When is the right time to forgive?

Does someone hurts you in the past? How long does it take for you to forgive that someone? Do you believe in forgive but do not forget? You might wondering why I am asking these questions, well it is because last night, after our yummylicious samgyupsal dinner and when everyone was a little tipsy, my husband got a heated arguments with his brother. I am used to their arguments like everytime, and as you know no one wants to let their pride down. Everyone was shouting at the top of their voice proving their points of view. Maybe if you just knew them and you heard them arguing like crazy you might get turned off but well they love each other like that. After their heated arguments, the topic has been changed and just like that everyone is on good mood again. 😆

Now going back to our main title, the reason why these brothers are having a very hot conversations was because of their oldest brother. Last year, during pandemic they had a misunderstanding with the big brother. Unfortunately my husband isn't ready to forgive and forget the things that his big brother has done. However his other brothers were on the opposite side. They are willing to forget everything for the sake of the family. About two weeks ago, his big brother came to North Fairview to visit, by the way he is living in Los Baños together with his family. My husband was asked to go there, my hubby on the other hand went without the knowledge that his big brother was there. When he found out about it, he didn't even bother to show himself to his big brother because he has been vocal to everyone even to me that he isn't ready to face him. He was really hurt by what happened in the past. I already shared about it in my last year article. Allow me to share you a little glimpse about it.

During the early pandemic, as we all know a lot of people lost their jobs and that includes my husband and his 2 brothers as well. In their family only his big brother has an stable job and his salary is way above others because he is working as a director of a research center inside UP Los Baños. More or less in times of hardships we can only rely to him because no one in the family beside him is capable to help financially. However that wasn't the case. In the whole duration of pandemic he gave my husband 5000 pesos and his other brother too. Of course we were thankful for that. Little did we know after a month or two he was asking where did the money he gave went to. Like he was expecting we should have make the 5k into something. To be honest the 5k that he give was used to repair our car that time, as we all know car repair is quite expensive. He was disappointed because it seems like we didn't use the money he give into something productive. First and foremost we didn't asked for it and we thought he give it from the bottom of his heart so why after a month you are asking where did the money went? And for just as low $100 dollar you are willing to forget your brotherhood. What a shame right? If we only knew that it will happen that way we should've received that certain amount in the first place. One more thing, it was the first time that he give our family that amount. Anyway, with or without his help we survived the challenges of pandemic.

Because of that, all the hurtful things he has said to my husband even before that incident came back, that lead him to block his wife because for us she is the cause of everything. If you notice that I am really close to my in laws family but there's always an exception on the list. My sister in law,the wife of my husband's big brother is such a pain in my head.😅 I don't want to elaborate anymore the reasons why because we might end up tomorrow if I will mention the things I hate about her. Am I being bad? Well my patience with her ended when she blocked me on fb. Is it because my husband blocked him, does it give her the right to block me as well. Ok so if that is the case why blocked my other sister in law and his husband as well. Mind you she is way educated and much mature than me but she ended up being the immature one here. I haven't see her and refuse to meet her last Christmas, however I am okay with his husband because I don't have issue with him. Whatever his issue with my husband, it will always be between them two. I don't think I have right to mingle because it might get things worse. They are old enough to handle things.

According to my husband, he isn't ready to forgive his big brother, now his two brother however was explaining the things about this and that. I was on the middle of them while they were shouting at each other. It seems like my husband needs more time to heal his feelings regarding with the incidents in the past. No matter how his two brothers insisting that is not the right thing to do, my husband however stay firm on his decision. And that's where their conversations ends. After a while they were all calm and we bid our goodbye because it was already past 2 in the morning.

While we were in the car, my husband just suddenly said that it is not that he didn't want to forgive and forget, what he is asking is for more time to heal. And as his wife I understand him very well. I know time will come that he will eventually get along with his brother and let's just hope that it will happen soon because at the end of the day they are still family. As for me I don't think I am ready to get fine with my sister in law. (evil smirk). Hahaha! I guess being civil is all right but being close to her will never happen.

Thank you for dropping by at my post once again. I know everyone of us have different opinion with regards to forgiving someone. Maybe some of you might agree or not with my husband's attitude regarding his present situation. Honestly I am praying his heart would open up and see things in a brighter way. I know God will always listen and one day He will make it happen.

Lead image from Unsplash