Can't you see!

It could be but it is not. Today is not my day. Of course, I got out of bed even though I didn't feel at my best. Unlike the past few days, it was not cloudy. We could not see the full moon, the special moon, because of the clouds. By the way, we all slept very well. The full moon does not influence our sleep.

Together with the youngest one, I fitted an old box with styrofoam walls, bottom, and lid. A DIY cooler, so to speak.

Then I went to battle with the bully of a chicken. This bully occasionally gets help from two other chickens. The result is that the bullied chickens do not dare to eat or drink. So there was some stress in the coop to get the bullies out and then it became quiet. Pleasantly quiet.

The bullies have moved to the other coop where also 1 chicken is living who doesn't dare to go outside. It is a nice animal so when the stress is gone and she is still hiding with me I might put her with the chickens who hopefully now can eat well without another chicken pretending to be a bully.

Those who think that animals do not bully and do not form groups to make each other's lives difficult are wrong. Chickens are bullies and it does not matter how much space they have.

I have read some more news, but that does not make one happy either. If I were to feel vicarious shame, it would be for all those governments and their WEF members who cheerfully keep the war going. Just as with the C19 lies, where no government or specialist is committed to weight loss and a healthy lifestyle, no one talks about peace now. No EU member is negotiating and Biden is just throwing more oil on the fire. People worldwide are suffering. They pay for the weapons they are shot with or sold and in addition, they die of hunger and cold.

The good news is that there is still hope. As I step in a large thorn for the third day in a row and also have a drawing pin stuck in my foot, people are being shot at like mad dogs. Is this the new normal?

I get palpitations when I think about it and I also get palpitations when I hear planes roaring or see them fly over. I notice that it even affects my flow. If a noisy plane flies over, the light in the kitchen flashes.

My children don't notice that I've been feeling lousy for days. As long as mum takes care of everything, she is not ill or at least not yet dead.

I stumble around, picking gum off the bonnet of the car and trying to ignore the pain in my big toe.

While trying to calm myself down - stay calm, breathe in and breathe out - I keep answering the same question over and over again until I go outside and shout: can't you see how miserable I am!

No, I can't see that, says my child who is on his way, after French fries, to a birthday party (his last one was 10 years ago?).

While I am frying fries for the children outside I wonder why I am having these palpitations. Feeling and seeing my heart beating in my stomach is bad enough.

Alcohol, smoking, medicines it is certainly not. Nor do I suffer from excessive stress when I sit quietly and read.

Pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, anxiety, stress, the thyroid gland, lack of sleep, lack of iron, calcium, magnesium... It could be anything, or as the youngest concludes: it is because you are a girl.

Saturday, July 16, 2022

#diary #saturday #parenting #life #kittywu