It's time

The first day of the Summer vacation.
Schools are closed and I have to help clean the house. Cleaning is cleaning. Everything is taken out of the cupboards and has to be cleaned. How can anything get dirty in our house? We always clean. The housekeeper is at home. She has a vacation too. My mother wrote in a booklet about how she has to clean the house. Each thing that needs to be done. She tells me how to do it. Keeps repeating herself and checks the booklet. If the booklet and all the steps to be taken are wrong she rewrites it. It's all handwritten. I know what she wrote but I am not sure others can read it.
I have to unpack the boxes on the ceiling. What is inside needs to be cleaned too. There's a box with her wedding dress. She says I have to wear it when I get married. I won't wear it, it's ugly. I say I don't want that dress and she's angry again. She hits me with her shoe on my head. She never uses her hands. It's a shoe with high heels, a whip, mats beater, or dog leash.


July 25, 2020
Saturday


I wrote a letter to my grandmother in the hospital.
The postman will take it out of the box and my grandmother will read it. I don't know when but she'll know I think of her. I didn't know what to write. I am not good at making up stories. It's better not to tell granny about my mother. She will not believe me no one does. Even if people see it happen they say it's not true or a normal thing to do.
I am not good enough and not sweet enough. Girls need to be sweet and clean and cook and catch spiders. If they don't do that people will not like you and you are not brave. It's written in the poems family, teachers and classmates write in my poetry booklet. Only one poem I like. It's about me sitting between the cabbage, beets and carrots and dad says everything is for sale except me. It's not true I know it's not. My father has nothing for sale, he doesn't work and I am not special to him.

July 26, 2020
Sunday

Say cheese

Ducks

#kittywu #diary #childhood