@zellypearl
Forced Marriages
**Silly!** What were you thinking? What exactly were you expecting? Finding a soul mate is all but a lie, cooking up weird and lame stories just to satisfy our longing for fantasy and fairy tales. If falling in love or finding one's soul mate was real and not just a myth then our forefathers would have first experienced or encountered it. Why do you even believe in love at first sight? That's not even a thing, I mean how do you fall in love by just meeting someone for the first time? Cut the crab Sophia, its high time you accept your fate and get married to Mr.Johnson, and stop dreaming or talking about finding love and soul mate. That is never gonna happen, maybe not in this lifetime, you can try again in the next but for now, you really should get yourself prepared because Mr.Johnson will be coming with his family members soon to ask for your hand in marriage. **Hello!** I am Sophia, 19 years old. I wish to live a little longer and experience life for myself before thinking about marriage but my mom already thinks I should be in an old man's house whom she calls my husband. She doesn't want me to talk about **love** or **soulmate** of a thing. She doesn't believe in falling in love or finding true love and happiness. She thinks that being married is some kind of an achievement, not minding if it is at the expense of one's happiness. My mom doesn't care any less, she just needs the dowry, and she does everything in her power to make sure she gets it even if it means marrying us off at an early age. Speaking of such, my elder sis is already married with two kids. My mom forced her to marry a businessman in Lagos and she did this at the age of 18 years. Quite early right? Now you understand why she thinks I have overstayed my welcome at home. She wants me out, yes she wants to send me off. Crying every night seemed to be the only resolution for me since I can't do anything about it. I have pleaded with my mom many times but she has already made up her mind and there is absolutely nothing anyone could change that. And this is what I believed until after receiving a call from Richard which later made me have a change of heart and speak up for myself. Richard, my very good friend called one night and realized I was sobbing, he asked me about the situation at my home and what has been going on. I couldn't tell him my mom wanted to marry me off. Richard wouldn't take it lightly. No! It wouldn't settle well with him. Richard is a very good friend that knows me rather too well. He knows the plans I have for marriage and the things I expect. So him hearing about such a thing might make him lose his mind. I wasn't going to risk it by telling him so when he asked about home and everything, I only told him all is going on well which is an obvious lie. How much I wanted to let Richard know the truth about what's going on back here at home. How much I wish I can scream and be let loose as this is suffocating. I really wish I could tell someone everything and let them share in my pain and burden but I can't. It seems this burden is mine and mine alone, it can't be shared and shouldn't be. I realized I needed to deal with my problems and not get others involved. I made up my mind to let my mom know that I wasn't going to married anyone except my heart says so. I wasn't going to be forced to marry an old man. I can't be forced into marriage because I knew too well that I will suffer the whole of my life. I had to muster all the courage to let the truth out. To let my mom know my decision on this issue. And even though she wouldn't treat me the same again after that, I don't care I just can't do anything against my will or heart and that was final. ***PS: This is just based on my thought about issues of arranged and forced marriages*** What do you guys take on arranged marriage? Are you a supporter of such actions or activities? Do you feel or think it is right and there is nothing wrong to force marriage and marital life on a person even when they aren't ready for it? Let's hear your contribution and opinion on this, thank you! ***Still your baby girl ;)*** ***To my faithful readers and wonderful sponsors, my heart goes out to you guys. Thank you for making my journey here a fun-filled and exciting one. Thanks for trusting and supporting my work too. I pray that God bless you all real good :)*** ***16 August 2021*** Image https://pixabay.com/photos/bride-wedding-field-fashion-asian-1822587/
34 comments
If that will happen to me. I rather ran away..
I trust you😂😂 run far away lol
Forced marriage is just like you're being deprived of your own freedom thus, no one should be in this kind of situation. If my parents would let me marry someone I don't love, then I would forget them as my parents because they forgot that I am their daughter in the first place.
Be calmed Nov😅 Take a deep breath and exhale lol. Your parents will never do that to you. Force marriages aren't good and it shouldn't be encourage
What if one day? Kidding! 😁 yeah and I love my parents because they don't force me to marry someone I don't love.
Sure dear and there is no WHAT IF lol
Well, best to scream it out Sophia. If I were in her shoes I bet I would feel the same. Arrange marriage is a big no for me. But some other arrange marriage is quite successful and end good but it's only few.
It's a bigger NO for me grace😂 Few get to that point and come out successful but even with that, it's still a no for me
I am not a fan of arranged marriage. It's like you are stealing someone's right and life from them. Just imagined the loneliness and sadness that the two person will feel in that type of marriage Marrying someone you don't love sucks. I can't even stand being with someone whom I don't like. Why don't we just let people marry the person they love? 😥 I am glad that the character in your story fight for what she wants. Niceeee story beauty 🤗
It sucks my dear. Causing two people pain and heartaches all in the name of marriage isn't worth it
Truueee.
It's a big no for me regarding the force marriage. Your happiness is a countless. The marriage should be for partners who are having mutual feelings and understandings. The regrets will also there if you let the force marriage happens into our lives.
So many chaos and challenges will arise and it always do in marriages but it takes two people who genuinely agreed to walk down that lane together to face those challenges head on and come out successfully and not those who were being forced into it in the first place.
If your mom arrange your marriage, better run away and never come back.
😂😅😅 funny you. Most times you talk like my country people lol. I may take that advice if I need it but I don't think I will need it since my parents aren't the type to arrange marriages for their children
Good for you
I totally detest it...marriage should be based on happiness, if this occur certainly chaos lies ahead. Thanks for writing on this
Marriage is based on so many things and I don't think its right to force anyone into eternal pain and suffering.
The best is to confide on someone instead of keeping such within yourself. Someone suppose to give you mind and tell you what to do since you're are afraid. And in another way, you can fight for yourself if you have the mind or courage to do so. Arranged marriage is not the best because love will not exists. Happiness will always seize from your face. So, arranged marriage is not the best.
Yeah all you said are true but this isn't about me. But thanks all the same for the advice
This happens mostly in a movie. But I know someone who was fixed marriage. She's marrying the guy she doesn't even know. And the worst part is that she has a boyfriend. She doesn't have a choice because the mother of the guy and her mom were friends and they wanted their children to be together. Right now she's living in Japan with her husband and kids.
Oh how sad this can be. Parents most times create lasting problems for their children
My parents attempt.to marry me with a man which I didn't love, but I fight for my right and I marry the man I loved.
🥂🥂 lovely! Raising the class for you. I am glad you declined and fought for what you wanted
there are countries where arrange marriage is common
Yes. Very common and I am always like, how do those people feel about it? Perhaps they are used to it because it's their norm and culture so to them it might not make any difference
> ery common and I am always like, how do those people feel about it? Perhaps they are used to it because it's their norm and culture so to them it might not make an i do believe they are used to it but for sure some who had found their true love would be very desperate to get married with their loved one instead of that arranged one..
Yes. They would be eager to hey married to the one they love than the arranged one
No to fixed marriage. It is not any differebt from forcing a person to stay with someone he barely knows. It's an insult to the real concept of marrige: bring together two lovers by virtue of law, and God's help. Martiage is not just joining through paper. Even in some cases, it actually works out that the people eventually fall in love with each other, but oftentimes it does not. It only encourages rebellion, loveless connection, and a messed up family, where the child will not be happy.
Messed up family indeed. And every time such home are always having one problem or the other. It's very rare for genuine love and unity to exist in such situations
Yes. For sole reason, LOVE should NOT be forced.
No, it shouldn't dear
I say no to this one. Choosing the one who we will spend our lives with should be our own choice and not our parents. This is somewhat violating our freedom.
It is and this is why I always feel sad for most of the countries whose ladies are being given or sell off in marriage without their free will.