24hours a Day was Never Enough for a Mother

How often do you wish for the day to extend its light, and the night to stay dark for a longer period? We wish this particular thing to happen when we got lots of things upon our sleeve that needs to be done during the day. And the night not to break into dawn because we had a sleepless night, we only got to close our eyes when it's daybreak.

I know many can relate to this but only a few understands a mother unless one is compassionate enough to wear her shoes.

A stay at home mom with multiple little kids gets to balance her time from house chores, her kids and her husband. She finds it sometimes that even after all the house chores were all done and she gets to rest for a good night sleep of 8 hours, the 24 hours wasn't enough at all. She just feels extremely exhausted.

A mother is lucky enough if she has a hands-on-dad husband who would look after the baby or kids while she takes a nap, helps with the laundry and the dishes that would take her hands off for a little time from working. With little kids or even just one child, a mother tends to multitask juggling 3 or more things in one time. This is what we call physical exhaustion?

But is it only physical exhaustion that makes her look so tired even when she was just staying at home with the kids? No. Yes, the answer is no. Mental exhaustion does and sometimes coupled with emotional distress. And take note moms are prone to post partum depression which was sometimes associated with the thought they can't do other things for the family especially when it comes to financial aspects. And back to mental exhaustion, a mom wakes up still feeling tired after a good nights sleep because her mind was active the whole night though. Her mind was aware and alert of things around. Her list of to-do's goes on and on and that's called mental load which was never a light one. She was made to manage and keep things on track.

Moms with small kids weren't the only ones who feel these but even those with grownup kids. This is what we call worrying. We fret over small things and sometimes wake up at the middle of the night just to check on them and think of what if's.

Here's some of the lists why 24 hours was never enough for a mom:

1. No fun, more work. Most often, mom stays at home to do her chores rather than going out for fun even just for a little while to relieve stress.

2. 24/7 availability. With the new normal on the presence of COVID-19 where children are taught by their parents, it is the mother who is responsible to do so because she was the one available at home. This adds pressure to her shoulders even if she has a babe whom she needs to tend to at night and most of the day. She had to submit and retrieve modules and attends some school meetings if ever there is. When any of the kids is sick, she is their doctor and nurse. It simply is a no-pause time.

3. Moms had to do things on their own. Did you ever experience leaving your babe with your husband on his day off because you need to run errands? How did it go? Di ba, you have to have his nappies ready, his milk bottles ready to use and instruct your husband the right proportion of water and milk formula for one feed? And you have not gone for five minutes yet and your phone's ringing, your hubs calling that your LO is crying that you need to hurry up and get home the soonest. Sometimes they call you every now and then to ask things that needs to be done before feeding and setting the babe to sleep.

Yeah, there's no rest from that whilst when you're alone with the kids you do things on your own, from house chores to taking care of the babe. But when you come home, you will be met with almost everything in the house scattered.

4. Less sleep. That's a given already when one becomes a mom. Stay at home moms tends to be up and about even during at the wee hours of the night because of the babe's needs while a dad sleeps because he needs the energy to work during the day. And at daytime, mom isn't expected to take nap as the babe sleeps because of the tasks that needed to be done. And when the baby's up, she will have to tend to him also.

5. No time for leisure. If there's something that she needs, it is leisure because this plays a vital role in warding off stress and promoting hapiness. But how come she can't even have that time? Because she is thinking of the things she has to do that has to be done before the day ends.

See, simple as it may seem but it is affecting a mom in the long run. Lucky are those who have relatives they can trust their kids from time to time. Someone who won't bother her while she takes a little time for a little time. But, mind you even with a trusted individual a mother just can't seem to stop worrying.

Nevertheless, it is not only stay at home moms that do experience such, working moms are not an exemption.

Did you experienced being too drained and emotionally empty? Too much exposure to exhaustion leads to a more severe condition which is called mommy burnout. The feeling includes perfectionism, self-hate, not bonding with children, intense physical and emotional tiredness, loneliness, guilt of being not a good mother. These feelings leads you to distance yourself from your kids, think of harming them or even done so verbally and perhaps physically and being ashamed of your acts that you feel the inexplicable loneliness and guilt.

Again, a mom is fortunate enough to have a husband who would talk to her to have a little time of herself to be out of the house and be with friends while he will take a charge of the house in her absence. Or a husband who would talk her out for a family time outside the house. Or simply a date while the children at their grandparents or someone to trust them with.

And because we don't have more than 24 hours in a day that would make room for a mom to have some me time, it is important to share your feelings to other moms like you. It helps in relieving that overly fatigued and overwhelming feeling. Simply talking with others make you understand that you're not alone. It helps you to adjust a li'l bit and gain knowledge more about parenting because when a child is growing, even well rounded moms or parents are getting anxious on the parenting role. It may be hard not to think of the simple things that are boxing and kicking your nut shell, but momi I tell you take a li'l break and be off. You need it to get back on track.

06-14-21

z_graeden