All I ever wanted for him.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Epictetus

All I ever wanted was for me to be noticed by him.

All I ever wanted was for him to know he has someone he can talk to.

All I ever wanted was a real genuine smile of his toward my way.

All I ever wanted is for him to know his worth.

All I ever wanted was for him to take a walk to those parks he loves to visit.

All I ever wanted was for him to know his life has just began.

All I ever wanted was to see that carefree smile of his.

I guess all I ever wanted from him was to be happy and know that I'll always be there for him.

But you tell me,how could a ghost make a living soul smile again?..

*******************************

I met Tony at a gala night party,trust me I didn't want to go but my friend pushed me to.

I had worn a well fitted dress with a silt up to the lap that day.

The red dress screamed fire and I loved it, I had worn a sneaker but my friend insisted I wore a heel which after much talks by me I still wore it.

You'll question why I had wanted to go with a sneaker, yeah, you got it right! I get super clumsy in it most times.

My friends, oh those tiny little monsters had assured me they'll be with me every step of the way.

And here goes dumb me who believed every word from their mouth.

I was strolling around the big hall, well not strolling but actually looking for a safe place to rest my tired feet before I fall face flat down on the hard floor.

There goes my miraculous escape at the end of a curtain.

I moved hurriedly there and sat on the floor saving my tired feet from the misery they had found themselves.

I stood up to bounce my feet up when I hit a wall, and surely I know walls can't speak but it seems this is an exceptional one.

I strained my ears to hear the melodic voice again then squeeze my face up when I heard whispers said.

You owe me $50.

I looked up and was faced with the gods hand sculptured being, his beauty was blinding I almost agreed to the amount but my brain woke up and I said in one tone, No!.

Seems like I had poured his drink on him when I stood up,how's that a fault of mine?

That seems to catch him by surprise and there started how journey in life together.

We clicked and got to know each other better and let me tell you this, he has the most angelic voice I've ever heard not like I'd say it to his face,he has great sense of humor and every hour with him seems like just a second.

We got married a year later and lived the most lovingly life you could ever dream about.

We'd go on date even when we were married and everything was just fun.

The shocking pain of his came when I became pregnant and died while labouring,my child didn't make it also and since then, Tony had become an empty shell of himself.

I never wanted that for him as I want him to smile and be happy once more but all my effort seem futile.

Tony's world ended when I died and I'd hear him cry everyday holding my picture closer to his heart,he blames himself for my death and cursed the day he got me pregnant.

It been 8 years now and Tony hasn't moved on,he still yearn for me and wants me back, I need him to be happy because he can't be with a ghost, I will never allow it.

Only if he could see me and see he's never alone.

Only if he could see me and I could tell him to move on and that he wasn't at fault.

All I ever wanted for the past 8 years is for Tony to laugh wholeheartedly.

So please I'm begging the living world, wherever you see my Tony send this message to him so he'd know he deserves love and happiness again,please hug him for me and tell him to move on because I have.

Tell him I'm very happy up here and his cries breaks my heart.

Tell him I said if he truly loves me like he claims then he should stop breaking my heart and move on already.

Tell him I love him so much and wish I can always hear his genuine laughter.

Tell him I wish to see him married with little kids that looks like him.

Tell him I am his number one fan and he is boring me up here with his sad mood.

Conclusion.

We have all lost a lot to life, people we love and care for and wish badly they aren't dead.

Just like the quote above as said,

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Epictetus

One way to happiness is to cease worrying about things that are beyond our powers.

We heal differently but some aren't healing,I know I haven't.

We should know that those who left us want us to move on and never stop living, that's the best way to honour them.

I have tried to heal from this burdensome pain but it never goes away,I think I have a lot of pain deep rooted in me and I don't know which to go battle with first.

Healing takes time and I hope we all find our healing energy.

A smiling face needs a motherly hug, so when you see one please hug them because behind that smile are unshed tears that are filled up inside.

Hug someone today and make them laugh, that seconds of real laugh can heal something in their heart.

Thanks to all that took their time to have this article read and the one written before.

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Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Photo source Unsplash

Writer Balikis

Date:10 May 2022.