Permission Denied

The passing of my Gramps was so sudden that it shocked us all. I bet my Mum hasn't even absorbed the whole situation fully but she has no choice but to keep moving since no one will process the burial of my Gramps aside from and it's because she is the only child left of him. Processing the burial preparations and the wake is a busy job. Not to mention that my siblings aren't the type of people to care to help or offer their help to you when you are in need. They are more of a type to just watch you work until you call them out.

I know that my Gramps wouldn't be revived to life even if I fly back home now. They all said to me here that he is dead already and I can do anything about it that even if I go back home now, nothing would happen. These people just say what they want without asking for my real purpose of going home. I'm not going home to revive the dead, I'm going home for my weary mother. She is already emotionally exhausted from what happened to her father, yet she still has to do the tasks all by herself.

I want to come back home as early as possible to assist her, so she can rest for a while and mourn properly. I already cried with all I've got last night. I think I will be fine if I saw him for the last time silently lying there on the one side of our house inside his coffin. I made up my mind to ask for permission from my Boss and pray that she would permit me to come home earlier than the date we agreed on last time. Since I have more free time in the afternoon yesterday, I checked updated information about the travel guidelines for domestic flights on the website of IATF and some of the airlines.

It says that it requires passengers to have a Barangay Residency Certificate coming from your local LGU which is your destination, then attached it on your approved S-Pass form that you have to apply for it online. It is also required to have a Negative RT-PCR test, fully vaccinated or not. Lastly, a vaccination card and you should be fully vaccinated or have received a booster shot. Partially vaccinated and unvaccinated people aren't allowed to travel, exemptions are only for people who have medical conditions which they can't take vaccines but they have to prove it by bringing a medical certificate. The requirements are such a hassle to comply with. Still, we can't complain about it since the restrictions are on Level 3 and the IATF just issued a, "No vaccine, No ride Policy".

It made me think twice about my decision and I became hesitant right after reading the travel guidelines. I'm not concerned about getting those certificates. It is easy to obtain them. I'm just worried and nervous about having to take an RT-PCR test for Covid-19. Aside from the fact that it hurts when they took a sample in the debts of your nose, I'm also worried and nervous about the results. What if I got positive but just asymptomatic? My plan would get canceled, what's more? I'll get quarantined for two weeks and get tested again before I can go out. Life in an isolation room isn't easy as just lying in your room all day when you are lazy to do anything. It's making you insane from the boredom you get from only seeing the same walls and the same scenery every day.

I was once quarantined for two weeks during this pandemic, not because I got exposed to Covid-19 but because I got chickenpox. It's making me insane. I thought that I'll lose my mind there. I have been seeing the shadows on the wall differently. It's like they are moving and going to get closer to me, so I often wrapped myself in a blanket. Sometimes, I even hear some whispers but I can't understand them, so I just plugged my earphones most of the time.

In the evening when my boss got back home, I summon all my courage to tell her my plans even though I know that the results would be 99% denied. I just want to gamble that 1% left in my positive chance. As expected, yes, it was denied. Though I know that this was going to happen since Boss often thinks practical, I still hold on to that small chance and got hurt in the end. She said if only I have already a replacement, I can go home anytime. However, I still don't have one, so I really got to find someone to me replace in my position. She begs me for consideration since she said she really needs an assistant in the morning every time she goes to work.

I just nodded and went silent. I knew it. It is surely hard to travel right now, so I also just accepted it. It is really not good timing to travel. I surely have to wait until the restrictions moved to Level 2 for easier travel and fewer requirements.

It is surely hard to be working far away from home. You can't come back anytime that you wanted to. If I can go home next month, I surely wouldn't work far from home again.

Anyway, thanks for being here with me!

• Images edited from Canva

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