i Love you my Future wife We’ve probably never met yet, but I have been searching for you ever since I realized I needed someone like you. Will you come? Or have you already passed by? Forgive me but please let me say this. I love you now. I’ve loved you for quite some time and after all, I’ve been through, I love you still.

I’ve never looked at outer beauty so that when our paths crossed, I wouldn’t miss the beauty of your soul. So that when somehow my gaze moves towards yours, I would fall in love with who you are – your dreams, fears, quirks, rants, kindness, intelligence, heart.

Even if opportunities presented themselves – those who would seem to be you – I dared not, because I value you. I value us. I wouldn’t let what we could be, be taken by someone else. I waited until graduation before I looked for you because I wanted to show you that I desire to build a life with you – not with haphazard promises but with something concrete.

I don’t want you to see me living a life without purpose. I want us to reach the purpose of our lives together. I hope you have already found yours too. I got the hang of writing songs so that one day I could sing them to you and show you how much I have thought about you. I learned to dance so that if you were pretty good, our first dance during our wedding wouldn’t be awkward. But even if I would look like a fool, that would be okay. I’d be the fool for you.

I played every musical instrument I could get my hands on. Not a master, but a jack-of-all-trades kind of guy. Because I never knew the instrument you liked and love to listen to. So, well, I might as well try it all. And even if I lose my voice to singing and my body would grow weak of old age, I could always play your beautiful music that would transcend words.

I learned how to cook so that I can make you the best breakfast whenever you’re sick or too tired. I tried to acquire the skill of doing a decent massage so that I could give it to you whenever your body ached.

I went on many adventures in my life. I want to make sure that you wouldn’t be bored with me. I’d like to tell you my stories until we’d fall asleep.

I’m studying to draw, so that one day, I would be able to draw your wonderful face.

I could never be perfect for you even if I tried with all my might – because I’ve finally understood my imperfection.

I don’t know who you are yet. Or maybe I do. But know that I’ve done these things because I love you – because I want you to notice me. But probably when you see me, you would see my imperfection. No, I’d like you to see my imperfection. I ‘d like you to see how broken I am. I dream of us. I dream of doing simple things with you. I dream of your good mornings and goodnights. I dream of smelling the fragrance of your hair. I dream of nights laying beside you and just talking until we fall asleep. I dream of long walks. I dream of driving you to work. I dream of camping and looking at the stars with you. I dream of the breakfasts that I would cook for you.

I dream of hearing your stories every day I dream of comforting you when you cry. I dream of making you laugh with my corny jokes. I dream of staring at your smile. I dream of you being annoyed with my quirks and yet you choose to love me still. I dream of watching movies with you all snuggled up in a blanket. I dream of having cups of coffee with you.

I dream of just looking at your eyes and knowing what you mean. I dream of looking at your face with only the twilight reflecting its beauty. I dream of introducing you to everyone else who have been earnestly waiting with me for you to come into my life. I dream of having the joy knowing that someone is waiting for me to come home. I dream of having someone who chooses to stay with me even if she does not need me. I dream of holding your hand tight in the moments of joy and the seasons of pain.

I dream of marrying you. I dream of a life with you. I dream of loving you with all I have. I dream of growing old with you. And if you finally read this, know that I am real.

This is not just some silly literary thing. And I am constantly searching for you.

I feel it when I can’t share my joy. I feel it time and time again when my daily routine becomes waking up, eating, going to work, and then going back home. I’m starting to lose hope that someone would choose to stay with me. It’s also becoming hard for me to know what’s real. It’s becoming difficult for me to open myself to other people because I don’t want someone else to be my best friend. Not one of them should be my best friend. I want it to be you. But in restricting myself from opening up, I don’t want to make the mistake of not letting you in my life.

Where are you? I don’t know how much I could take walking on this road alone anymore. Please come sooner. And if by any chance it is you who finds me first and somehow I have grown hard, I pray that you would break me open. Please break me apart until you see the real me behind all my jokes and smiles. Do not give up on me.

Call me hopeless romantic, but truth be told, this is how I love you. And I don’t want to stop loving you.