Do you want me to share my good times with you? Those good days I will refer to once I am old and start repeating myself? I doubt there are any. If you are born for a nickel you will never be a piece of gold. It never was my intention to be a piece of gold so I can live with that. There were no big dreams, no goals. The only thing I knew was I was not wanted, not accepted, bullied, molested, trapped. I tried to survive in the best way I could survive on my own.
At school, not being bullied by other pupils and teachers or molested were the better hours of my life, being ignored the best. At home was a long horror film, living life in fear, without help, knowing the end could be near any minute.
More about my childhood you can read in the kid's diaries.
How to motivate yourself to go on? What is it you like to hear from me? That I am grateful for my life? You are wrong I am not. That I am grateful I am healthy? You are wrong I am not and never was. That I am grateful because I am surrounded by family and friends who love me? You are wrong I do not have any. My only family left are my children. Humans depending on me and forced to share the misery.
The truth is my most memorable day is the day I literally fled for my life. If I wouldn't have found the courage to do that I would be dead by now. The question remains if it was a good thing to do. I hoped to save others with it. Years later I understood it didn't work out that way and the monster is still around destroying people's life.
What did this memorable day bring me? In short more misery and more running, fighting for my life, more hiding. A life living far away from society with the extra responsibility: How to keep the children safe and alive?
Looking back I "made it" because I saved myself. All credit for that is mine. No need to thank others because these others did not care, neither did CPS, the police, the government, wellfare or any God.
Those good memories? I don't have them. Not if it comes to my birth, my birthdays, my time at school, my childhood, relationships, friendships, giving birth, my health, church visits, my jobs, or whatever people say they are grateful for or was the best day in their life. A strange thing to say unless you know your life ends now this very minute.
The only company I had was a person in black at the foot end of my bed. If I think about it he's my best memory, the only one who made me feel safe and I truly miss him.
If you like to give a challenge a chance for a change see here. I wish you good luck.
As humans , we all do not have the same experience at childhood till we grow up. Some live lifes full of joy while others sorrow.
Others get life on a silver platter where they get everything they request for but others are not even liked to be seen around. And such is life , I am not surprised to see if you have no memory that was great or of good times since others have worse lives but all I can say is in life , certain situations are bound to happen and it is all of great importance, (you might not see it as such ) but as time goes on it shows it's significance.
As you fled, it was never a bad idea and it is really a great one and at least a memory to share with people and your children ..
Great submission