It's about politics as usual

It's cleaning the house again. I never see the dirt my mother talks about. Every day is cleaning day and every day the furniture is piled up. Our house always looks like a mess and it has no time to get dirty.
My mother was vacuuming upstairs with one Hoover. She broke it. I had to go with her to the Hoover shop in Rotterdam.. I saw the man look as she showed him what happened. The steel broke. He said it's impossible and she is the first customer who managed to do so. I felt bored in the shop. There's nothing to do and all vacuum cleaners look the same.
My mother bought a new one. This one is for hotels. The man said if she manages to break that one he will give her her money back. He should not say that he doesn't know how long she vacuums each meter of carpet. It takes her two hours if not longer to vacuum one room and if someone disturbs her or the carpet's hair is in the wrong way she starts all over again. We have three vacuum cleaners. There was no need to buy a new one but she wants for every floor it's own vacuum cleaner plus a different one for the stairs.

My dad is not happy with it but she says he needs to shut up because it is her money and she can do as she likes. He asked her to buy me a new coat and some shoes for the winter but she said need to wear what I have till it falls apart. She doesn't care I feel cold and my shoes hurt.

She has many dresses and nearly every dress has its pair of shoes and coat. She wears gloves too. If my dad asks if she bought something new she always says it's old, she already had it. She lies and I wonder why. If it's her money she can buy what she likes. Coats, shoes, vacuum cleaners and... pie and chocolate. She has a sweet tooth and after she ate bags full of it she vomits. She puts her finger in her throat and vomits everything out she ate. I wonder what the bakery would say about that. There's a text underneath each pie which says "Did it taste you?"

Saturday
January 16, 2021


I cleaned the house before I visited Sunday school. It starts at 10 a.m. which means I have to wake up at six to do all the work. Once back home it's Sunday and not allowed to work, go out and have fun. House chorus is not work and my mother's job isn't work either. If clients call she leaves not immediately because it takes an hour or longer for her to get dressed and her hair takes one hour too and the makeup as well. I cannot see any difference and I doubt other people do. Perhaps they are relieved if she arrives or annoyed if she is late. I would be annoyed but I would also never call her.

Sunday
January 17, 2021


The school was okay. It rained so we had to stay inside. I don't care. I don't want to play just sit and have my peace. I watched the other children. Not all of them but a part make a lot of noise. The teacher can hear it and will be angry but they don't care.

Monday
January 18, 2021


Did I write my fish is gone? My mother took it because it's too big. She didn't tell me what she did with it. Perhaps she gave it away or threw it into the canal. It's cold outside, it will not like it outside. What if it does? I don't think fish make friends.

Tuesday
January 19, 2021


If grown-ups talk it's always boring. It's about sport or politics as usual. There will be new elections and everywhere are posters of people they can vote at. The neighbours have posters behind their window and my mother too. It's strange because she never wants me to stick something on the window and she doesn't like the sprays with fake snow on the it either. I do not like to listen to boring old men. It's always the same. They never answer questions and make promises they never keep. It's like my dad. He makes promises he never keeps too. He loves to brag too about how the women like him and how the girls at school fought to carry his bag. I don't think it's true but he tells it over and over again. The world must have changed since then if it's true since where we live people do not like him. The children at school find him weird too because he looks different. If you look different people don't like you and they bully you. They do the same with children wearing glasses and those who are taller or have freckles and red hair. Red hair is not red but orange. I saw a girl with real red long hair and her hair is beautiful.
If your parents are different you are bullied too and if they are rich or poor, you don't learn easily, have bad notes, are not great at sport or cannot draw. It's all good for being bullied.
I am not sure if Hans-Paul is because he lives with his father but he's rich and a boy. I think he is lonely.

Both my parents lie but they hit me if they think I lie even if I say the truth. People don't like to hear the truth only like to hear what you want them to say. It's what adult do and politicians do. There's no need to keep a promise if an empty promise works too.

Wednesday
January 20, 2021


I told about Hans-Paul only having a dad. He has a dad and money but doesn't go home to eat. My mother said he can eat with us and I asked him. He's not a friend of mine but in my class. He came home with me and my mother did not act that terrible at least I hope Hans-Paul did not notice my mother acts crazy as Francoise did. With my mother, you need to watch your steps. Be careful always. She loves to hurt you, loves to hurt people. They don't see through her and don't believe me. They find out soon enough and if it's too late.

Thursday
January 21, 2021

Today I cannot write. I keep two diaries and am too tired to write. Tired of everything. I want to forget. The cold inside, my parents, my life.

Friday, January 22, 2021

A kid's diary

Screaming, crying doesn't help


Goats love to play


Replace that old standard

#kittywu #diary #childhood