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How to spend money

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Avatar for wakeupkitty
Written by   605
2 months ago
Topics: Freewrite, 2021, Money, Howto, Life

To some it is easy but for me, it isn't. To me, it's difficult to spend money. Already as a child, I had a calculator in my head and counted every cent.

For some reason my granny writing down every cent she spent impressed me way more than my mother. The first one survived the war. From a girl with a job, she became a married woman who emigrated to Indonesia alone and spent most of her life alone. In Indonesia, she gave birth three times, saw her house set on fire and walked with her three babies and many others to a Japanese concentration camp. No, I will not share with you how life in that camp looked like, not how she suffered from many others. Not because it isn't worth opening up but because she suffered more than anyone can imagine. She had way more than her share. Let's say she survived but that was all. She didn't die in the way her heart stopped beating but she died inside.

It's true what they say, no matter how hard you try time doesn't make you forget. Stress, fear will slowly eat you from the inside. You go on, force yourself to get out of bed because of the children. You continue and start all over again with... nothing.

Nothing with three little children in again a new country where you try to build a new life. You tell yourself you did it before so you can do it again. People think you are tough but you are not but have to because no one sees you, sees the real you. You wait for your husband to be found since he is taken to a Japanese concentration camp too. Every cent counts. You think twice if not ten times how to spend the small amount you have. There's no room to waste a piece of bread or something extra. You want your children to be educated, find a good job even if they are not willing to study.

My mother on the other hand is a spoiled child. Not only a spoiled child but one with a bad attitude as well. She loved to command others, each of her wishlists had always be fulfilled by everyone. What she bought was extremely expensive and she had no idea about the value of anything although she had a job. She could be upset about bills on a Friday but next buying herself for thousands of euros clothes, antiques, etc. She wasn't able to make a budget, save money and she easily threw away what she just bought no matter if it were brand-new clothes, shoes, all the fishes in the aquarium or food.
It's a miracle that I, being "raised" by a person like that can make a budget, learned how to safe and am thinking more than twice before I open my wallet.

I guess this happens if you, as a teenager, already do the accountancy of your mother, if you do all the shopping (groceries) on Friday's, if you live in poverty on your own and start your life in an empty apartment with a baby. I managed in some way although it was hard and no one noticed how hard it was. They only saw how great I did, later with a job, a car but no one saw I had no phone, never went out, had no friends and I had a huge lack of vitamins and lost my hair.

I managed but it feels as if I am back in time again, my history...
I avoid the shops as much as possible. I make a shopping list but only buy, once I go for groceries, what I can afford. While I walk through the shop I calculate how much I spent, what is in my shopping cart. At that time I still had guldens and had 10 guldens a week for me and one baby. Today I have 10 euros a week for me and two children, teenagers. The hardest thing to realize is in all those years I hardly spent money on me and that eats me. I feel like my granny... empty.

I noticed my children find it hard too to spend money, their own pocket money for themselves. I force them once in a while to buy something. Something they can use or like to eat. To a shopaholic, it may sound ridiculous but some people have to learn how to spend money. Just out of fun or to brighten up the day a bit before it's too late. It's good to have some savings but it's also good to enjoy now while you still can. From one day to the next life can be over, or change as it happened to my granny. With a broken, damaged body all the fun is over. You survive and no longer enjoy it.
Now and most likely the next 5-10 years we will deal with a crisis. Again the world will change and it's not said the fun will be back or our health is still intact.

#kittywu #life #money #money

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Avatar for wakeupkitty
Written by   605
2 months ago
Topics: Freewrite, 2021, Money, Howto, Life
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Comments

You are a strong woman like your grannny. And thankfully, your kids learned from you regarding spending money. It's because they knew that money is hardly earned before they are able to get hold of it.. maybe someday, when they can already provide for themselves independently like they have stable jobs and still single that they can already enjoy their money on something they want not only on their needs

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2 months ago

Thank you for your kind words. I did not meet my granny on a frequently base. I mean to say she could never influence me that much as my mother did. Perhaps it's because of her I started saving because I do notbwant such a stress? I hope my children will not change into a shopaholic because they feel later they missed a lot... get into debts. 🤔

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2 months ago