Why I'm not confident in my self?

Do you know my real me? Do you see me? I know, all of you didn't know my face. Sometimes, i feel I'm ugly and not confident in my face and body.

Why I don't have confidence?

In my school, I'm the one in the students that are in the list in feeding. My weight is for my age. I'm 13 years old but my weight is 24. I'm too thin, as is very thin.

when the school need to see our weight, of course the students in the back want to see what is our weight. Sometimes, I don't want to check my weight because the students will see my weight too. Some students said that I'm too thin. That's the one reason why I'm not confident and shy in real life. I'm just naughty in virtual because then didn't see me and they didn't know how thin is me. No one can bully me in online because they didn't know that I'm thin. I don't also want to report in our school because i see some students that talk each other and i feel that there topic is about to me. Then will see my thin body. I don't also want to participate in acting, dancing and sports because my body is thin so when they see me, I'm being so thin.

Actually, some students like me already said that I'm too thin. I hear it when my other students are walking and talking. Before, when our classes are finished, i walk alone because i don't have any friends. My mother didn't go in the school because I'm not young so i can go home alone. While walking, some of my classmates are in the front of me. I hear their saying and they didn't know that I'm in the back. I heard that (ang payat talaga ni ****). Yes, they said that I'm too thin but i just ignore it and acting that i didn't heard it. I'm just walking fast and acting that i didn't see them. Then when we go to school again, i didn't talk to them.

My brother also bully me sometimes. Sometimes, my brother hold my hand to check how thin is me and check his hand too. He bully me that I'm thin and there's space in his hand. He said that when there's strong wind my body will sweep away because I'm so thin. But i just ignore it and just make it a joke. I just said that (ako ang susukat madaya ka ehh.) Then i will cheat it and said that he is thin that me🤣. But sometimes i also feel that I'm ugly because of his. Sometimes, i just go in the bed and put a pillow in my head and cry😔.

I'm ugly?

Sometimes, i feel that I'm ugly. Why I'm ugly? Why I'm so thin? Sometimes, i question it to my self.

Sometimes, I don't want to see my face in the mirror because i see my thin body. I see my bones when I'm inhale. I also see my bones in my shoulder but i didn't see a boned in the shoulder in the other people.

When i take a picture, sometimes i always delete it because i see my body. I just picture my face and i didn't picture a whole body because my family and I will see how thin is me and I'm ugly there.

When our teacher said that we need to dance or make a vlog, sometimes i don't want to submit a performance task because my classmates will see it and i feel that they are laughing because of my body. I just close my eyes when i will submit a video and didn't visit my Facebook.

I don't want to go outside sometimes and go with my mother because our neighbors said (ang payat ng anak mo). Some people also look at me because of my body. So i just rarely to go outside. I just in the house everyday and using cellphone or playing with my brother and the baby in our house.

I'm thankful that i have a supportive parents. They said that i will healthy soon, just eat a healthy food. When they also watch my video, they said that i didn't need to be shy when they see my video because they said, I'm your mother. They also said that I'm not so thin. I'm very thankful for my family that they here to me🥰.

Thanks for reading my article 💚

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