Unfocused Mind, Lutang Moments and crazy month

Today is March 15, 2022, and nahh rent for my boarding house is waving again time flies so fast it's like I only paid yesterday for my rent but here now another payment for another month so I must grind more for it.

Every day is another day, and many days I swear to myself that I would change for the better, but here come my daily promises that are useless. I swear that I will quit thinking about those people who might hurt me by thinking them but I failed to do that, I also swear that I will take care of myself and avoid drinking alcohol but this month of march I'm prone to alcohol like Redhorse is always waving at me, haha but to be honest making myself drunk won't help but what I get after is body pain and headache after.

I feel like I'm killing myself gradually, but as I've said every day is another day and hope is always present-day by day so I will never give up swearing again and will make a self promises again. I remember in my last article that I wrote about my goals in purchasing a cp but here now I failed again to create a daily article and to earn at least $1 a day. Maybe now I believe that promises are meant to be broken.

This month I felt depressed like I live my life in missearable way which there is no one in my side to talk to physically, and thats being alone drive me to drink alcohol and Redhorse is my only freind qho can aid a little in my boring life alone in boarding house. This past days, I noticed to myself that there is something strange happening, like Im not in focused of what Im doing due to overthinking and lutang months hits me. And let me share to you the strange thing I did of my lutang days haha.

Leaving the keys inside my room and locked after.

• When I go on duty to my work I always locked my room and bringing my keys for the security ( Kahit wala namang pweding manakaw sa loob Lol ), But one time due to my lutang moment I forgot to bring the key but I already locked the door so I have no choice but to go to work and fixed it after my work. After my work I look our landlord to ask if there is a duplicate of the key since I'm too TANGA that time para ewan yung mahalagang bagay its.

Putting an Egg and a lot of water in the pancit canton.

• I don't know what I did this time coz I remember that I go to the store to buy spicy pancit cantoon and egg but what I did is I cook it like pancit lucky Me nodles that there is a soup in it, I add more water in it and I put the egg first but after the seasonings made me woke up and realize that there is no toyo and oil in Lucky Me nodles so I realize na nakoo mababaliw naba ako? Hahah wag naman sana, while looking to crazy people outside made me realize na hindi ako dapat magaya sa kanila haha kaya keep fighting lang.

Leaving the keys in my motorcycle in 24hrs outside

• I keep on looking to my keys that time coz I thought I lost it in my way to boarding house or somewhere else, I got panicked of where I can find my keys coz I cant go back to home without that key. I search all the corner in my room and I found nothing and I search on the road where I usaully walk going to work from boarding house but still I cant find it untill I surrendered searching for it and untill rains comes so I go outside to cover up my motorcycle and finally I found it where we out the keys to start. I forgot to pull the keys after using it hahah TANGA ko noh?

Taking a bath without bringing the towel

• This is one of the most embarrassing moment in boarding coz I forgot to bring my towel inside the comfort room, I only noticed it after when I need to dry my body by the towel so what I did is I go to my room wet since our boarding house have only 3 comfort rooms for 14 rooms I think, so I gently walk away to go to my room while my boardmate wondering while looking at wet and why I didn't bring towel in taking a bath.

So that's my kapalpakan this month, I'm too TANGA right? Hahah but maybe its because of overthinking and due to stressed I felt right now. But I'm on my way of coping mybsituation right now, I'll be back sooner in my focused.

I want to flex my mini speaker where I cut some of the wiring inside due to the malfunction of it, ayaw na kasi mamatay tapos ang ingay panay LOW BATTERY PLEASE CHARGE kakainis hindi na ma turn off kaya ayan haha sira na talaga siya.

Closing thought:

Okay lang maging TANGA basta wag mo basta wag molang ulit-ulitin pa.

Thanks for dropping by ma freind ;*