me you dont want to hear this".....

These might be a the hurting responses of an older friend, a kind boss, a loving neighbor, a caring colleague , a favourite cousin, aunty or uncle who is in great distress and anxiety, when we try to know what the cause of their worries.

You could feel his or her pains and it breaks your heart seeing such a nice person going through such level of agony. You wouldn't have any peace of mind unless you were able to unravel the cause of this misery and try to offer a healing hand.

You'd say to yourself, "I just have to do something to help him, there must be something that I can do. He shouldn't be passing through all this alone. This is the time to prove myself to him. Yes this is my turn to help him..."

We would have already concluded in our minds even before hearing what the problem was that we would sure be able to help that nice man or woman.

He or she might be in such a sad mood for days and you just feel that you just can't take it anymore. But after much persuasions and coersion, you finally succeed in getting that person to speak to you.

As soon you finished listening to him speak. The shock and gravity of what he had just said might throw you off balance.

Never in your wildest imagination would you have thought that the person would ever mess up himself so bad.

As a matter of fact, you would never have believed if you were told by anyone else, that a person of such status or integrity would fall into such temptation. But right now , you have heard from the horse's mouth and "it is what it is"

You have finally talked him into telling you his problem and you are now completely dumbfounded. You mind is totally paralyzed by this shocking revelation and you are just as confused as your friend. But, moments ago, You have thought it was something that you could help out with and you were very eager to help.

Finding yourself in this kind of situation can be such a big dillema and you might start to feel guilty immediately, since you have realized that you can't help him like you had earlier thought.

You might even regret the moment you began to coerce that person to share his burdens with you. Instinctively, you now know that you can't just leave him alone with the burdens now that he has told you about it.

For a split second, you might feel like running away from that individual, leaving him to carry his cross alone lest the both of you drown together.

But you know you wouldn'tdo that, that's not the kind of person you are. Infact, that kind of thinking are nothing but whispers of demons into your pure heart and of course you would never listen to that.

Still, you don't have the slightest idea of the kind of advice or assistance that can help him out and you are quite sure that you can never come up with anything helpful no matter how much you try.

Now, you are slowly getting out of the shock and gradually regaining your composure. Instinctively, You know you just have to be strong for that person since you are now his new confidant . Your minds gets clearer now as you are quite sure that you both would stick together to the end of it all.

You begin to pick your words gradually. "Pls take it easy dear, it's going to be alright, you will be just fine"...

On hearing this words, the other person might become more miserable as he is now very sure that neither you or anyone else could ever help him out of his predicament.

I have found myself in such a dillema before when a friend of mine got her self into a serious trouble. As soon as she told me her worries, she burst into tears and I couldn't help but cry along. We cried together for almost fiftheen minutes

Seeing her going through so much pains without being able to do anything to help ease the pains made me cry more.. But, Alas," a problem shared is already half solved" . Atleast I could draw some confidence from this statement.

I never left her alone, I kept calling her in the evenings before going to bed just to make her feel better and lighter. Maybe she might get some level of comfort, knowing that someone else thinks about her problems too.

There was a time i thought about asking her to come over to stay at my place for the meantime. I was actually afraid she might harm herself if left alone to her troubles.

I also made sure I spent sometime with her every other day, then we start to discuss the problem from the beginning all over again in the hope of exploring a loophole that we might use to our advantage and probably get a way around a potential solution.

Talking about a problem with a close friend regularly , can somehow make it less heavier I guess. One would gradually, albeit subconsciously build the confidence and gusto to face whatever consequences your previous unthought actions might bring in the nearest future

*******************************

Thank you so much for staying with me. Really very sorry for not visiting all your arts yesterday 🙏🙏🙏🙏 . I was really tired and sick after a hectic day. I promise to do my best to checkout some of them before the day is over.

Yours lovely.

Bilqees

♥️♥️

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2 years ago

Comments

Lucky for those who have someone who are willing to listen. Just it's funny that some places here, you can hear your neighbor's problem, when they argue they shout like no one's around haha

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Lol. I can relate to this too. We all have eccentric neighbors. Haha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

My dear friend, you are very kind, how happy and motivated your friend must have been when she saw you are with her. It is very good to know how to empathize with people, and to speak in such a way that we can reduce some of the heavy burden on their shoulders.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly ma'am, any little act of kindness could go along way in such times

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2 years ago

This is why they say that sometimes, people just want to hear about your problems not because they care or have a solution, but because they are just curious (I am guilty of it sometimes). This is why these days whenever I ask someone to tell me what is bothering them and they are feeling reluctant, I will just back off because it might be something I may not be able to handle. But sometimes, people just need someone to listen to them, so I ensure to give them that listening ear as well

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly dear. I have also adopted such approach in letting them be. You would be surprised that they would later be the one to meet you and tell you what's wrong..... Whenever I am having something heavy on my mind, i rather share it with an online community like nairaland for advice that is a faceless forum . That way, I'd kill two birds with one stone as I might get a possible solution while I also remain anonymous

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2 years ago

The problem with nairaland is that you might end up getting depressed from some of the mumu comments you will get, las las you will end up with more problems than you started with 😆 but amongst the bad comments, there are a few good ones that can help you, that's one of the reasons why I love that platform

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2 years ago

Lol. I no fit laugh abeg. Sometimes when I want to have a good laugh, I just log into NL. Different characters full that site, especially the unteachables. You get to learn alot too, depending on the sections and the type of users you follow

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2 years ago

I normally perch on the homepage, that's where the real fun is 😆 it's only when I need something specific that I go into the different sections to search for it, everything just dey that forum. It's actually there that I came across readcash

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2 years ago

Wow. You learnt about reascash there? That's really amazing. I have heard alot of stories also of people who got their dream jobs through NL..... Scammers sef plenty die for there no b small 😆

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2 years ago

I have been active there since 2016, that forum has seriously helped me a lot when it comes to digital tech. And yes, there are lots of scammers there, but e get where scammers no dey for this naija? 😆

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2 years ago

Comrade pls off your mic, Oyinbo people around 😁

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2 years ago

I have experienced this often time and it's not always easy. One case even dragged me to confront a cultist. I felt deeply felt everything and took the fight to myself but....(it was a slight confrontation though, cultists are deadly). Sure you are better now? Your health

$ 0.04
2 years ago

My dear, pls o don't try to confront a cultist again o! Even though yits a slight confrontation, they are not a normal perzin like you, their eye is not ordinary, head sef no kuku correct .

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2 years ago

Happened to me so many times wow.. I cant even count and you are so kind and sweet

$ 0.02
2 years ago

😁

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2 years ago

Oh dear! Many times. Common thing for the Devil dear.

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2 years ago

Lol 😀. Quite ironic

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2 years ago