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The Old Self Is Gone Blog #149 February 04, 2022 Life is full of turns. Sometimes those turns that we experience could give or make a negative impact on ourselves that leads us to do some negative things. Way back in 2011, an unexpected thing happened in my life where I receive lots of judgment from the people around me. Some may not say it directly to me but as I passed by them, I hear some hurtful judgment from them that creates scars in my heart. Some may not utter words but with the way they look at me, I then know that deep inside themselves, they are judging me with what happened to me. Others directly said it to me and that really made me look down on myself. That leads me to blame myself for the thing that I did. That clouded my mind with so many negative thoughts and lead me to do a wrong act. And that was to attempt suicide. **My old self was a weak one**. Small things made me feel down. Words from other people can bring out the weak side of me and the worst thing is I let it occupy my whole being for a long time. I don't even fight for it. I just cried and cried until I have no more tears to cry on. I remember one time, in our neighborhood, there was a certain place where we can stay if we want to. Every time I have a problem, I usually go there and look towards the sea. On my left side, I can see the bridge where many cars and jeeps were passing by. While looking at it, a negative thought entered my mind. It told me to go up there and jump so I would end the misery that I was experiencing. Many times I thought of it while my tears were continuously flowing down my cheeks. But I thank God that after how many months of being in that situation, I learned to be strong. I learn to ignore what people think of me, though there was still the weak side of me, slowly I overcome it and hide it deep down in myself. **My old self was full of negativity.** So many negative thoughts that I entertained. Those prevent me from thinking of the good things that happened around me. Those hinder me to let myself be happy at that moment. Those prevent me from discovering things that I am capable of. **My old self followed the opinions of others**. Many times I listened to others because what I thought before was it was for my own sake but little did I know those only caused me to lose myself. Those slowly lose my voice and my opinions on some matters. That made me think that I was born useless. **My old self didn't know how to fight for her right**. I sometimes let others fool me. I let them use me for their sake and the worst feeling that I felt at that time, it's the feeling that I am just a nobody. **Remembering that old self of mine made me proud of myself today**. I am proud of who I become because of those experiences that I have. I am happy that I am now free from it. Free from those negative thoughts though I still have a little of it right now, it isn't like before that almost all of myself are occupied by it. **I am free from letting others' opinions dictate my life**. As of the moment, I learn to be me. To be who I am without minding people who will like me or not. I can now say, **this is my life and I am the only one who will rule it.** The old self that is full of negativities is now gone and I am happy to see the new me who keeps stronger each day. That's for my blog today! Thank you for clicking this article today. Have a nice day to all!

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This is me, 🧕****BCH_LOVER**** 🧕once again. Thank you for your time today. https://read.cash/r/BCH_LOVER God bless and Keep safe you all! Before leaving, please hit the 👍button. Thank you so much! You can also reach out **here**. https://noise.cash/u/lheeshan

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