The road to hell is paved with good intentions

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

I perceive this phrase as trying to do good to someone without asking their feelings, situations, wishes and thoughts. In other words, waiting for the other people to accept what we consider good, by ignoring their personalities.

This is a situation that I have encountered frequently lately, and frankly, it is one of the most challenging things.

Have you ever thought that your child did not understand you and got angry even though you did a favor to your child who stepped into puberty?

In fact, your child begins to see himself/herself as an individual and wants to be accepted as an individual by the people around him/her.

In fact, if you try to understand the feelings, thoughts, wishes and expectations of the people in front of you; Perhaps you would be doing the greatest favor if you could understand their own living conditions, situations, and perspectives.

Empathy is not just thinking that I understand other people. Instead of describing a person by facial expression, dress, age and gender and thinking you understand what they want, you should ask them.

For example, imagine you are going to a restaurant. The waiter brings the food and drink that he thinks you like to your table. What do you feel? In fact, life is like that too. When you serve goodness to people according to your point of view and thoughts, they feel the same feelings.

A person can be both very hungry and very thirsty. It's best to first ask him if he wants water or food. You should not ask him/her to fill his/her stomach first and then drink water. Or vice versa...

It is your second mistake to see the feelings of other people and their thoughts about you as ingratitude if you do not apply this simple but very important detail.

You should ask the people you want to do good with a sweet language and an appropriate style, what they want. And remember, a person does not want the same thing every day, every hour. Thoughts, feelings, wants and needs change.

This can sometimes be considered small gestures. But best of all, you should make them feel that you respect the personality and character of the people around you. If you don't, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."