We use the question "Why?" To find the cause of something? Usually a thing of the past
We usually use the "How?" question when planning for the future.
Can we guess the mental and emotional structure of a person from the questions asked? I say guess because it doesn't mean 100% certainty. Maybe he was affected by something he experienced during that time period, or he asked the question to come up with a different answer.
When we change the questions we ask with the same logic, we create a change in our mentality and life.
E.g;
"Why can't I make more money?" The question focuses on our reasons for not earning money, our assumed mistakes, that is, the past. The answers can of course be useful. However, it may not be enough. It can of course be useful to know where we went wrong. This may allow us to take action to avoid making the same mistakes again. However, it will not be enough.
Ask the question "How can I make more money?" When we ask, this opens our minds to thoughts and ideas about what we can do to earn more money.
Let's say we had a breakup at the end of a relationship that we could not manage properly.
"Why did this relationship end?"
"What did I do wrong?"
"Why did we break up?"
"Why did he do this to me?"
These questions include reckoning. Sometimes it may even be necessary? But it is judgmental. These questions can lead us to judge both ourselves and the other person. Sometimes it may be necessary. However, when we change the questions, our perspective on ourselves and our past relationship also changes.
"How can I have stronger and healthier relationships?"
"How can I be happy in my relationships?"
"What can I do to build loving relationships?
If our little child doesn't listen to our words very much;
"Why doesn't my child understand me?"
"Why is my son / daughter constantly breaking my word?"
"Why doesn't he keep promising?"
Instead;
"How can we and my child be more understanding towards each other?"
"How can I express myself better to my children?"
"How can I raise my child as a more responsible person?"
"Why am I unhappy?" instead, "How can I be happy?"
"Why doesn't anyone understand me?" instead, "How can I express myself better?"
"Why is my life full of problems?" instead, "How can I deal with my problems?"
"Why is the world so bad?" instead, "What can I do for a better world?"
"Why are there always wars in the world?" instead, "What can I do for a world full of love, peace, happiness and tolerance?
Both questions can be used, of course. But if we want to create change, the "How" question can help?
"How can I write a useful article?" I tried to look for an answer to the question as much as I could. I hope it was successful.
Thank you for reading.
Very interesting article my dear friend.I agree with you that many times we ask ourselves the wrong questions.Probably,we ask ourselves a question first,in which we present ourselves as a victim and this is wrong.