Failed to keep their marriage together
Back when I was a child my greatest insecurity in life is not having a complete family. My mother and father got separated when I was just 3 years old and I was left together with my older brother who is 5 years old that time in my grandmother's care (my father's mom). My mother was working and settled for good in Manila with her other sisters. But there were a few times that I got to visit her since I have an aunt (my father's sister) who was a public school teacher in Quezon City. My only wish that time was for my father and mother to be together again. Fortunately though, my wish was granted when I was 9 years old. Both of them decided to get back in each other arms and married to secure the relationship. That was the time when my mother conceived my youngest brother. My father and mother decided that we should live on our own that is why we move out from my grandma's house but still in the same area. Life was really hard back then but we manage to live. My father was a fish vendor while my mother was a plain housewife. Everything was fine in the early years that my mother and father got together. But years passed that a simple misunderstanding often leads to a serious fight. It has been a toxic relationship already that both of them decided to end their relationship for good. Both of them are at fault and I think it is better for them to be separated because love can no longer save the relationship.
Love isn't enough
I guess love couldn't save the relationship or maybe the love between my mother and father isn't enough to save it as well. They have a lot of excess baggage from the past and they aren't totally heal from it. I witnessed their arguments back then and honestly I am sick and tired of it. I am already in high school and as an emotional teenager I spent most of the time at school than at home to spare myself from the stress and tension between my parents. That could be one of the reasons I am not close with them because they have a lot of time for nonsense arguments than having a family time.
Different Beliefs
My only wish back when I was a kid was to go to church every Sunday with family. It didn't happened though. My father is a Roman Catholic while my mother is a Born Again Christian. Both of them went to church separately. Funny right? I am baptized as Roman Catholic but there were times that I went with my mother at their church. I thought they can manage their differences but I was totally wrong. Sometimes it is the cause of their few misunderstanding. Another reason of their never ending fight is miscommunication.
Miscommunication and Pride
Most of the time when my mother and father had a hot arguments they end up not talking with each other for a few days. We had a small house so I really don't know how they manage not to talk maybe it because of so much pride. Though they will be okay after days but since they haven't had final discussion about their recent fight, eventually it will another cause of arguments. Both of my parents lack communication, they are just full of expectation but they don't communicate well, that I think the reason why they have a shaky relationship.
I believe even in a healthy relationship between husband and wife there will always be a series of misunderstanding. To be honest, my husband and I had some heated arguments in the past too, we also didn't talk for days but he was always the one who will approach me and say sorry. Maybe that is one thing I got from my parent, my so much pride, that is why it is harder for me to say sorry even though I know I am at fault. I am trying my very best to remove this bad habit and recently I think I am improving because on my husband's last vacation we didn't have a petty quarrel. Someone told me, that to be able to have a better relationship someone needs to lower down his/her pride.
Closing Thoughts
To be honest, I envy those family that are together even with all the hardships they have been through. When I met my husband's family, I asked myself if I deserve to be a part of them. I admire their relationship and I told myself this is the kind of family I had always been dreaming of. Although my parents failed their marriage, I honestly hope and wish that my marriage would not suffer the same thing. Right now, my siblings and I have our own families and I am glad that both of my brothers marriage life are good and very far from what we experienced with our own parents. I know, my parents are happy now knowing that their children didn't have to take the same path that they did. They may not made it until the end like what they had promise in their wedding bows but it is better to be separated than continue hurting each other being together.
Disclaimer: All of the things I have written in this article are purely based from my own experience. If you may find something similar to this, it might be just coincidence.
Don't forget to check my previous posts too.
Lead image from Unsplash
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