I was wondering what or how would life be when we grow old? When the time comes when children leave their homes and build a new nest of their own.
A long nonsense post ahead, so when you get to the point of not wanting to read it just stop and cancel it.
Just recently we have celebrated father's day which fall on every third Sunday of June annually. Our family, I mean my family where I was born and raised was facing a great trial for the nth time regarding the lot where my parents built their new house here in our place. I had this article regarding the past family feud where my mother's older siblings seized her from everything she had inherited from their late parents. Now, their cousin who happened to be our neighbor and an accomplice of my mother's sisters is building a new house in the empty lot which is his. The problem was he ordered his laborers to get passed the border line which makes the terrace of the new house closed. When my father built the new house, he didn't even touched the boundary so as to make space for a pathway or front yard. Now that this cousin of theirs was to build a house, he dared to get pass the boundary. Actually, it wasn't him but his son who is a police officer. Well, he knew the law but why does he allowed himself to be manipulated by his father.
This may seem out of the topic but let me just go on. The tension was a li'l bit weakened when one of my younger brother texted everyone of us to celebrate father's day on Sunday. He is also a father whose son is staying with my parents because he and his partner weren't in good terms.
Father's day was a modern holiday because I can't recall if it was ever mentioned during our elementary days. It was a day to honor fathers and father figures of their contributions in our lives. It is not only in honor of fathers but with female parents also who had stood as both mother and father to their child or children. The celebration includes different traditions that may be of a simple greeting card, phone calls, posting on social medias, family meal or a simple getaway. In short, anything that may show appreciation of the father.
June 20
We arrived at my parents house in town almost noon as no one was available to come pick us up. Our eldest sister and her kids were already there helping our two younger brother with the preparation of the foods.
In every occasion, we made sure that everyone is present because it seems the family wasn't complete when one is not around. We don't feel the contentment, as if there's a void when one is not present. It was always like a family day for us. Three of us were already married while the two younger brothers are living on their own- independently. The only ones living with our parents was our youngest brother who is still a college student and the son of one of our younger brothers.
When we were kids, we always fought with each other. Our father was the strict father you might not like to be with because of we were just like on martial law. No one should disobey rules. Though I can't remember a time when he ever held a hand on me, his iron fist was more than enough to strangle a growing teenager.
As time goes by that we have our own family, we missed the presence of our parents, we reminisce those days that we fought for one thing and laughed about it. That every time we get together, we make up with each other by listening to each others problems and giving advice on what should be done to avoid messing up all the more.
Although mother's day was already done the past month, we still greeted our mother. I did it via phone call and my siblings did it on social media but we didn't gather to celebrate.
We celebrated the day with a simple meal at lunch with pinikpikan, a viand of chicken butchered the Igorot way with slices of slab of salted meat. Some veggies added to it also. Some fruits like pineapple which we took from the kaingin, watermelon and cucumber. A homemade ube icecream made by one of our younger brother for dessert. See, it was just as simple as that but the bonding was more worth it.
Our eldest sister who planned to go home ahead of her children was held by our parents so she had no choice but to stay. However, we had a very kill joy sister-in-law who never bonded with us nor did she consider us her family nagged at her husband that they go home. So that by dinner we were the only ones who dined. Their boarding house was just some 10 minute walk from our parents. Why do they have to stay in a boarding house when my parents house has 3 more spare rooms with its own living room, kitchen and a comfort/bath room? This sister-in-law of ours never wanted to be with us but a very jealous wife.
June 21:Unplanned and unexpected family getaway
By early morning, our father went on his usual rountine. A morning walk from their house to town or at a coffee shop at the highway for a cup of coffee. There he met his friends and learn some news around the community. He instructed my other younger brother, the one who's next to me to check on the car in the morning before he would leave for his work. By 7am, this younger brother of ours came to tell our father who just came from his morning routine what was wrong with the van. Our father decided right there and then to buy a new alternator at a nearby municipality. He jokingly added that we might as well go for a picnic in Cervantes because we were all present. That's when we insisted to go rather than let the day pass with their thoughts being bothered with the current situation we are in. To breathe some air and refresh our mind and body.
Our eldest sister by that time was cooking siopao which she prepared the night before. The kids were heartily enjoying it as their breakfast because they don't want to eat some rice. After the siopao was all done, my sister asked her eldest daughter to help her prepare some cakes.
My mother called our other brothers but the younger, the second to the last child was the one who was able to come. Our brother with the nagger wife didn't receive the call. Me and my youngest son was jokingly asked to stay and feed the hogs but I declined because I didn't want to miss it, yeah. Our youngest brother who was still busy with his modules voluntarily said he will stay because he had to finish his modules by Wednesday.
We left at 9:40 am and it took an hour for my father and younger brother to buy the needed alternator when we reached the said town. My mother and other brother went to the town's market and made some purchases of fruits and fish and others. By almost noon, we were already at Cervantes and was held by police at the checkpoint. They told us resorts weren't open yet due to the risk of the COVID-19 and the ASF virus in Tagudin. They told us the river was the only one available so we just agreed. My brother who was the driver, didn't get us to the river but headed to one of the nearest resorts just some meters away from the highway. Before we were able to reach the resort, heavy downpour met us. We decided to just go to the nearest one and inquire if they were open for accommodation. My sister suggested the one which they had gone before where there was a fish spa and a hot spring but the kids were already restless and fussy. They got out of the car as soon as the it stopped at the resort's gate. They didn't even wait for us to check if it was open to public that they barged in before the worker came to talk with us.
Because the kids already went in and the worker said they were open that we had no choice but to get our things out of the car. The heavy downpour lasted not longer than 10 minutes and we were thankful with it so that it won't spoil the day.
Nevertheless, we got a li'l disappointed to see how the resort was. The entrance was well maintained so that it has a welcoming ambiance. Lots of flowers and a large birds' coop was also present with dove and a variety of parrot inside. But the inside was totally less maintained. There were two pools for kids and another two for adults. The smaller pool for kids which was filled with animal figures where they can slide through was filled with tilapia fingerlings. The kids had no choice but to have the only one available to swim at.
The two pools for adults were also filled with growing tilapia. In short, it was turned into a fish pond. The surroundings was obviously less kept out of grass. Weeds were growing in places they can thrive. It was a wide place as it has more or less cottages with two view deck overlooking the whole swimming pools. It also has a children's playground with swings and another area for basketball court. The playground had weeds almost to the knees.
Maybe it was due to the pandemic that these places were closed to public that it was already less maintained. There were lots of fruit trees such as mango but it's fruit was already gathered, coconut which we would like to have some but the boys can't climbed it, santol, and there were also guyabano fruits which fell to the ground. My brother asked the worker if we can pick some of the guyabano and he agreed.
My brothers and sister prepared the foods to be cooked. Well, I can't do much so I just had to look at the kids because they invaded the kids pool with the fish in it. It was a dangerous place because moss had already grown at the tiled floor, they might slip and get injured.
They enjoyed swimming though we did not bring their proper swim wears because it was left at our houses. My parents soon joined them. My youngest didn't want to miss it, that he insisted to swim also.
We had our simple lunch at pass 1pm. We enjoyed it with grilled fish, letson kawali, chicken, and fruits like watermelon, mango and cucumber. The cake as our dessert.
Our parents who took a bath at the shower room after they were done swimming took my youngest to the swing. I joined the kids swimming after lunch, my sister didn't join in. I was disappointed the second time as I submerged myself into the water. It was heavily filled with chlorine because you can easily smell it as you swim. I didn't last long at the pool. I called the kids to get out of the pool and take bath at the shower room. They look funny after getting out of the water. They were darkened by the water, they look like they have been under the sun for too long. I asked them to change their clothes after taking a bath else they will be left.
While we were preparing our things at 4pm, the kids took their time to ride the swings. Good thing the dark clouds hovering ahead didn't pour.
On the way, my two kids felt sick. They were prone to motion sickness that they threw up. Maybe they were like me when I was little. I only don't feel sick when I got to ride on my father's car when traveling long distances.
June 22-23
On Tuesday, my sister and her kids went home because of her kids module. We stayed until Wednesday because I still felt tired from the travel and I had to have a prenatal at the hospital.
Because of the trouble my parents were at as of the moment, I have seen how my parents support each other. I can hear them from the other side of our room praying at the middle of the night and at the very early hours of the morning. And on Wednesday, my sister called on phone crying that our old house's posts which was in extension of the new house was being destroyed by the laborers. Those people weren't afraid of doing so when they can clearly see the boundary. Well, they only think of earning money and not considering the welfare of both sides. Damn them.
I thought to myself, will the man I have would support me when I grow old just like what my father is doing with my mother? No matter how strict he was when we were growing but he has endless fondness of his grandchildren, supports his kids with everything he had and what he can and always at my mom's side through thick and thin. Would my children love to come home and share some of their time with us even when they were busy with their own lives? I just hope they will.
Just like any family, we weren't perfect. There were issues that come our way but we try to mend it because life is short. Our father has lots of health issues that he was on maintenance for his hypertension, diabetes and the latest one which is for his prostate. I talked to him about his latest health condition and asked him to have a surgery or any process that can cure him of it. Rather than being bothered with extending their house upwards and won't stay long to enjoy his labors, why not use the money to have a better health. Because honestly, we don't want to lose him yet.
Note: While our parents are still alive, make some time to let them feel you are there for them. Let them feel they are loved and cared for. Life is short and no matter how one hated his parent there'll come a time you will regret why you didn't reach out to your parents when there was still time. You can't turn back time so fill it with memories to cherish.
If you made it this far reading a nonsense, thank you.
06-24-21
z_graeden
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