Words create change. The questions are much more ...

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Avatar for turuncu
3 years ago

We use the question "Why?" To find the cause of something? Usually a thing of the past

We usually use the "How?" question when planning for the future.

Can we guess the mental and emotional structure of a person from the questions asked? I say guess because it doesn't mean 100% certainty. Maybe he was affected by something he experienced during that time period, or he asked the question to come up with a different answer.

When we change the questions we ask with the same logic, we create a change in our mentality and life.

E.g;

"Why can't I make more money?" The question focuses on our reasons for not earning money, our assumed mistakes, that is, the past. The answers can of course be useful. However, it may not be enough. It can of course be useful to know where we went wrong. This may allow us to take action to avoid making the same mistakes again. However, it will not be enough.

Ask the question "How can I make more money?" When we ask, this opens our minds to thoughts and ideas about what we can do to earn more money.

Let's say we had a breakup at the end of a relationship that we could not manage properly.

"Why did this relationship end?"

"What did I do wrong?"

"Why did we break up?"

"Why did he do this to me?"

These questions include reckoning. Sometimes it may even be necessary? But it is judgmental. These questions can lead us to judge both ourselves and the other person. Sometimes it may be necessary. However, when we change the questions, our perspective on ourselves and our past relationship also changes.

"How can I have stronger and healthier relationships?"

"How can I be happy in my relationships?"

"What can I do to build loving relationships?

If our little child doesn't listen to our words very much;

"Why doesn't my child understand me?"

"Why is my son / daughter constantly breaking my word?"

"Why doesn't he keep promising?"

Instead;

"How can we and my child be more understanding towards each other?"

"How can I express myself better to my children?"

"How can I raise my child as a more responsible person?"

"Why am I unhappy?" instead, "How can I be happy?"

"Why doesn't anyone understand me?" instead, "How can I express myself better?"

"Why is my life full of problems?" instead, "How can I deal with my problems?"

"Why is the world so bad?" instead, "What can I do for a better world?"

"Why are there always wars in the world?" instead, "What can I do for a world full of love, peace, happiness and tolerance?

Both questions can be used, of course. But if we want to create change, the "How" question can help?

"How can I write a useful article?" I tried to look for an answer to the question as much as I could. I hope it was successful.

Thank you for reading.

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Avatar for turuncu
3 years ago

Comments

Very interesting article my dear friend.I agree with you that many times we ask ourselves the wrong questions.Probably,we ask ourselves a question first,in which we present ourselves as a victim and this is wrong.

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3 years ago

As far as I know, no question remains unanswered. Answers can sometimes come directly, as well as in the form of events, feelings, and situations that occur in our lives. The right question gets us the right answer. Thank you for your comment, my dear friend.😊

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3 years ago

Welcome always

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3 years ago

I am self-critical and I often know the answers to some questions in life. I very rarely judge others. Maybe the answers would be different if a person makes the right choice in his life. But he often makes mistakes.

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3 years ago

I think we should be able to self-criticize without going too far ... Otherwise, we will justify ourselves and we will not be able to improve. I think we can overcome any problem as long as we can communicate well. I don't easily blame anyone. Because I do my best to understand the point of view of the other person. Because as long as communication is possible, we learn from our relationships. There may be small arguments, but there should be no judgments.

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3 years ago

self-improvement is a life-long journey great post! you are correct...many people are quick to lay blame on others, instead of looking at all angles.

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3 years ago

Thank you so much for your comment. You are right. A little more tolerance is needed for a broader perspective. Often, instead of communicating and understanding each other, we immediately take judgment in our inner court and blame others. But that can change. We must be able to honestly share our ideas, thoughts and feelings within the framework of tolerance, respect and love. So instead of drawing boundaries, we can build bridges.

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3 years ago

We are intelligent people who ask ourselves everything. Questions must be asked about the unknown. Only the right questions will give you an adequate answer to satisfy your uncertainty. Or not?

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3 years ago

A friend of mine asks such questions right and timely while chatting; It is very enjoyable to chat with him. You know he gives you all his attention from the questions he asks. Asking questions is important in all areas of life.

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3 years ago

That is true, in the questions is knowledge by knowing the answers. There is nothing more pleasant than asking and really worrying about answering properly.

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3 years ago