Things That Make Us Always Endure Even in Unhealthy Relationships

Everyone will definitely need a relationship in his or her life. We too, we need friends, we need other people in our lives. Likewise, I need parents, friends, family, a partner who loves me. You also definitely need someone in your life, whoever it is, we all have valuable people in our relationships.

We need other people, we need friends, We need a partner who loves us, that's why we maintain our relationship with them, we maintain closeness with them. However, even so, not all relationships in our life are okay. There are relationships that really hurt us, there are relationships we are better off leaving. Relationships that we try to keep, but our partners in relationships don't do the same, they might even ignore us, they don't care and look down on us.

There is a partner who is continuously abused by their partner but persists, or a child who is continually asked for money, is employed and bullied by their peers but is still friends with them, or a man who is dating a woman, and he is only used to deliver the pick up, but that woman has another love affair behind her. Incidents like this are not far from our lives, events like this are around us, maybe even we or the closest people around us have experienced it.

The question is, why does someone stay in such a relationship? What causes a person to remain in a relationship that is not in their favor ?, or to put it in slightly better words, why do they remain in a relationship that is not good for him or her?

On this issue, I learned that psychotherapists believe that our relationships with other people reflect what we think about ourselves. For example, if we don't respect ourselves, our friends won't respect us either. They will not want to defend us, often suddenly cancel their promises, or even forget our whereabouts. They won't consider our feelings and needs, because we don't either.

After I examined this issue, it turned out that there are three things that can cause us to continue to be in unhealthy relationships, in relationships that are not very good for us. These three things are:

• Low self-esteem

A person who feels insecure will assume that the bad behavior his partner has committed against him is because he deserves it. Suppose you are hired by your friend who was ordered and used, you feel uncomfortable but you tell yourself it's okay, who am I? I am stupid, poor, etc. These are the things that get you used, and the things that make you disrespected.

The bottom line is we have to remember that everyone deserves good treatment from others. You have to be kind to the people around you, as well as them. Believe that you deserve better treatment from those around you, everyone has the same rights, so don't get yourself treated badly by those around you. If not you, then who else will stand up for themselves.

• Fear of being lonely

The fear of being lonely can also get you caught up in an unhealthy relationship. Because we tend to fear being ignored and ostracized by our friends, it makes us accept and allow their bad behavior to us. We know that we are used and hurt, but because we are afraid to feel lonely we ignore it, and what's worse is that we accept their treatment of us.

Don't be afraid to feel lonely, when we feel that our relationship is getting unhealthy, that's when we have to move on from the relationship, we have to move on. There is no need to be afraid of not making friends, trust and believe in yourself, that you can get more valuable friends, friends who care and want to defend you.

• Become a caregiver

The last thing that keeps us in bad relationships is that we ignore our needs by being attentive to the needs of others, this is when we only feel valuable when we care for others when we give others. We ignore our own needs because we are too kind to others so that we are taken advantage of by others.

For this last reason, it doesn't mean we shouldn't be nice to others. I feel that goodness is in a different dimension, we have to be kind to others, and we have to help those in need. However, not because we feel good about doing it, or because other people think we are good, but because we really have to. That's when our kindness doesn't become the thing that worsens our relationship.

If we do good just to be accepted by others, it will tire us out. It will make us used by others. Doing good for that purpose will get us stuck in unhealthy relationships. Do good because you have to do good, help because that's what you have to do, and don't expect anything in return from them, do good to make the world a better place.

In conclusion, ask yourself to evaluate your relationship. Do you feel more comfortable, feel more courageous, and feel valued? When that happened to him. If you answered all of these questions with a "yes," then the relationship is worth maintaining.

The bottom line is that our best friends also have bad days too sometimes, sometimes you may feel disrespected or feel uncomfortable with them, you can forgive that if only once or twice. However, if you continue to feel this way when dealing with him, this is a signal for you to move on.

That's all my writing today, hopefully this is useful.