The Withered Promises

Once I believed that love makes the world a beautiful place to live until that belief was taken away from me one day.

I used to think that love can heal everything. Hatred, sadness, betrayal, loneliness and even enough to make a person stay, but it's not.

I am a simple person. I have a good and stable career. A loving family, supportive friends and a sweet and loving boyfriend. We are in a relationship for more than 7 years now. We started dating when we were at second year college. We studied at the same school. He took up Bachelor of Science in Education while I took up Bachelor of Science in Nursing.

After we graduated, we are lucky because we both passed our licensure examinations. I started working at one of the private hospital near our Municipality but he did not pursue his career of being a teacher, and one day I was shocked of his news. He said, he wants to enter the Military. At that moment of time, I don't know what I would feel. I was disappointed? No! Scared, yes I'm scared. Scared is the exact word to describe what I really felt at that moment. I don't want him to enter the Military because I am afraid to lose him.

Every time I think about him entering the Military my heart aches and I can't help my self crying. As a supportive girlfriend, I let him even if it kills me. It's his dream to serve the country and who am I to stop him. I prayed for his safety everyday of my life.

The day of his graduation he looks very happy. I am proud of him and his achievements. Since then, our time together has lessen. We were both busy with our chosen careers and every time his on a mission, I have a lot of worries in mind. I am so afraid that one day I may receive a message that he is gone from the battle. That's the last thing that comes in my mind though I can't really help it.

For me, our relationship was perfect. Although we don't always see each other but at least we made sure that we have time for each other. I remember the moment he proposed for marriage, that was one of the happiest days of my life. He went to the hospital where I worked holding a bouquet of flowers in his hands, at the back of him stands my co-workers while holding placards that says: Will you marry me? And then he knelt down in front of me and smile. He looks so handsome in his Military uniform. I hugged him tight and I said "YES".

I couldn't ask for more in my life. I can say that my life is perfect until one day my boyfriend collapses at their camp. They rushed him to the hospital. I was panicking at that time, it's like I forgot that I am a nurse and I don't know what to do anymore. I guess this is the feeling if your patient is your loved one. He undergoes a lot of examinations, I was there for him all the time. I need to be strong for us.

My boyfriend diagnoses was leukemia. I looked at him laying at the hospital bed and it makes me cry. My heart is aching and it feels like the world has fall down on me. Why? Of all people why him? We are still planning to build our own family. We still have a lot of dreams to fulfill, we still want to travel and explore a lot of things together. At the lowest part of our lives I know that he wants me to be strong and I really did tried to be strong. I needed to!

He undergone bone marrow transplant but after how many months his health is still deteriorating. I was losing hope but I always chose to pray and asked for Gods miracle to save my only love. It really hurts seeing him losing his black hair, losing weight and losing his strength. The person who once to be strong and mighty, fighting a lot of battles for the country but facing a different battle now. A battle that is so hard to win.

I am always scared and afraid to lose him. I'm afraid that he won't be able to come home from the battlefield. But now, I am more afraid to lose him right in front of me. He holds my hand tight and smile at me though tears kept falling from his eyes, my tears falling like a waterfalls too. That moment was the most heartbreaking time of my life, the moment when I am losing my first and only love, my soon to be husband, the supposed to be father of my children but he is leaving me. I don't want to let go of his hands but he let go mine. He can't hold on any longer and it feels like my heart was ripped apart.

It hurts, it really hurts a lot. The moment I lost him was the moment I realized that I don't own him but God. The rightful owner was taking him from me and who am I to complain.

I know that he is happy now, right up there. No more battles to win and no more pain to handle.

*Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. 😍😘