You Don't Want to Hurt Your Kid's Feelings. But….

While I am working last night and listening to some Youtube videos, I stumbled upon a video titled: What's the most painful thing you've been told?

when you keep criticizing your kids they don’t stop loving you, they stop loving themselves

A comment from the post struck me and made me think for a while.

Our little one is a year old right now, and if you ask me, she is such a sweet girl. She has her moments of being cranky and fussy, but I always try to see the good in her.

I am bad with verbal communication, and more often than not if I open my mouth and say words I am too tactful and don't recognize others. I always think that I am being nice when in reality, it may come across as hurtful or insensitive.

Don’t compare one child to another.

We hate to be compared to other people, but there are times wherein what we hate is being passed on to our children without us knowing we are doing it. When you compare one child to another, you are comparing their differences and not understanding that what works for one may not work for the other. As someone who studied Psychology, we are being thought about the multiple intelligences a person has. One can be good with something but falls short in a different field. We are all different and that’s what makes us special. For example, one may be very good at Mathematics but not that great at English. We need to understand that everyone has their own version of intelligence and we need to appreciate each other’s differences.

I had been compared with my siblings and that left a bad experience for me growing up.

Don’t label a child as good or bad.

You never know what they are capable of, and the only way to find out is by giving them a chance. I know it for a fact as I was once labeled as a "problem child" back in the day. I was always in the computer shop playing computer games and if not, I am in the arcade just waiting for the time to pass. I was never interested in school or anything that had to do with academics.

I lack focus and motivation. My parents were worried about my future as they thought that I will end up being just another person who has nothing to show for their life.

Stop nitpicking every little thing they do.

Yes, they are kids. They will make mistakes and you have to keep in mind that they are still learning. You have to give them a chance to grow, otherwise, they will not be able to learn from their mistakes.

Kids are not just smaller adults; they are different people who need to be treated with respect and kindness. It is important to remember that you were once a kid too, and if you did not have someone who treated you well then maybe that is why you are the way you are. Having said this, do not forget that kids need guidance and discipline. They need to be taught how to behave, how to think, and how to treat others. They are still developing as human beings and they need guidance.